I see a problem on this forum and in the Yeshivish world. There are hundreds of thousands of non religious Jews in the world and many Jews do not know how to effectively interact with them or how to bring them close and usually they end up being overly aggressive and offensive and end drive them further away. I've been out in the world for a while and met a lot of these people and even brought some closer I am going to give you advice on the effective tactics and techniques I learned to bring these people closer.
1. Many Orthodox people do not understand the circumstances that brought about the non religious Jew. They falsely attribute such Jews as inherently evil since they are violating the commandments so as soon as they encounter such people ignore them completely or say offensive things to them. The first rule to understand is that us religious Jews are spoiled compared to the not religious Jews and it is not their fault that they are not religious but they are victims of circumstance. We religious Jews went to Yeshiva since we were children, had religious parents and ancestors going back many generations, practiced Orthodox Judaism since we were born and are well educated about Judaism. Most of the non religious Jews have never had a Jewish education and know next to nothing about our religion, in fact their whole life they were brought up in an anti religion liberal self hating environment, and their only education about religion was through public school and university. Most of the time their parents are also not religious. They know next to nothing about Judaism, so we must be as warm as possible and have as much love and understanding as possible to bring these people back.
2. You must admire the non religious Jew and treat him better than you treat yourself since it is he or she who has a greater spiritual potential than yourself. It is these people who have a greater potential in heaven then us religious Jews since G-d does not give men tests that they are incapable of passing. If you were born a religious Jew, then the Jew who was born a non religious Jew has a much greater potential than you. How? Since G-d knows that he is able to pass such a tremendous test of returning to G-d being born clueless to Judaism but you on the other hand might not able to pass the same test since G-d made it easy for you since you were born into a religious household. If you were able to pass this test then perhaps G-d would not have made it easy for you. Therefore, it is better for you to accept 10 insults then to say one insult to these people.
3. You must not expect fast results, rather you must try to be like water dripping on a rock. Water dripping on a rock will not do anything in the short run. But over many years, the water starts making an impression on the rock, then a hole, and finally it breaks the rock. Therefore, do not try aggressive tactics. This is the biggest mistake people make. You must use extremely passive tactics of the most passive nature.
4.
a) The most successful tactic step by step is to simply make friends with the person and not say anything suggestive at first. Simply by talking with a religious Jew regularly and doing nothing else, he will respect you and your inherent holyness and manner of behavior will rub off and make a positive impression on him or her, even if you never make any suggestion or confrontation. Also the person will not feel in the least way threatened of you trying to change them and they will only form a closer bond with you and let you into his heart. I've seen this happen with my own eyes so don't laugh.
b) After a while, the person will eventually and randomly open up and talk about something of religious nature, so this is the opportunity for you to point them into the right direction by simply asking them a question or two and letting them talk themselves or you may say something similar in a clever manner relating to yourself only and not directly at them (a very clever tactic explained later). Remember, don't be aggressive as this will fail! For example, if they say that they want to marry a Gentile, but their parents don't like it, you say "I'm religious and I'll only marry a Jewish girl". That's it. Don't go any further. It may seem pointless, but remember rule 3 that by simply learning about the way a religious Jew acts, it will have a positive effect on them. Also, when they say something about how they are upset about something religious like not having a Jewish Education, reply with sympathy like "I understand, it's very difficult not having gone to Yeshiva like I did". After you mastered this stage and the person is more comfortable you may give brief MILD advise and suggestions. For example, ask him/her if they are doing anything about the upcoming holiday and ask them if they want to come over to your home for the holiday. Another example is if the person says they want to become religious, tell them that you know that it is difficult for someone unobservant to all of the sudden become religious so they should just start with keeping the Sabbath. Keep doing this and eventually you might bring them back. If you are aggressive you will lose the person.
The only time you may be aggressive is if someone is your close friend and was religious but is now going off the path, then you could try to scare him but it may still be dangerous and cause him to ignore you.
Remember, never expect quick results. Never expect you to make a non religious person religious as most likely you will only know them for a short time. The most I've seen and been successful doing is when these people were heading on their way in the right direction. I'll probably never know if any of them actually made it as I knew most for a very short time and tried my best. Your mission may be successful in just one conversation where you simply talk to them about nothing but allow them to see how a religious Jew acts and you've made a positive impression on that person.
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Topic: Jdl4ever fail proof tips on how religious Jews can bring close those who are far (Read 3551 times)