Kahanist Singles > Righteous Gentile Singles
What is the most important attribute of a good wife?
Shlomo:
Here, "rule over" means several things but not exactly what you are thinking. For example, as an extreme, it does not mean act like a muslim and beat your wife into submission and it does not even mean to boss your wife around like some type of insecure control freak (just using this as an example for clarification). It's a much deeper concept than this. Usually in most relationships, one person loves another more than the other and one has a certain control on the relationship and calls more of the shots by the very nature of this circumstance. Sure, a man should be strong and lead his family but he is commanded in the Torah to be kind and love his wife as he loves himself. How can you dominate and lord over someone that you love as yourself?
The ideal is to be with your equal because you can't respect - and therefore love - a person whom you rule over. This is very important and a person who does not heed this misses out on what that type of relationship has to offer. That's why it was a curse... and believe me, it was just as much a curse to Adam as it was to Eve.
This subject is very deep and can be misunderstood very easily. Perhaps, when I have more time, I can write more on this topic. Even the serpent is a deeper subject representing the animal nature in ourselves.
Scriabin:
--- Quote from: Shlomo on October 10, 2008, 06:39:28 AM ---It never says boss her around all the time.
It's a curse. It doesn't mean it's the ideal or what we are striving for. Just because they have greater pain in child bearing doesn't mean we should just chunk the pain medication... or turn up the heat at work to make sure we earn bread by the sweat of our brow. We strive to nullify curses.
--- End quote ---
Men have harder lives than Women.
This is why Women live longer than Men.
q_q_:
--- Quote from: Shlomo on October 10, 2008, 09:11:06 AM ---Here, "rule over" means several things but not exactly what you are thinking. For example, as an extreme, it does not mean act like a muslim and beat your wife into submission and it does not even mean to boss your wife around like some type of insecure control freak (just using this as an example for clarification).
--- End quote ---
Of course I didn't have that in mind. And of course you would argue that "rule over" doesn't mean that. Since you have argued that "Bossing her about" is not intended by that verse.
G-d might consider asking her to do the washing up to be "ruling over her".
And that she can't tell you to do things you don't want to do, because that would be her ruling you!
Bossing the woman about a bit is a very moderate interpretation of "ruling over her"
Again, i'm not saying that one should. Just that G-d told her, that that is her punishment.
--- Quote from: Shlomo on October 10, 2008, 09:11:06 AM ---It's a much deeper concept than this.
--- End quote ---
well your examples were beating the woman, and being a control freak , so yes it would be a "deeper" concept than that.
--- Quote from: Shlomo on October 10, 2008, 09:11:06 AM ---Usually in most relationships, one person loves another more than the other and one has a certain control on the relationship and calls more of the shots by the very nature of this circumstance. Sure, a man should be strong and lead his family but he is commanded in the Torah to be kind and love his wife as he loves himself. How can you dominate and lord over someone that you love as yourself?
--- End quote ---
as an entirely theoretical question, i'll give you an entirely theoretical answer.
have you ever seen how parents treat their children?
Put aside the reason why. It's an example, where A loves B or B,C,D, perhaps even more than themselves, but A bosses the hell out of B,C,D.
And BTW, Where does it say to love your wife as yourself?
As a personal belief, I do think that if you marry a woman, you better love her. And not just because you are commanded to!
BTW, I think you're on dangerous ground to say that in a relationship one loves the other more. And furthermore, that it's that reason why one calls the shots.
If 2 people will do anything for each other, can you really say , and is it really right to say or even to ask Who loves the other more?
And I think the one that calls the shots, assuming they are both logical, is the one more capable at the task.
--- Quote from: Shlomo on October 10, 2008, 09:11:06 AM ---The ideal is to be with your equal because you can't respect - and therefore love - a person whom you rule over. This is very important and a person who does not heed this misses out on what that type of relationship has to offer. That's why it was a curse... and believe me, it was just as much a curse to Adam as it was to Eve.
This subject is very deep and can be misunderstood very easily. Perhaps, when I have more time, I can write more on this topic. Even the serpent is a deeper subject representing the animal nature in ourselves.
--- End quote ---
You are acting like the punishment of ruling over your wife doesn't exist.
And indeed it doesn't , for that woman, if you're nice enough not to do so. In that sense, you are ruling over her! Because you have the power to decide whether to boss her about or not.
Nowadays though, we are in unique times where women are not necessarily dependent on men, and -thankfully- in the west it's not considered OK to beat the woman up, so that creates an equalness there. And nobody is ruling over anybody else.
~Hanna~:
Most women (well, me, lol) want a man who is kind, compassionate, gentile, loving, a leader, will love and adore and protect her no matter what, go to the ends of the earth for her.....be faithful and true, a good provider.....and love G-d with all his heart, mind and sould and love his neighbor as himself...
Well, that's what I want, anyway...
but if he is going to be throwing me around the house or beating me, forget about him. :o
q_q_:
--- Quote from: ~Hanna~ on October 10, 2008, 11:06:49 AM ---Most women (well, me, lol) want a man who is
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: ~Hanna~ on October 10, 2008, 11:06:49 AM ---kind,
--- End quote ---
nod
--- Quote from: ~Hanna~ on October 10, 2008, 11:06:49 AM --- compassionate,
--- End quote ---
nod
--- Quote from: ~Hanna~ on October 10, 2008, 11:06:49 AM ---gentile,
--- End quote ---
technically you may be correct on that one. But I think you meant gentle!
--- Quote from: ~Hanna~ on October 10, 2008, 11:06:49 AM ---loving, a leader, will love and adore and protect her no matter what, go to the ends of the earth for her.....be faithful and true, a good provider.....and love G-d with all his heart, mind and sould and love his neighbor as himself...
Well, that's what I want, anyway...
--- End quote ---
sounds nice
--- Quote from: ~Hanna~ on October 10, 2008, 11:06:49 AM ---but if he is going to be throwing me around the house <snip>, forget about him. :o
--- End quote ---
what if he has a good aim, and you land comfortably on a bed or sofa every time?
this is of course the righteous gentle section ;-)
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