Sarah, it's time to be honest with yourself and us.
Nothing's easy. Life's tough enough, but for some it's tougher. I'm not talking money, bills, school or homework. I mean the other stuff some have to cope with.
The nice anglo-christian who grows to like the Jews discovers some things about his history, nation and community he has trouble accepting. Richard the Lion Heart, that great warrior king he admired as a boy turns out to be a scumbag who locked Jews in their synagogues and burnt them alive! The church where he was baptised and taken to by his parents each sunday used to put hot pokers in Jews' eyes. The man/god jesus he worshiped, that embodyment of absolute love and forgiveness, that living guarantee of everlasting life................false. Well, at least he's still got the father.....just not the son. As for the history, it was centuries ago. It's distant enough not to weigh too heavily. A bitter pill? Yes, but he copes.
The nice, post war German boy fares worse. He comes to the shocking realisation that his grandparents' generation (and sometimes his grandparents themselves) were/are monsters.He's painfully reminded every so often in old B&W newsreels. He's different to other boys in other countries. Patriotism and nationalism are taboo here. His countrymen are less nationalistic at the soccer than others. His countrymen are not allowed to be. The past is as unpleasant a subject with his elders as discussing the day's bowel motions. He learns that HIS country and HIS people are responsible for the most unspeakable crime in the history of man. He's rightly devastated. Unlike his anglo-saxon contemporary the crimes of his countrymen are not so distant. There are living members of his own family who took part! He can't dismiss it as ancient history. What does he do? He does what any normal human would. He attempts to deny....or rationalise..........or understate. Sometimes he does all three."Hitler only had 30% support". "The public didn't know about the camps"."Genocide was never the original intention" ...............and so on. The problem is he has trouble convincing himself. He needs some reinforcement. So he tries to convince himself by convincing others. He runs the same justifications, denials and arguments by others in the hope that by convincing them, he'll convince himself. It doesn't work either. His peace will only come with painful honesty and acceptance of the awful truth. The bigger, more bitter pill must be swallowed. Some succeed. Most don't.
I know how it must be for you, Sarah. You're a lovely, kind, gentle girl without a mallicious or hateful bone in your body. You too have come to a shocking realisation about the culture and faith of your birth. And you've confronted it bravely. I know why you've recently tried returning to islam. You're trying to protect your sanity. It's the Morocco move, isn't it? To live there as a non-muslim, living a lie and a charade would be an unbearable torture. Confronting your family about it even worse (to you). I believe you've done the only thing that you (subconsciously) think you can do. You've tried to find something worthy in it. Something to convince you that the acts of violence, destruction, misogyny and hate that you see 24/7 in every paper and on every TV are somehow not a part of it. That you can find a legitimate and worthy faith and way of life without having to leave islam and split with your family and home. Conflict avoidance. It's understandable, Sarah. Anyone in your situation would do the same. The truth is , Sarah..............it's simply denial.
I know you don't really believe the excuses, explainations and taqqiya of your teachers and Imams anymore than I do. It would be nice if it was so. To write off the terror, rape, flogging of rape victims and sharia mutilations as some sort of abberation carried out by a misguided minority would be so much easier. If only that was the case how much easier would your life be? Imagine the peace of mind if it was so. I know you've been desperately trying to convince yourself it is so by using the JTF forum as a sounding board. It's OK. It's a natural thing to try and do. But as much as you want to believe what they tell you, the facts and your own common sense won't allow it. The floggings, executions, mutilations and abuse of women are ordered by islamic courts, not street gangs. Those courts are presided over by senior islamic schollars, not peasants. The terror, murders and rapes are given ascent by Imams, not illiterate tribesmen. When someone asks the question."where is the non-radical majority in islam opposing the radical minority?" there is still no answer. You know this inconvenient truth. That's the source of your conflict. It's no wonder you want to walk into a deep forest and just disappear. I would too if I were in your shoes.
Now Sarah............................Please tell me honestly if I'm right or wrong. If I'm wrong ....where and how. I don't mean in religion. I mean about you. I can give you a link to sites containing the truth about islam but I don't think that's neccessary. You already know deep down despite the pain and conflict this knowledge causes you. Just tell me.
Your friend
Andrew.
Topic: My letter to Sarah. (Please make this a sticky thread for 2 weeks) (Read 15111 times)