(Why) Are Women So Cryptic?

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(Why) Are Women So Cryptic?
by Rabbi Aron Moss

I did exactly as she said and I'm in trouble.


Question:
You wrote that women are relationship beings and men are loners. Well, if women are
Men are literalists; women are intuitive.
such relationship experts, then why can't my wife communicate clearly and just say what she means?


It was her birthday yesterday and when I mentioned it last week, she said, "Don't you dare do anything for my birthday!"


So, I didn't. Now she won't speak to me. I did exactly as she said and I'm in trouble. Am I missing something?


Answer:
Yes, you are missing something. It's called "women's intuition." Your wife has it and you never will. Men are literalists; women are intuitive. It's been that way since the beginning of time.


It all started with Adam and Eve. When G-d told Adam, "Do not eat of the fruit of knowledge, because if you do you will die," he took it literally. But Eve read between the lines. She understood that when G-d says don't eat, He really means, "Eat, but I didn't tell you to."


Eve sensed that G-d wanted humans to experience mortality and fallibility, He wanted them to know both good and evil, but He didn't want to force it on them; He wanted them to choose it. She used her intuition to uncover what she thought G-d really meant. That's why she ate of the fruit.


Eve acted intuitively because that's how she was created. The verb used to describe G-d creating Eve is vayiven, which literally means G-d "built" Eve, but can also be translated as G-d "endowed Eve with intuition." She was given an additional insight to be able to read between the lines and understand what lies behind the words people say.


To this day, women possess this ability, to intuit hidden messages and sense what is below the surface. And sometimes, they mistakenly expect others to have this insight, too. When your wife told you she doesn't want anything for her birthday, she thought you
Eve acted intuitively because that's how she was created.
would hear not her words but her inner intention. What she meant was, "I don't want to tell you what I want for my birthday, I want it to come from you." But, being a man, not blessed with women's intuition, you took her at face value and did as she said: nothing.


Women's intuition is a wonderful gift, but your wife will have to learn that you simply don't have it. Her female friends might know exactly what she means even when she doesn't say it, but you, her husband, will only ever hear what she says and act accordingly. You must let her know that you may never learn to read her mind, and teach her to say exactly what she means and give you clear instructions. This is not because you are not in tune with her, and not because you don't love or understand her. It is because you are a man. That's all you'll ever be.

2 Cheshvan 5768 / 14 October 07

[kellymaureen]

Not all women do that, if I want something I'll just come right out and say what I want, and I like other people to do the same with me, i dont like guessing, Im not a mind reader and I hate riddles.

[Sarah]

So when Adam and Eve ate from the tree, it was not a sin? Since, God wanted us to experience, death?

[kellymaureen]

Absolutely Mills, any woman who does this is just playing silly games and KNOWS it.
Men are human, same as us, we cant read minds, why would they be able to

[Erica]

Absolutely Mills, any woman who does this is just playing silly games and KNOWS it.
Men are human, same as us, we cant read minds, why would they be able to

I have the same pet peeve. I'm so tired of women telling me "My husband knew exactly what I wanted..." when he probably had no friggen clue! If you don't tell him, he'll never get it.

[kellymaureen]

Yes, and thats fair....imagine if men played that game, I dont have the patience for guessing, just tell me what you want/need in plain english

[Erica]

Yes, and thats fair....imagine if men played that game, I dont have the patience for guessing, just tell me what you want/need in plain english

YES! Is there a pill that some females can take to remind them that their husbands are human also?

[kellymaureen]

Lol if you could invent one you would be the richest woman in the world, not to mention adored by men everywhere

I have mostly male friends, which is why I think I am lucky enough to have the male prespetive on this kind of thing, and actually see what it does to them, its very unfair and women really need to learn to be better at communicating with men, I know most women think that is the other way around, but really its women who need to learn how....men CANT read our minds

[kellymaureen]

Or you end up with "yes men"....yes dear this and yes dear that....ugh who wants that, not that I dont want a nice guy, but he doesnt need to agree with me on everything, I dont mind being challenged, and sometimes its ok to agree to disagree.  I have seem some of my male friends, nicest men in the world turned into doormats by horrible women, its painful to watch, and love is blind so they wont listen to me, till its too late of course:P

[kellymaureen]

It's like when women pretend they're interested in a man but are just playing games or pretend they're not interested but really are.

Yacov, youre right, and better off without any woman who would do that, some women  are on a big ego trip, they think they are all that, and to prove it play with some poor guys mind, somehow makes them feel superior...just avoid that kind.

[Lisa]

Everyone, you all should take a look at this excellent essay written by blogger Kim Du Toit (a man) called "The Pussification of the Western Male."

http://www.theothersideofkim.com/index.php/essays/41/

It's a classic.

[Erica]

I agree with both of you! Sadly, we have no pills, I'm afraid this problem has been ingrained in our societies. And then, people just blame it on female HORMONOES and then men end up apologizing to us for not being able to "read our minds".

Since we're mostly women here in this forum... I equally hate listening to women babble on about how 'their friends are visiting' and they get mood swings; then we (or I) find out that they reserve their tyrades for moments like those. lol "Oh, I'm so sorry I snapped on you, Aunt Flo is visiting and she is the B-word making me treat you this way...." LMAO   I'll buy that attitude coming from menopausal women, but women who have complete control over their emotions and act like this make me sick.

[kellymaureen]

Any woman that gets THAT emotional, or cant control herself due to aunt flo visiting, needs to be on some sort of happy pills, thats a silly excuse.

I want a man to treat me nicely, therefore I will treat him the same.

One thing I notice, is that very very nice men usually end up with the most HORRID of women...go figure.

Im sure my sons teacher was calling me the B word as I walked away...possibly even a few other letters after I gave him an impromptu history lesson in the hallway

[Sarah]

I always get into stroppy moods, but I don't take it out on anybody, much.

[Lubab]

I understand why woman are often so cryptic. They want the man to figure them out through some effort because if they do this would show that they are interested in them and care about what they want.

It's not about what they want, so much as it is about how much do you care to know what they want.

[Kiwi]

Women are not cryptic, I understand myself perfectly 

[Joe Schmo]

Women are infallible.

What else needs to be said, Jakov?

[newman]

Men & women:

75 years ago;
My grandmother (just 18/19) met my grandfather. She saw that he was reasonably presentable, had a decent education, was a gentleman, had a good job, a good future and stayed sober most of the time. She didn't muck around and waste time. She grabbed him with both arms, they got married, stayed married and had nearly eight decades together. She had no stupid Oprah show, womens' magazine expectations a a 'perfect' composite that didn't (and still doesn't) exist.

Today;
Single women well into their 30s are sitting around in bars crying about not being able to find anybody. The fact is that there are more elligable men around than there has ever been. Men are better educated, more worldly and with higher average incomes than ever. Yet the women are not satisfied. Listen in on the bacheolerettes' conversations and you'll hear this..." John's a nice guy with a good job and he's so kind but he's boring......Steve on the other hand is a phycopath with no money or prospects but he turns me on"

Or this...." Thought I'd found a good man last week. He has a good job and a college degree but he likes football!....No thanks!"

It would seem as though there is a rediculous expectation of a composite, perfect man that is simply not in existance. He must look like Brad Pitt (women deny looks are important but that's rubbish), have a six figure job, be carreer focused but not too busy to attend PTA meetings, be dangerous and sexy yet show sensitivity at the exact moment to suit her moods yet offer stability and be kind & sincere. At the same time he must not be interested in sports, be even slightly untidy or ever forget an anniversary/birthday.

Guess what, girls. All the perfect guys are having a great time as bachelors or they're marrying 110 lb, blonde, super-model trophy wives. You'll have to settle for reality. See above about my grandmother and do what she did.