Barefoot, pregnant, obedient, always pretty, laughing, and cheerleading. Perfect Wife. What EVERY man is looking for.
I don't want a woman who is obedient or barefoot. While I would love to have a big family, I need a little challenge in a relationship to remain happy and would hope she worked at least before children were born. I really would become bored if it was too easy. Most women know this about men and it works the same for women. As humans, whether we like to admit it or not, we need challenge in order to be happy. I also would want her to have her own hobbies, mind, and independent self-image.
It's NOT healthy for man to dominate women. If we look at the Torah's story of creation, G-d determines that man needs a helpmate, but it is a while before Eve is created. Instead, all the birds and animals are created and Adam is asked to name them. At the conclusion of this part, the Torah tells us, "... but for Adam no fitting helpmate was found." What's the lesson we learn from this? Why did G-d say this after Adam named the animals? Why wasn't Adam happy with an animal for a helpmate?
Because an animal is subordinate to man. It's not his equal. Adam had been commanded earlier to "Have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth." So Adam could not overcome his loneliness and find true love with a subordinate being, over whom he ruled.
The false religion islam and ego teaches men must dominate women. This type of will to control comes from insecurity and low self-esteem. It's an effort to control the outside because a person has no self control - which is what the soul really wants.
Materialism teaches that what they look like on the outside is most important. While I agree there must be at least a small amount of attraction, I say this is a terrible reasons to marry.
Proverbs 31: Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
I think the Torah has it right.