Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his
Democrap Senator
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process
for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen
to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the
Senate. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before all the stupid American tax payers figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who are American citizens have had to pay
taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two
years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way
that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an
excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in
2006 and 2007. Also, being an illegal would give me an opportunity to
dump all of my stock and avoid paying a dime in taxes.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my children
would receive preferential treatment relative to college
applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the
burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still
have college age children driving my cars. I am also sick and tired of paying speeding tickets for them. Just last month I had to pay a huge fine because my wife was found guilty of speeding while under the influence of alcohol.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
illegal (retroactively) and copies of the necessary forms,
I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA
Topic: I want to be illegal, too! (Read 798 times)