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Author Topic: Some shvartza jokes  (Read 5129 times)

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Offline DownwithIslam

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Some shvartza jokes
« on: August 09, 2007, 12:05:55 AM »
What's long and black and smells like sh@t?
 The welfare line.

What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day


Why does Alabama have [censored] and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.


Why are [censored] like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.

Why do decent white folks shop at [censored] yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.

What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
[censored] Are Always Causing Problems

Why are there trees in Harlem?
Public transportation.

How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.

How do you get 12 [censored] in a Volkswagen?
Throw in a welfare check.

How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application.


Why did god create orgasms?
So [censored] know when to stop.

What do you do if you see a [censored] with half a head?
 Stop laughing and reload.

Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.

Why do police dogs lick their ass?
To get the taste of [censored] out of their mouth.

I hope everyone enjoys them.



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Offline Shoshana

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2007, 12:08:43 AM »
 :D :laugh: Hilarious.
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Offline DownwithIslam

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2007, 12:11:00 AM »
I thought they would be funny.
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Offline Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2007, 12:12:19 AM »
You have a true gift of jocularity, DWI... now how about some wetback cucaracha jokes?  ;D :laugh:
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Offline Shoshana

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2007, 12:20:32 AM »
Quote from: C.F. on August 09, 2007, 12:12:19 AM
You have a true gift of jocularity, DWI... now how about some wetback cucaracha jokes?  ;D :laugh:

I would love to hear some of that kind too.
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newman

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2007, 12:23:38 AM »
Why don't wetbacks have BBQs?

The beans keep falling through the grill.
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Offline Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2007, 12:32:03 AM »
What's the difference between a Mexican and a worm?

Not much, they're always soaked in tequila.  ;)
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Offline DownwithIslam

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #7 on: August 09, 2007, 12:36:52 AM »
Whats the difference between a black and a bucket of sh$t?

The bucket.
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Offline Ehud

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #8 on: August 09, 2007, 12:48:12 AM »
ROFL

This one about stopping crime with abortion is my favorite.
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"The Jews will eventually have to face up to what you're dealing with here.  The arabs will never love you for what good you've brought them.  They don't know how to really love.  But hate!  Oh, G-d, can they hate!  And they have a deep, deep, deep resentment because you have jolted them from their delusions of grandeur and shown them for what they are-a decadent, savage people controlled by a religion that has stripped them of all human ambition . . . except for the few cruel enough and arrogant enough to command them as one commands a mob of sheep.  You are dealing with a mad society and you'd better learn how to control it."

-Excerpt from The Haj by Leon Uris

Offline Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #9 on: August 09, 2007, 12:51:52 AM »
Quote from: Ze'ev Jabotinsky on August 09, 2007, 12:48:12 AM

This one about stopping crime with abortion is my favorite.
In all seriousness that one is actually rather tragic. Schvartze women butcher their babies with no conscience at all. Blacks have abortions more than any other race.
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Offline Dexter

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #10 on: August 09, 2007, 12:56:56 AM »
Why are there trees in Harlem?
Public transportation.

How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.

Why are schvartzas like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.

lol  :D
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Not a foreign land we took and not with foreign possession but a land that belong to our ancestors that was occupied without a trial. And when we had the opportunity, we took our land back.
-Shimon Maccabee's answer to Antiochus VII Sidetes.

"When fighting monsters, be wary not to become one... When you gaze into the abyss, it also gazes into you."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Boeregeneraal

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #11 on: August 09, 2007, 01:12:30 AM »
hahahahahahahahahahhaha

These are excillent!!!!  :D :D :D :D

Keep them coming

hahahahahahha

Thank YOU
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Offline Ehud

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2007, 01:14:35 AM »
Quote from: C.F. on August 09, 2007, 12:51:52 AM
Quote from: Ze'ev Jabotinsky on August 09, 2007, 12:48:12 AM

This one about stopping crime with abortion is my favorite.
In all seriousness that one is actually rather tragic. Schvartze women butcher their babies with no conscience at all. Blacks have abortions more than any other race.

Well would it be better that they be raised with AIDs like in Africa?  That's what blacks would do to themselves if abortions weren't available.  I think that if blacks didn't have abortions, they would self-destruct.  They're already self-destructing so badly that if they were forced to have all the children they became pregnant with, their situation would be irreversable.  They would all literally be on welfare.  There would be much more crime.  Look, I'm all for saving life, but if it's just going to create a more desperate situation for a group of people such as blacks in the U.S. and blacks in Africa, I don't see a problem with abortion. 

If blacks were forced to carry through with their pregnancies, the poverty rate would increase astronomically.  People would be so poor, they wouldn't be able to feed their children and the cycle of violence, crime and poverty would increase exponentially.  It would be such a disastrous situation.

I'm all for saving life, but I think in the case of blacks in the U.S. it would actually do them more harm than good if they stopped having abortions.

Even though I'm for the life of unborn children, I'm also for the life of the living as well.
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"The Jews will eventually have to face up to what you're dealing with here.  The arabs will never love you for what good you've brought them.  They don't know how to really love.  But hate!  Oh, G-d, can they hate!  And they have a deep, deep, deep resentment because you have jolted them from their delusions of grandeur and shown them for what they are-a decadent, savage people controlled by a religion that has stripped them of all human ambition . . . except for the few cruel enough and arrogant enough to command them as one commands a mob of sheep.  You are dealing with a mad society and you'd better learn how to control it."

-Excerpt from The Haj by Leon Uris

Offline Ehud

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #13 on: August 09, 2007, 01:16:10 AM »
...and I've reached the 1000 mark, woo hoo!   ;D ;D
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"The Jews will eventually have to face up to what you're dealing with here.  The arabs will never love you for what good you've brought them.  They don't know how to really love.  But hate!  Oh, G-d, can they hate!  And they have a deep, deep, deep resentment because you have jolted them from their delusions of grandeur and shown them for what they are-a decadent, savage people controlled by a religion that has stripped them of all human ambition . . . except for the few cruel enough and arrogant enough to command them as one commands a mob of sheep.  You are dealing with a mad society and you'd better learn how to control it."

-Excerpt from The Haj by Leon Uris

newman

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #14 on: August 09, 2007, 01:20:51 AM »
Why do they put cotton wool in the top of pill bottles?


It's to remind the blacks that they used to pick cotton before they became drug dealers.
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Offline Shoshana

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #15 on: August 09, 2007, 01:24:40 AM »
Quote from: newman on August 09, 2007, 01:20:51 AM
Why do they put cotton wool in the top of pill bottles?


It's to remind the blacks that they used to pick cotton before they became drug dealers.


HAHAHA That's my favorite! :D
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newman

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #16 on: August 09, 2007, 01:31:28 AM »
Did you hear about the two negros on the TV show 'That's Incredible'?



One had no criminal record and the other one had a job.
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Offline Ehud

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #17 on: August 09, 2007, 01:33:52 AM »
Quote from: newman on August 09, 2007, 01:31:28 AM
Did you hear about the two negros on the TV show 'That's Incredible'?



One had no criminal record and the other one had a job.

That's funny, those that have either one or the other are rare but it's REALLY rare find people who have both!
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"The Jews will eventually have to face up to what you're dealing with here.  The arabs will never love you for what good you've brought them.  They don't know how to really love.  But hate!  Oh, G-d, can they hate!  And they have a deep, deep, deep resentment because you have jolted them from their delusions of grandeur and shown them for what they are-a decadent, savage people controlled by a religion that has stripped them of all human ambition . . . except for the few cruel enough and arrogant enough to command them as one commands a mob of sheep.  You are dealing with a mad society and you'd better learn how to control it."

-Excerpt from The Haj by Leon Uris

Offline nopeaceforland

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #18 on: August 23, 2007, 12:20:20 PM »
There's a puerto rican and a black in a car, who's driving?

The police, who else?!

When is the only time blacks have anything to do with a book?

Central BOOKing at the police station.

 
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Offline HiWarp

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #19 on: August 23, 2007, 01:38:04 PM »
Why are black people always so strong ?

... because Televisions are getting heavier..
Whats long and hard in Harlem?

First grade
A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"

"Africa," says the parrot.
...and for Shoshana

What are the first three words in every Mexican cookbook?

"Steal a chicken..."
What's 6 miles long and goes 4 miles an hour?

A Mexican funeral with one set of jumper cables
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"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny;
when the government fears the people, there is liberty.”
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newman

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #20 on: August 23, 2007, 06:34:02 PM »
New perfume for negro women.......

'Au de doo dah day'
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Erica

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #21 on: August 23, 2007, 06:39:48 PM »
Quote from: newman on August 23, 2007, 06:34:02 PM
New perfume for negro women.......

'Au de doo dah day'
Lame...
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newman

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Re: Some shvartza jokes
« Reply #22 on: August 23, 2007, 06:45:43 PM »
Quote from: Erica on August 23, 2007, 06:39:48 PM
Quote from: newman on August 23, 2007, 06:34:02 PM
New perfume for negro women.......

'Au de doo dah day'
Lame...

Why did the negro wear a tuxedo and top hat to get a vasectomy?

"If ah's gonna be im-potent, ah might jus' as well look im-potent!"
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