Shalom JTF Readers,
I am writing this thread with a heavy heart this evening. I have been very depressed and down recently due to a number of things which have been happening in my life. For the last three days my favorite (and last) cat has not eaten and is getting anemic, about 20 minutes ago we (my friend and I) tried force feeding the cat but she is still quite lethargic and hiding in a dark space. This cat is my darling and I care so much for her and there is little I can do now but try to continue to get her to eat, give her some cat vitamins, and pray.
This news comes on top of the more upsetting news and the increase of the discomfort from my medical condition. I can barely walk anymore because of problems with the veins in my legs. I saw a vascular surgeon on Monday (and again on Tuesday) to have sonar tests on the veins and it shows that I need to have a venus closure surgery (again) on my already tired legs. On top of this discomfort my back has been excruciatingly painful and if not for the few pain medications I would be completely unable to function (drive or eat, go to the bathroom, etc.).
I have been given the week off for the Thaksgiving holiday but I really don't feel all that 'Thankful' considering the dose of unmitigated pain I have been enduring this week.
But deep in my Jewish heart I know that my suffering is not without meaning. I see the signs of Hashems divine judgement and I cannot help but feel that my suffering is deserved. If only my reward in the next world will compensate for the suffering i experienced in this world. And I know we should not expect reward, but I am coming from a place of very extreme suffering.
I pray that when I wake up tomorrow that my cat is still breathing and warm and wants to eat again. But there is a fear that Hashem has decreed a year of suffering for me (as the suffering indeed began after the High Holidays concluded). I could not stand through half the Amidahs of the High Holidays. I would stand on one leg during some of them because I felt ashamed of not being able to stand.
Anyway, I ask that those who care about a fellow yid mention me in their prayers for refuah shelemah (Michael Ben David) and I do this with much reservation. I have always tried to pray for others in the belief that healing comes to those who pray for the healing of others.
This weeks portion contains a lot of material. From the famous dream of the angels going up and coming down from heaven to the birth of Joseph (and everything in between). The trecherous Laban tries to swindle Jacob over and over again and Jacob learns how to deal with a swindler (and beat him at his own game). Laban tricks Jacob into marrying his oldest daughter even though he was promised the younger daughter (and it was Rachel who Jacob loved).
Chabads Parsha in a Nutshell:
http://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/3191/jewish/Vayeitzei-in-a-Nutshell.htm
Jacob leaves his hometown of Beersheba and journeys to Charan. On the way, he encounters “the place” and sleeps there, dreaming of a ladder connecting heaven and earth, with angels climbing and descending on it; G‑d appears and promises that the land upon which he lies will be given to his descendants. In the morning, Jacob raises the stone on which he laid his head as an altar and monument, pledging that it will be made the house of G‑d.
In Haran, Jacob stays with and works for his uncle Laban, tending Laban’s sheep. Laban agrees to give him his younger daughter, Rachel—whom Jacob loves—in marriage, in return for seven years’ labor. But on the wedding night, Laban gives him his elder daughter, Leah, instead—a deception Jacob discovers only in the morning. Jacob marries Rachel, too, a week later, after agreeing to work another seven years for Laban.
Leah gives birth to six sons—Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar and Zebulun—and a daughter, Dinah, while Rachel remains barren. Rachel gives Jacob her handmaid, Bilhah, as a wife to bear children in her stead, and two more sons, Dan and Naphtali, are born. Leah does the same with her handmaid, Zilpah, who gives birth to Gad and Asher. Finally, Rachel’s prayers are answered and she gives birth to Joseph.
Jacob has now been in Charan for fourteen years, and wishes to return home. But Laban persuades him to remain, now offering him sheep in return for his labor. Jacob prospers, despite Laban’s repeated attempts to swindle him. After six years, Jacob leaves Charan in stealth, fearing that Laban would prevent him from leaving with the family and property for which he labored. Laban pursues Jacob, but is warned by G‑d in a dream not to harm him. Laban and Jacob make a pact on Mount Gal-Ed, attested to by a pile of stones, and Jacob proceeds to the Holy Land, where he is met by angels.
And let me continue my tradition of posting the great Rabbi Richman of the Temple Institutes latest video...
Topic: Video Study for Parsha Vayeitze : Stairway to Heaven (Read 3372 times)