1. The nurse asked him for a urine test, he handed her a test cup with a martini olive in it.
2. The nurses went to clean out his bed pan and found a bottle of Chivaz in it.
3. He gotten a brain tumor the moment Bongo called him "Uncle Teddy".
4. "Dear Teddy, thank you for back stabbing me you fat pig!" Signed Hillary
5. Jack Daniels sent flowers fearing they lose their best customer.