JTF.ORG Forum
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: MasterWolf1 on May 26, 2008, 04:22:43 PM
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BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
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Other blacks: Mmmhmm, you know dat's right! We gots to get us some chickins! Some hot wing chickins, some barbakood chikins, some fraaad chikins, and hey! Watcho doin! Dat be my chikin leg!
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Olmert: That chicken had no right to cross the road because he belongs to the Arab and so does the road. Who do these "jewish supremacists" think they are, having their chickens cross roads. chickens that they stole from the Arabs a number of decades ago.
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Jesse Jackson: If deez chickens don't get their foodstamps for chicken feed we beez rioting to cross the road to demand dis!
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Farrachicken: Those white chickens be keepin us down, that's we don't fly well
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Moses: Let my chickens go!
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Bill Clinton: I crossed that road, but I didn't inhale, hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!
Michelle Obama: For the first time in my life, I'm proud to cross the road!
Miss South Carolina: I personally believe that one fifth of chickens can't cross the road because some chickens out there don't have roads you know in places like South Africa and uh, the Iraq.
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hilarious! a great post!
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Pee Wee Herman - I didn't choke THAT chicken!
Barney Frank - Because the chicken was homophobic.
Ahmadenijad - The chicken is only for peacful purposes ;)
Teddy Kennedy - Can the chicken swim?
Al Franken - Because the chicken is a big fat idiot.
Hillary Clinton - the chicken can still get run over, there's still time, it's only May you know, they got the pigs on the roast in July.
Spike Lee - to replace the mule on the forty acre housing project.
Jeremiah Wright - it was going home to roost, you dumb cracker.
Mike Bloomberg - He was trying to avoid my congestion tolls.
Danny Glover - To get a taxi, damn racist.