Kahanist Singles > Jewish Singles
Is it a good idea to have sex ed?
Dr. Dan:
--- Quote from: OdKahaneChai on December 31, 2007, 02:48:13 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 02:27:28 PM ---
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on December 31, 2007, 02:00:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 01:34:14 PM ---
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on December 31, 2007, 01:30:27 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 08:05:58 AM ---
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on December 30, 2007, 11:11:56 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 30, 2007, 08:04:33 PM ---
--- Quote from: Skippy on December 30, 2007, 07:06:29 PM ---Whoa hold up this is not what that was about. :-\
Its is about the Jewish marriage laws.
And how to remain with in the laws when married.
Not about single people and sex and porno's.
This is about preparing people for that part of their married lives.
Geezzz. ::)
--- End quote ---
Well it's good to follow the halakha when one is married..however, what the husband and wife do in the privacy of their home is not even Gd's business.
--- End quote ---
Resisting the temptation to grill you over what you just said, I have another question for the Love Doctor:
How much does it mean for you to keep the Nidda laws? Would you not mind ignoring this IMPORTANT practice in your own marraige?
--- End quote ---
It is the most important thing!!!!! The Nidda law will be one of those things that will allow for a successful marriage!
Actually the truth is, besides nidda, i don't know what is allowed or not allowed...I dont' want to get explicit on this forum, but it is a relgious question and it is about sex but not necessarily actual intercourse..so i'm being very oblique right now...are there other sexual acts between a consenting husband and wife which are not allowed and those which are permitted?
--- End quote ---
It is also more important because you will go into spiritual excommunication for not keeping the Nidda laws. But yes, G-d's rules do add to a successful marriage.
As for your question on what can and cannot be done between a man and a women, first of all, yes, according to the ruling in the Shulhan Aruch, there are a few limitations, mostly having to do with foreplay (it is still practically mandatory for a man to engage in it with his wife). The minority opinion of the Rambam (in this particular matter) is a lot more lenient with what is permitted (and there are still some limitations that ALL agree on). Nevertheless, he stresses that a couple must conduct themselves with holiness and purity, and not engage in acts that will trivialize or frivol the important and extremely holy act of sex between a husband and wife.
--- End quote ---
I agree with this 100%!!
now when i refer to the privacy of one's home...while it is important to keep the marraige holy and sex etc, still yet, whatever kinkiness, so to speak, that a husband and wife agree on, is between themselves only...
--- End quote ---
These are matters for (believe it or not) a Rav to consider (ideally, but you can also decide this yourself), where it depends on one's level of religious observance, the couple's expectations, and how it relates to shalom bayith. We are supposed to follow the Shulhan Aruch, but if we cannot due to the circumstances, a person has what to rely on. And like I said, there are certain things that all opinions agree must be kept, and you will find these out when you are one day engaged to someone. Once you know the laws, you can make a more educated decision. The "privacy of the home" thing just justifies sodomy, so better to be informed and educated.
As for Taharath haMishpaha, this is a must, not in the least sense an option. I'm glad you are willing to take these laws on. Nevertheless, if one is finding it too difficult, he DEFINETLY should consult a reliable orthodox Rav who can better understand the situation and find a way to fix it.
--- End quote ---
thank you
I will simply say, I will not have sex with my wife (or anyone) when she is menstruating...but hopefully just my wife...
--- End quote ---
There's a lot more to Nidda than that.
And another thing, that several people don't seem to be getting. Everything is G-d's business. You are always before the King of Kings, and must conduct yourself accordingly.
--- End quote ---
It maybe so...however i look at it another way. It's like speeding in a 35 mph zone going 60 mph. Sometimes you get caught and pay a fine. And other times you never get caught. Gd forbid you get into a car accident going that fast in the wrong place also. I liken sinning to this concept. If one acts immorally, even if it is a victimless crime, he/she might get caught and pay the consequences in his life or afterwards...or he may not get caught but might get hurt instead for acting immorally and making his/her life less fullfilling. The Laws of Gd are not meant to make Gd happy or vengeful necessarily. On the other hand, it is for us for our betterment. If we act improperly, it hurts us, not Gd as much.
Kiwi:
--- Quote from: RationalThought110 on December 31, 2007, 12:16:53 PM ---
--- Quote from: Skippy on December 30, 2007, 05:04:50 AM ---SAN FRANCISCO (JTA) n An Orthodox feminist group will train counselors to discuss sex with prospective brides and grooms.
The Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance (JOFA) is recruiting 10 kallah teachers, women who teach betrothed Orthodox women about Jewish marriage law, for a course in which they will learn how to talk openly about sex.
I for one would never attend that :-\
--- End quote ---
Why do you think that course would be bad?
--- End quote ---
Oh I never said it was bad, I think its great for virgin married couples to get pointers, because there many things to learn.
I wouldn't go because one I am not a virgin, two believe it or not when talking about personal sexual matter I am very shy. And I don't even like asking my partner to correct anything or do things :-[
OdKahaneChai:
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 04:17:32 PM ---
--- Quote from: OdKahaneChai on December 31, 2007, 02:48:13 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 02:27:28 PM ---
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on December 31, 2007, 02:00:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 01:34:14 PM ---
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on December 31, 2007, 01:30:27 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 08:05:58 AM ---
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on December 30, 2007, 11:11:56 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 30, 2007, 08:04:33 PM ---
--- Quote from: Skippy on December 30, 2007, 07:06:29 PM ---Whoa hold up this is not what that was about. :-\
Its is about the Jewish marriage laws.
And how to remain with in the laws when married.
Not about single people and sex and porno's.
This is about preparing people for that part of their married lives.
Geezzz. ::)
--- End quote ---
Well it's good to follow the halakha when one is married..however, what the husband and wife do in the privacy of their home is not even Gd's business.
--- End quote ---
Resisting the temptation to grill you over what you just said, I have another question for the Love Doctor:
How much does it mean for you to keep the Nidda laws? Would you not mind ignoring this IMPORTANT practice in your own marraige?
--- End quote ---
It is the most important thing!!!!! The Nidda law will be one of those things that will allow for a successful marriage!
Actually the truth is, besides nidda, i don't know what is allowed or not allowed...I dont' want to get explicit on this forum, but it is a relgious question and it is about sex but not necessarily actual intercourse..so i'm being very oblique right now...are there other sexual acts between a consenting husband and wife which are not allowed and those which are permitted?
--- End quote ---
It is also more important because you will go into spiritual excommunication for not keeping the Nidda laws. But yes, G-d's rules do add to a successful marriage.
As for your question on what can and cannot be done between a man and a women, first of all, yes, according to the ruling in the Shulhan Aruch, there are a few limitations, mostly having to do with foreplay (it is still practically mandatory for a man to engage in it with his wife). The minority opinion of the Rambam (in this particular matter) is a lot more lenient with what is permitted (and there are still some limitations that ALL agree on). Nevertheless, he stresses that a couple must conduct themselves with holiness and purity, and not engage in acts that will trivialize or frivol the important and extremely holy act of sex between a husband and wife.
--- End quote ---
I agree with this 100%!!
now when i refer to the privacy of one's home...while it is important to keep the marraige holy and sex etc, still yet, whatever kinkiness, so to speak, that a husband and wife agree on, is between themselves only...
--- End quote ---
These are matters for (believe it or not) a Rav to consider (ideally, but you can also decide this yourself), where it depends on one's level of religious observance, the couple's expectations, and how it relates to shalom bayith. We are supposed to follow the Shulhan Aruch, but if we cannot due to the circumstances, a person has what to rely on. And like I said, there are certain things that all opinions agree must be kept, and you will find these out when you are one day engaged to someone. Once you know the laws, you can make a more educated decision. The "privacy of the home" thing just justifies sodomy, so better to be informed and educated.
As for Taharath haMishpaha, this is a must, not in the least sense an option. I'm glad you are willing to take these laws on. Nevertheless, if one is finding it too difficult, he DEFINETLY should consult a reliable orthodox Rav who can better understand the situation and find a way to fix it.
--- End quote ---
thank you
I will simply say, I will not have sex with my wife (or anyone) when she is menstruating...but hopefully just my wife...
--- End quote ---
There's a lot more to Nidda than that.
And another thing, that several people don't seem to be getting. Everything is G-d's business. You are always before the King of Kings, and must conduct yourself accordingly.
--- End quote ---
It maybe so...however i look at it another way. It's like speeding in a 35 mph zone going 60 mph. Sometimes you get caught and pay a fine. And other times you never get caught. Gd forbid you get into a car accident going that fast in the wrong place also. I liken sinning to this concept. If one acts immorally, even if it is a victimless crime, he/she might get caught and pay the consequences in his life or afterwards...or he may not get caught but might get hurt instead for acting immorally and making his/her life less fullfilling. The Laws of Gd are not meant to make Gd happy or vengeful necessarily. On the other hand, it is for us for our betterment. If we act improperly, it hurts us, not Gd as much.
--- End quote ---
Ah ha! So why would you want to hurt yourself? In fact, you're not allowed to hurt yourself...
Kiwi:
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on December 31, 2007, 11:36:01 PM ---I have a question for the Love Doctor: When you go to a movie theater, do you by default settle for the empty front row, in one of the far corners?
--- End quote ---
:::D I can see where thats heading ^-^
Dr. Dan:
--- Quote from: OdKahaneChai on December 31, 2007, 07:12:26 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 04:17:32 PM ---
--- Quote from: OdKahaneChai on December 31, 2007, 02:48:13 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 02:27:28 PM ---
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on December 31, 2007, 02:00:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 01:34:14 PM ---
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on December 31, 2007, 01:30:27 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 31, 2007, 08:05:58 AM ---
--- Quote from: There Are No 'Israeli' Arabs on December 30, 2007, 11:11:56 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dr. Dan on December 30, 2007, 08:04:33 PM ---
--- Quote from: Skippy on December 30, 2007, 07:06:29 PM ---Whoa hold up this is not what that was about. :-\
Its is about the Jewish marriage laws.
And how to remain with in the laws when married.
Not about single people and sex and porno's.
This is about preparing people for that part of their married lives.
Geezzz. ::)
--- End quote ---
Well it's good to follow the halakha when one is married..however, what the husband and wife do in the privacy of their home is not even Gd's business.
--- End quote ---
Resisting the temptation to grill you over what you just said, I have another question for the Love Doctor:
How much does it mean for you to keep the Nidda laws? Would you not mind ignoring this IMPORTANT practice in your own marraige?
--- End quote ---
It is the most important thing!!!!! The Nidda law will be one of those things that will allow for a successful marriage!
Actually the truth is, besides nidda, i don't know what is allowed or not allowed...I dont' want to get explicit on this forum, but it is a relgious question and it is about sex but not necessarily actual intercourse..so i'm being very oblique right now...are there other sexual acts between a consenting husband and wife which are not allowed and those which are permitted?
--- End quote ---
It is also more important because you will go into spiritual excommunication for not keeping the Nidda laws. But yes, G-d's rules do add to a successful marriage.
As for your question on what can and cannot be done between a man and a women, first of all, yes, according to the ruling in the Shulhan Aruch, there are a few limitations, mostly having to do with foreplay (it is still practically mandatory for a man to engage in it with his wife). The minority opinion of the Rambam (in this particular matter) is a lot more lenient with what is permitted (and there are still some limitations that ALL agree on). Nevertheless, he stresses that a couple must conduct themselves with holiness and purity, and not engage in acts that will trivialize or frivol the important and extremely holy act of sex between a husband and wife.
--- End quote ---
I agree with this 100%!!
now when i refer to the privacy of one's home...while it is important to keep the marraige holy and sex etc, still yet, whatever kinkiness, so to speak, that a husband and wife agree on, is between themselves only...
--- End quote ---
These are matters for (believe it or not) a Rav to consider (ideally, but you can also decide this yourself), where it depends on one's level of religious observance, the couple's expectations, and how it relates to shalom bayith. We are supposed to follow the Shulhan Aruch, but if we cannot due to the circumstances, a person has what to rely on. And like I said, there are certain things that all opinions agree must be kept, and you will find these out when you are one day engaged to someone. Once you know the laws, you can make a more educated decision. The "privacy of the home" thing just justifies sodomy, so better to be informed and educated.
As for Taharath haMishpaha, this is a must, not in the least sense an option. I'm glad you are willing to take these laws on. Nevertheless, if one is finding it too difficult, he DEFINETLY should consult a reliable orthodox Rav who can better understand the situation and find a way to fix it.
--- End quote ---
thank you
I will simply say, I will not have sex with my wife (or anyone) when she is menstruating...but hopefully just my wife...
--- End quote ---
There's a lot more to Nidda than that.
And another thing, that several people don't seem to be getting. Everything is G-d's business. You are always before the King of Kings, and must conduct yourself accordingly.
--- End quote ---
It maybe so...however i look at it another way. It's like speeding in a 35 mph zone going 60 mph. Sometimes you get caught and pay a fine. And other times you never get caught. Gd forbid you get into a car accident going that fast in the wrong place also. I liken sinning to this concept. If one acts immorally, even if it is a victimless crime, he/she might get caught and pay the consequences in his life or afterwards...or he may not get caught but might get hurt instead for acting immorally and making his/her life less fullfilling. The Laws of Gd are not meant to make Gd happy or vengeful necessarily. On the other hand, it is for us for our betterment. If we act improperly, it hurts us, not Gd as much.
--- End quote ---
Ah ha! So why would you want to hurt yourself? In fact, you're not allowed to hurt yourself...
--- End quote ---
Who says I want to hurt myself?
Sometimes the best way to live is to live it carefully and not take any chances. But what's life just going through the motions?
I'm not suggesting for everyone to try sky diving or para sailing. However, I will suggest that some people need certain types fences to protect themselves. When possible in a 35 mph zone, I will drive 40 mph. Chances are, I won't get hurt or get a traffic ticket.
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