What troubles me about this "story" -
For some strange reason I seem to think that the jig "sprayed" human semen
out of his penis all over that pure, blue-eyed, blonde haired white woman!
The story as written makes no sense whatsoever.
How does someone "spray' human semen all over some woman's clothes when she's standing in a crowd in public?
Unnamed sources said that when apprehended, the suspect was making lots of monkey noises and chimping out in his cell.
The only statement he would give the investigators was the following:
"Mee go hee hee"! "On dress"..."Lot'um good hot hot peener"..."so"..."white wumun!"..."ya-ya!"...
One source went on to say that upon hearing this, one enraged detective clubbed "the man suspect" over his head with his industrial grade police issue flashlight, at which point the chimpanoid unleased several gallons of badly digested intestinal contents into his pants and began screaming "Preachuh B prayin' cos' chimp B sprayin'!"