Welcome to the Dannycookie "Ask the Love Doctor Show!"

[Dr. Dan]

and my best friend would see i'm dating someone already..what kind of friend is this to profess her love while i'm in the middle of a major relationship?!

Maybe she feels you can do better?

If my best friend was consistent with my parents and other friends to the girl i was dating was very wrong for me, then yes, I would go for my best friend.

But if my best friend was acting on selfish needs, then she really wouldn't be loving me...Loving someone doesn't necessarily mean loving that person just for your needs.  Loving someone can also mean wanting their best interest for their happiness. For me to love a girl who is dating another man who also is gentle and nice is fine.  And to profess my true love for that girl who is in love with someone else would be to let her be with that other man.  Now, if that man was evil..he was a cheater..etc etc etc...then as a friend I would warn my best friend.  This is how I would be if I loved my own best friend if she were a woman.  therefore, this is how I would want a female best friend to be with me also.  But she, alone, is only allowed to warn me with proof about the girl I"m dating..and if she really wanted me to break up with her to date she, herself, there would have to be consistency from others close around me in regards to the girl I'm currently dating...does that make any sense?

[Kiwi]

and my best friend would see i'm dating someone already..what kind of friend is this to profess her love while i'm in the middle of a major relationship?!

Maybe she feels you can do better?

If my best friend was consistent with my parents and other friends to the girl i was dating was very wrong for me, then yes, I would go for my best friend.

But if my best friend was acting on selfish needs, then she really wouldn't be loving me...Loving someone doesn't necessarily mean loving that person just for your needs.  Loving someone can also mean wanting their best interest for their happiness. For me to love a girl who is dating another man who also is gentle and nice is fine.  And to profess my true love for that girl who is in love with someone else would be to let her be with that other man.  Now, if that man was evil..he was a cheater..etc etc etc...then as a friend I would warn my best friend.  This is how I would be if I loved my own best friend if she were a woman.  therefore, this is how I would want a female best friend to be with me also.  But she, alone, is only allowed to warn me with proof about the girl I"m dating..and if she really wanted me to break up with her to date she, herself, there would have to be consistency from others close around me in regards to the girl I'm currently dating...does that make any sense?

Funny enough yes.

[Dr. Dan]

Good everyone has been successful this New years!

[Zvulun Ben Moshe]

Doctor, why wont you start recording your answers and make audio podcasts?

[Dr. Dan]

Doctor, why wont you start recording your answers and make audio podcasts?

because I have no time to do that.

[Dr. Dan]

Love Doctor:

Have you ever asked a somewhat random girl to go on a date with you, like one you saw at a convention or something?

yes

[Dr. Dan]

Love Doctor:

Have you ever asked a somewhat random girl to go on a date with you, like one you saw at a convention or something?

yes

I feel it can be good or bad.
I had a guy ask me out once at a store. I was buying cereal...not the best place to ask.
BUT a convention might be good because maybe you can start talking about the convention topic, find an interest and then "continue the conversation over dinner". (or coffee, whatever)
Well, that's just me.

Any place where a particular person is expecting to meet someone or who is receptive to someone coming up to him/her is a great thing.
However, best to avoid talking about politics and religion. I dont' know why, but that's what other recommend. I think politics and religion is a great way to know someone's soul immediately.

As far as getting someone's number in a public place...i was once on a train ride and a cute girl was smiling at me..I sat down next to her talked with her and got her number. Went out once.. ended up she was an ultra liberal hippy girl vegan with bad teeth and a very pro-PETA person and by PETA, i'm not talking about the bread we love to eat with falafal.

I'll say that was one memorable experience.

[Tina Greco - Melbourne]

Doc,

Why do people think, because you have a partner that away from you, that they must be cheating?

Do you think, people haven't forgotten how to trust each other?

[Dr. Dan]

Doc,

Why do people think, because you have a partner that away from you, that they must be cheating?

Do you think, people haven't forgotten how to trust each other?

It's insecurity and sometimes insecurity is a sign of low self-esteem.

It can also be a bad experience from someone from the past who cheated.

[Tina Greco - Melbourne]

Doc,

Why do people think, because you have a partner that away from you, that they must be cheating?

Do you think, people haven't forgotten how to trust each other?

It's insecurity and sometimes insecurity is a sign of low self-esteem.

It can also be a bad experience from someone from the past who cheated.

Yes but why do they project their ideas onto another couple that don't have those thoughts, do you think they are jealous?

[Dr. Dan]

Doc,

Why do people think, because you have a partner that away from you, that they must be cheating?

Do you think, people haven't forgotten how to trust each other?

It's insecurity and sometimes insecurity is a sign of low self-esteem.

It can also be a bad experience from someone from the past who cheated.

Yes but why do they project their ideas onto another couple that don't have those thoughts, do you think they are jealous?

Ah, i had this conversation wtih someone just yesterday...

Quite simply, it depends on who is projecting those thoughts.

If it is a non-parent and a friend who is projecting their thoughts it can be because they are jealous of the relationship OR they actually saw something.

If it is the parent of the one who you are with, it might be the parent's intention to make you paranoid because they don't like you.  In that situation, you have to hold your ground and say the right thing to them. 

[Tina Greco - Melbourne]

Doc, My son is dating a halfwit nutter what shall I do?

[Dr. Dan]

shall we put this show back on the air?  Questions anyone?

[Tina Greco - Melbourne]

Its about time doc 

Got one for you, My Rabbi gave me a list of names of single Jewish men, he wants me to be married by the end of the year, how can I tell him to shove it, in the nicest possible way?

[Dr. Dan]

Its about time doc 

Got one for you, My Rabbi gave me a list of names of single Jewish men, he wants me to be married by the end of the year, how can I tell him to shove it, in the nicest possible way?

why tell him to leave you alone?

[Tina Greco - Melbourne]

  So you think it is acceptable for Rabbis to demand a person to marry?

[Dr. Dan]

So you think it is acceptable for Rabbis to demand a person to marry?

how is he demanding you?

[Tina Greco - Melbourne]

Oh hmmm...

Have you very had a role model, someone you just adore, that you are close too, that you respect greatly?

My Rabbi is a lovely man he is 75years old, I have known him a very long time, and he knows everything about me. I spend hours on the phone to him every week, he is one of the best things in my life. 

I have no living father, he almost has taken that role.

And over the last few weeks, with the situation that has arisen, he feels the answer to this is for me to remarry.

As you already know Doc I have made poor choices in the past 

He now does nothing else but present men to me. And all talks now focus on this one issue.

I do have a man in my life, my Rabbi hates him. First time I ever have heard my Rabbi get abusive 

His words to me .... "you are too stubborn for your own good, you will marry, its gone has on long enough....

*removed alot of other things*......

....I will not stand back and let you ruin your life.. "

My Rabbi doesn't pull no punches.

 

I have such a deep connection with him, I don't want to go against him, yet I want a way out so he doesn't feel hurt.

[Dr. Dan]

Oh hmmm...

Have you very had a role model, someone you just adore, that you are close too, that you respect greatly?

My Rabbi is a lovely man he is 75years old, I have known him a very long time, and he knows everything about me. I spend hours on the phone to him every week, he is one of the best things in my life. 

I have no living father, he almost has taken that role.

And over the last few weeks, with the situation that has arisen, he feels the answer to this is for me to remarry.

As you already know Doc I have made poor choices in the past 

He now does nothing else but present men to me. And all talks now focus on this one issue.

I do have a man in my life, my Rabbi hates him. First time I ever have heard my Rabbi get abusive 

His words to me .... "you are too stubborn for your own good, you will marry, its gone has on long enough....

*removed alot of other things*......

....I will not stand back and let you ruin your life.. "

My Rabbi doesn't pull no punches.

 

I have such a deep connection with him, I don't want to go against him, yet I want a way out so he doesn't feel hurt.

Well, let's get specific.  What do you like about this guy you are with and what is it about him that your Rabbi hates and believes is wrong for you?

[Tina Greco - Melbourne]

Well, let's get specific.  What do you like about this guy you are with and what is it about him that your Rabbi hates and believes is wrong for you?

Well he is sweet, kind, we can talk to each other, he loves animals, and wants to get married, have kids.

Rabbi thinks he is false, and is conning me, believes that he only tells me what I want to hear.

He hates the way this fella treats me.

And he says I justify his actions all the time.

Rabbi reckons my loyalty is the only thing holding me too this man.

I am loyal and I believe in trying to make things work, I am not a woman that gives up easy.

He said this is the reason why I have had abusive men in the past.

Might I add Rabbi  has never like any man I have dated. 

[Tina Greco - Melbourne]

Well, let's get specific.  What do you like about this guy you are with and what is it about him that your Rabbi hates and believes is wrong for you?

Well he is sweet, kind, we can talk to each other, he loves animals, and wants to get married, have kids.

Rabbi thinks he is false, and is conning me, believes that he only tells me what I want to hear.

He hates the way this fella treats me.

And he says I justify his actions all the time.

Rabbi reckons my loyalty is the only thing holding me too this man.

I am loyal and I believe in trying to make things work, I am not a woman that gives up easy.

He said this is the reason why I have had abusive men in the past.

Might I add Rabbi  has never like any man I have dated. 

Jewish?

In the process

[Tina Greco - Melbourne]

I can see why your rabbi doesn't like him. The man is likely a liar, converting to please you. I say this because this happens all too often. Also, by definition a ger cannot be intimately involved with a woman. I think this is a false conversion, and if you marry him your marriage will be invalid by the Torah, nevermind a sin.

Its not an easy process to convert, it is easier to be involved with a Gentile.

I don't see the need to go through such a process just to marry a woman is a something a person would do.

Honestly he can get his leg over any woman he likes he is very handsome, I don't see that being the reason because I look ok, but I am no oil painting.

People convert for all types of reasons. There is many that never see converts as true Jews regards of motives.

[Dr. Dan]

Well, let's get specific.  What do you like about this guy you are with and what is it about him that your Rabbi hates and believes is wrong for you?

Well he is sweet, kind, we can talk to each other, he loves animals, and wants to get married, have kids.

Rabbi thinks he is false, and is conning me, believes that he only tells me what I want to hear.

He hates the way this fella treats me.

And he says I justify his actions all the time.

Rabbi reckons my loyalty is the only thing holding me too this man.

I am loyal and I believe in trying to make things work, I am not a woman that gives up easy.

He said this is the reason why I have had abusive men in the past.

Might I add Rabbi  has never like any man I have dated. 

How long have you known this man?  How does your rabbi know that he is conning you?  Has he been right in the past with other men you have been with or other things?

[Dr. Dan]

Well, let's get specific.  What do you like about this guy you are with and what is it about him that your Rabbi hates and believes is wrong for you?

Well he is sweet, kind, we can talk to each other, he loves animals, and wants to get married, have kids.

Rabbi thinks he is false, and is conning me, believes that he only tells me what I want to hear.

He hates the way this fella treats me.

And he says I justify his actions all the time.

Rabbi reckons my loyalty is the only thing holding me too this man.

I am loyal and I believe in trying to make things work, I am not a woman that gives up easy.

He said this is the reason why I have had abusive men in the past.

Might I add Rabbi  has never like any man I have dated. 

Jewish?

In the process

I can see why your rabbi doesn't like him. The man is likely a liar, converting to please you. I say this because this happens all too often. Also, by definition a ger cannot be intimately involved with a woman. I think this is a false conversion, and if you marry him your marriage will be invalid by the Torah, nevermind a sin.

hey, this is the dannycookie or Dr. Dan show, not the T.A.N.I.A. show!

lol...but i do agree..i just came across this reply...if this guy is in the process of converting....i'm on the side of your rabbi with this guy's real intentions...sorry to break this news.

[Dr. Dan]

I can see why your rabbi doesn't like him. The man is likely a liar, converting to please you. I say this because this happens all too often. Also, by definition a ger cannot be intimately involved with a woman. I think this is a false conversion, and if you marry him your marriage will be invalid by the Torah, nevermind a sin.

Its not an easy process to convert, it is easier to be involved with a Gentile.

I don't see the need to go through such a process just to marry a woman is a something a person would do.

Honestly he can get his leg over any woman he likes he is very handsome, I don't see that being the reason because I look ok, but I am no oil painting.

People convert for all types of reasons. There is many that never see converts as true Jews regards of motives.

In my opinion, I disagree with you.