I want to apologize to Muman, LKZ , Efraim Ben Noach (Sorry got you mixed up with another person I knew named Avraham), Chaim, CJD and all the other people I have offended.
I will admit I have been having a miserable time.. My business is bankrupt, working too many hours, lonely birthday week, I have not been accepted in any Jewish community I have attended and was insulted and rejected at the Orthodox kehillot I was attending a while back and still harbor resentments over being insulted for not "making the grade".
Nothing can excuse my actions.. I realize I F'd up big time and went out of my way to start fights and take out my aggression on other people. I know sometimes I have a short fuse and trying to work on that..
I agree, I need to make better teshuva myself. Life in Galut has not been good for me.. I'm sorry LKZ, especially, for being hostile and being threatening. I know you originally meant well and I just became aggressive and lashed out on you. It's true, it is I who started the fight with you, now all I can do is ask you forgive me for my wrongdoing. I know you didn't mean bad and I was acting hostile and making inflammatory statements.
I apologize CJD that you do not like me. I remember we argued in the past about guns and you thought of me as some crazy gun nut. I'll admit gun freedom/RKBA is another passionate subject for me, but understand that not everyone can agree with me about 2A rights, etc and I shouldn't look down on them for that. I also made inflammatory posts against the Catholic Church, calling them Crusaders.. I apologize for that. I guess, like others, I was disappointed that the Pope decided to side with the Arabs and that they bought up possessions sacred to the Jewish people. There are great Catholics and I have always respected Pope John Paul II who I believe is a Tzadik.
I am planning on trying to live the Yemenite Jewish way.. This may not sit well with some of my Ashkenazi brethren. For that , I apologize. I've always felt out of place in the West, despite appearing as redneck on the outside, I am fairly opposite on the inside. Maybe, some may even think I am too Islamic, Hindu, or Medieval in some of my views..
People may hate me for saying this, but I will be open. I have been very depressed, lonely and miserable. I actually joined a Sikh Temple (Gurudwara) for a while, because I couldn't make synagogue fees and just didn't feel liked by people at Chabad. When I go to synagogue everyone just ignores me, because I am unmarried, not wealthy and don't have lot of Talmudic knowledge. Soon as they find out I do not have a lot of money, it just seems that I am not realy worth anyone's time. I also feel like other Jews just try to act like they are better than each other, using Talmudic knowledge as a way to dominate other Jews who lack it.
What I know is that I love my Jewish people with all my heart and soul and care for them. I feel like a shmuck for attacking Muman, LKZ and our Noachide friend, Efraim, who bears my beloved great grandfather's name.
All I can ask is for forgiveness. I admit I am not the greatest guy, I am a major screw up at times.. I also never learned how to properly be a Jew, especially here in the US, hence, why some people will think the things I say don't sound Jewish. I grew up around rednecks and goyim and also adopted a lot of their mindset. I guess I haven't had the best influences.
Topic: My Apologies To Everyone Here (Read 2098 times)