That would be great.
Picture of baby shows up on screen.
Audience oohs and ahhs appropriately
Hussy: "Look at that baby! Look at it! It's got his eyes! It's got his nose! That is John Edwards' baby!
Edwards: That's not my baby! It doesn't look anything like me! She's just a hussy and it's not my fault she can't keep her legs closed!
Audience hoots and hollers
Maury: Now Mr. Edwards, if this is your baby, would you be willing to be a father figure and care for this child?
Edwards: Of course, but there's no way this is my baby! You know I saw little Hussy here going off with Hillary...
Maury: Hillary?
Edwards: Yeah, you didn't really think Hillary was a woman, did you?
Audience screams and hoots and hollers
Hussy: You know this is your baby and you just don't want to admit it! Just because Hillary's a man doesn't mean this isn't your baby and you be the baby daddy!
A commercial break happens.
Why is Bob smiling? We all know why.
See how this blue liquid absorbs so quickly into this cotton? It's very good at absorbing blue liquid, but you're outta luck if you want it to absorb a red one.
Use Mr. Clean, he'll come over to your house and fold his arms in front of him while you clean!
Watch these cute scrubbing bubbles dance around this bathroom cleaning everything up. If you buy the product though, this won't really happen.
Choosy moms choose Jiff, because Peter Pan is gay and you don't want your kids eating gay peanut butter.
End commercial break
Maury: We're back with John Edwards and we're trying to find out if he's the father of this Hussy's baby.
Hussy: I aint no Hussy!
John Edwards: I KNOW I'm not the father Maury!
Maury: Are you ready for the results?
John Edwards and Hussy: Yes Maury!
Audience is obviously in rapt attention.
Maury: In the case of little baby John Edwards Jr., Mr. Edwards, ....... dramatic pause....... you ARE NOT the father.
John Edwards: HAHAHA! I told you, -bleep- -bleep- -bleep-
Hussy: Wails and runs into back room, followed by Maury