Well, you know, this is REALLY HARD for me. HARD. My Roots going back to the way b4 1400's in Portugal with forced catholic conversions, that have effected my personal Jewish roots for generations.. Inquisition.. For ie: I ALWAYS want to know EXACTLY what people are thinking of me. I ABHOR when missionized, or preached to. DisLoyalty is an ABOMINATION to me, and I cannot stay friends with a person, AT ALL, if they have backstabbed, been disloyal, or refuse to take up for me. I almost ALWAYS need some type reassuring from CLOSE family, or the few friends that I have, that I am doing right. I CANNOT take being under a personal spot-light, and DEF. get truly AFRAID when someone approaches me, if I perhaps have offended them, I almost feel scared that they will kill me, I KNOW this sounds NUTS, ( I CONSTANTLY have to work on this, EVERYDAY, all the time). There are too MANY little things like this, that I have had to pray and ask G-d to please help me deal with, each one is a battle.
When people tell me that I am not a Jew, because of how I present myself, (or whatever) I get choked up and cannot breathe, if people tell me that I am not a good "christian" I get just as choked up. It is NOT easy having come from a line that are Cryptos, both faiths are in our roots and family now. My whole family is so secretive, Right away, if I meet a person that I REALLY like, I tell the person ALL of the BAD points about my character, so that they know straightaway. Family's that are crypto, are TOUGH to deal with, they share NOTHING with even each-other.
So, HOW DOES one tell if a person is Jew or Gentile? Because of my little insecurities, I take people at their word, and warm up to them instantly.. I suppose It doesent matter to me, AS LONG as the persons intentions are true, and they mean WELL. I suppose this would really bother a person that has BOTH mother AND father that are Jewish.. perhaps people 'want' to be Jewish? I dont know. I would suggest to a person like this to get all of his roots and find out for himself. This is really hard for me, I opened myself up here, because Q's like this get to me. TY.
I can't relate to all your emotions..
But surely you are aware that the rule is.
If your mother is jewish, you are jewish.
One may be a bad jew or a good jew, but a jew is a jew.
Other "movements" that do not believe the torah is from sinai, can invent who is a jew, make it cultural, patrilineal, e.t.c.
perhaps one could say "culturally jewish" or "ethnically jewish" though those terms are problematic. And it doesn't make one jewish or not jewish, it has no bearing. But if that is your "jewishness" then it is better to say that than to say Jewish.
anybody who wants to become jewish can. So anybody who "feels jewish" but isn't, is welcome to become jewish, if they are serious.. It's a long process.
Nobody should be offended by being told they are jewish or not jewish. Or by being jewish or not jewish..
If you try to present yourself as a good christian, and as a jew , then you're going to run into problems. You might resolve it by saying you believe christianity and happen to have some jewish ethnicity, and like many christians here - sympathy for israel. Or by becoming orthodox and converting - which would be a hard route. If marriage certificates can prove to a rabbinate that you are jewish, then it would be easier, you would just have to reject christianity. You would have problems if you try to be both at the same time..
If rabbis do not accept you as jewish, becuse of insufficient proof. Then you may as well say Ethnically jewish - NOT JEWISH - but perhaps proud of your roots and whatever. While believing in whatever religion it is you believe in - chrstianity or whatever. You could be a torah believing noachide, but then don't pretend to be a christian .
If you claim to be of 2 religions, it will be too hard, you won't fit into any community..
maybe there are councillors that specialise in healing members of crypto families that have this problem.
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