I really need some help Rabbi

[DoubleTap]

I was given up at birth and adopted through a private adoption.  My adopting parents were catholic, as such, I was raised catholic.  I was trimmed at birth.  When I was 30 I found my birth mother and found that she is Jewish, as is her mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.  I have the documentation.  My entire childhood and adult life I felt I was pretending to be a christian.  I do believe Jesus was an historical figure of singular vision for humanity, and perhaps a prophet of importance, but I have always held a firm distrust of the gospels as propaganda.  I believe that I am a good man of faith in G_D, I adhere to the commandments and I pray regularly for guidance.  I found JTF last year and my gravitation toward my heritage has grown expotentially.

All of this came to a head last month when my devoutly christian wife left me over my refusal to continue attending christian church with her and my two teenage daughters.  We are heading for divorce and I have no idea where to find help to guide my actions from hereon as a Jew in good standing under the LAW.

[DoubleTap]

Thank you Ma'am.  I will try askMoses.  As for local assistance from a Rabbi, I would have already gone that route but I live in a small town in the middle of the Mojave desert and we have none.   Thanks again.

[DoubleTap]

This is the answer so far, but there is a promise of further assistance.
"A fairly accurate rule of thumb is that if your question can be answered with one answer, then you haven't asked much of a question. A truly significant question will always provoke numerous, different, and even contrasting answers."

[RationalThought110]

What is your specific question?  About the divorce? Are you asking if you would need to convert to Judaism? 

[Lubab]

Hi DoubleTap,

A very interesting story, not entirely uncommon. I'd love to help in any way that I can, but I'm also not clear on what exactly is your question.

If you are interested in a Jewish lifestyle you might consider moving to an area with an orthodox synagouge which is open to newcomers like yourself (like a chabad). It will be important to have that kind of live support system on your journey.

Wishing you much Blessings and Success on what is no doubt a great turning-point in your life.

When dealing with such grave issues many have found it helpful to put your thoughts and questions down in a letter and send it to the gravesite of the Lubavitcher Rebbe. You might try this. Instructions are here: http://www.ohelchabad.org/templates/articlecco.htm/aid/78446/jewish/Sending-a-letter.html

May seem kookie but it is a central tenant in Judaism to connect ourselves with and ask guidance of the Righteous leaders of our generation. Many have done this (even after the Rebbe's passing) and received strength and guidance in all kinds of ways.

P.S. That response from Askmoses didn't sound too promising IMO. You might try another scholar.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

Hi DoubleTap,

When dealing with such grave issues many have found it helpful to put your thoughts and questions down in a letter and send it to the gravesite of the Lubavitcher Rebbe. You might try this. Instructions are here: http://www.ohelchabad.org/templates/articlecco.htm/aid/78446/jewish/Sending-a-letter.html

What  . You belive in him being the Moshiah? What will writing a letter to a Rabbi who passed away accomplish? please explain.

[MassuhDGoodName]

Re:  "...What will writing a letter to a Rabbi who passed away accomplish? please explain..."

Just because he's passed away doesn't mean that he's stopped reading all of this mail!

[Ehud]

I'm sure you need lots of help and you probably have endless questions to ask that need to be answered.  First of all, I would like to commend you in your recognition of your belonging among the Jewish people.  Too many people have Jewish mothers but wander off, become atheists, Christians (even some on this forum), or G-d knows what else.  You are obviously a man with tremendous character, to the point of even risking your marriage for the truth of who you really are.  That is very respectable, the fact that you want to recognize yourself as Jewish against adversity (losing your wife, living in an area without any Jews, changing your identity) is frankly one of the most amazing stories of a Jewish person I have heard in my entire life.  Something tells me that you have a reason to remain Jewish, just in the way you found your mother, and the signs of you not tolerating Catholicism when you rejected Jesus' teachings, it was meant to be.  If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask, there are many people here who would love to help you in your quest to recover your true identity. 

[jdl4ever]

What  . You belive in him being the Moshiah? What will writing a letter to a Rabbi who passed away accomplish? please explain.

I don't understand this either.  It's a Lubovitcher thing and if it works for them, then great. (Cain, heim maminim she'who moshiach). 

[MarZutra]

I was given up at birth and adopted through a private adoption.  My adopting parents were catholic, as such, I was raised catholic.  I was trimmed at birth.  When I was 30 I found my birth mother and found that she is Jewish, as is her mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.  I have the documentation.  My entire childhood and adult life I felt I was pretending to be a christian.  I do believe Jesus was an historical figure of singular vision for humanity, and perhaps a prophet of importance, but I have always held a firm distrust of the gospels as propaganda.  I believe that I am a good man of faith in G_D, I adhere to the commandments and I pray regularly for guidance.  I found JTF last year and my gravitation toward my heritage has grown expotentially.

All of this came to a head last month when my devoutly christian wife left me over my refusal to continue attending christian church with her and my two teenage daughters.  We are heading for divorce and I have no idea where to find help to guide my actions from hereon as a Jew in good standing under the LAW.

Brother, I have a friend, also a JTF member of the forum whose family is in the conversion process due to similar circumstances as you are/have been going through.

I strongly suggest taking a trip to your nearest Othodox Synagogue.  Ask Moses is good but it is not personable.  It is much better as a resource site towards Jewish studies and not specifically what you are going through.  I feel, for you to make an informed decision you might truly consider researching where there is an Othodox Synagogue near you and call the Rabbi and set up a few hour visit.  You will have many questions, many uncertainties and too many clearifications within your own mind that need attention and settling.

Mazzel tov to you....  I think once your knowledge of Jewish history and Judaism grows you will be able to entertain both logic and theological discussions with your family.  They will have questions and you will have answers that are very logical.... 

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

What  . You belive in him being the Moshiah? What will writing a letter to a Rabbi who passed away accomplish? please explain.

(Cain, heim maminim she'who moshiach). 

PM me for what that means.

[DoubleTap]

Many thanks to all who have replied here, sent personal messages and emailed me about this.  I guess I didn't ask a specific enough question because I really didn't really know what to ask.  What I should have said is that I wanted help understanding the Law relating to divorce from a non-Jew and how that any actions that I take might adversely effect my intended transition into the ethnic and religious community which I believe to be my birthright.

Over the past 8 months I have successfully transitioned my BBQ catering business into a Kosher/ Halal BBQ catering business.  Who knew there was so much call in Southern California for Kosher catering???  Much of that success I attribute to the excellent advice I have received through JTF members and their contacts in the Southern California Jewish community.

Naturally when my current situation reared it's ugly head I came here first for advice.  Thanks to the direction and support I received here I have an appointment tomorrow to meet with a Rabbi and try and figure out what I should and shouldn't do in my divorce and custody issues ,and how they relate to my intended religious education and conversion.

Thanks again.

[Wayne Jude]

ASKMoses is a great site .I Think you will find  it helpful.

[Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks]

I am so very sorry to read of your story, Double. Your "wife" proved what a piece of Amalek she is. The Christian Bible specifically says that divorce is never justifiable except for infidelity.

[Ehud]

What an amazing story!! I hope you mesh well with Rabbi Harlig!

Rabbi HARLIG???  From California?

Yes, Chabad of the Inland Empire. Don't tell me! Is he your Rav? Maybe you'll see DoubleTap there from time to time!

What a small world!!!!

I used to live right next to that Chabad.  I didn't know about it at the time though. 

I'm very impressed that you were able to transform your BBQ catering service into a Kosher/Halal catering service. I'm amazed at your dedication and willingness to try something that has the potential to be risky. 

I hope your meetings with the Rabbi go well and you are able to make the best decisions for you and your family. 

Keep us updated, DoubleTap!

[Wayne Jude]

Have to agree with Cf.There is one reason OK for divorce.Infidelity ,and that is the same for Christians and Jews alike!

[jdl4ever]

Not in Judaism.  In Judaism you can divorce your wife/husband whenever you wish.  You don't even need a reason.

[Wayne Jude]

Well, if that is true than I envy you all.LOL

[Dominater96]

Not in Judaism.  In Judaism you can divorce your wife/husband whenever you wish.  You don't even need a reason.

A women cant divorce her husbande whenever she wants. If the husband doesnt want to give her the get then he doesnt have to.

[newman]

Not in Judaism.  In Judaism you can divorce your wife/husband whenever you wish.  You don't even need a reason.

A women cant divorce her husbande whenever she wants. If the husband doesnt want to give her the get then he doesnt have to.

According to Rabbi Blech (orthodox), a Jewish woman can divorse her husband for not making love to her enough!