Kahanist Singles > Jewish Singles
Pre-Marital sex. What is your take??
Dr. Dan:
--- Quote from: Rubystars on June 13, 2008, 01:41:14 AM ---Not to get too graphic but you can't know for sure whether someone is a virgin or not simply based on a certain thing being intact or not. It can be broken in many nonsexual ways.
When I hear of the price that "non virgins" have to pay in Arab countries, I always think of a young virgin girl having sex with her husband for the first time, the first man she's ever had sex with, maybe even someone she loves, and everything going suddenly, horrible wrong, with him accusing her of not being a virgin (wrongly) because there's no "blood on the sheets" and no intact you-know-what when he does you know what.
--- End quote ---
Well, with viriginity, I'm not referring to the broken hymen..I'm referring to the psychological aspect of it of "never laying with a man"...or a man never laying with a woman.
Dr. Dan:
--- Quote from: Mishmaat on June 13, 2008, 02:18:14 AM ---Obviously I'm against premarital sex for both moral reasons and for practical reasons. There was a study reported on CNN that indicated that one in four teenage girls have an STD. That is the fruit of a depraved society that encourages "feel good" wanton amoral behavior. The fleeting pleasure you derive from that selfish act of gratifying the flesh just isn't worth it. Are you truly going to be satisfied? Will that lead to promiscuity? Abstinence requires discipline, but many things in life require discipline. I'd rather be a virgin and wait until marriage rather than screw some chick who I'm going to forget in a couple of years.
From our Torah (the ultimate guide for living):
"If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, and lay wanton charges against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say: 'I took this woman, and when I came nigh to her, I found not in her the tokens of virginity'; then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate. And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders: 'I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; and, lo, he hath laid wanton charges, saying: I found not in thy daughter the tokens of virginity; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity.' And they shall spread the garment before the elders of the city. And the elders of that city shall take the man and chastise him. And they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel; and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. But if this thing be true, that the tokens of virginity were not found in the damsel; then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die; because she hath wrought a wanton deed in Israel, to play the harlot in her father's house; so shalt thou put away the evil from the midst of thee" (Devarim/Deuteronomy 22:13-21).
--- End quote ---
In other words two things:
If she lies about being a virgin, and IT BOTHERS THE HUSBAND, he has the right to return her to her father's home.
It might also imply:
If she lies about being a virgin, but it DOESN'T bother the husband, then he has an option of returning her to her father's home.
Remember, this Torah passage has only to do with the husband being disastisfied and not loving his wife. Not if he loves her.
nessuno:
I will try to prepare my child for the world in which she lives.
Arm her with knowledge. A must in this anything goes world. :D
Yet - I will encourage my child to wait until marriage.
She will not get a green light from me ;) on pre marital sex.
A lot of parents I know have accepted it as part of, children, growing up... :D
I think it is more important then that. Maturity and love(maybe marriage) should have something to do with it. Dr. Dan is right.
I'm not sure that she will heed my advice...but that's what it will be.
It seems to me the most moral path to follow...one that could prevent unwanted pregnancy, illness and regrets.
I have a nephew. :-[
He is 18 years old.
He just had a baby. God Bless her.
He has no job.
He does have fancy clothes, a fancy cell phone and an attitude of entitlement.
Great Father material. He wants to know what he's getting for Father's Day. I say a 'beating' might be a step in the right direction. Just kidding.
I think parents better start stepping up to the plate as parents.
We have created a generation of children with no moral compass...and we all are paying the price.
SEX is not to be taken lightly. Think before you act! ::)
nessuno:
...and Yacov - I admire you. Religious and moral beliefs are important. You should be respected for holding true to them.
Dan:
--- Quote from: bullcat3 on June 13, 2008, 09:58:07 AM ---I will try to prepare my child for the world in which she lives.
Arm her with knowledge. A must in this anything goes world. :D
Yet - I will encourage my child to wait until marriage.
She will not get a green light from me ;) on pre marital sex.
A lot of parents I know have accepted it as part of, children, growing up... :D
I think it is more important then that. Maturity and love(maybe marriage) should have something to do with it. Dr. Dan is right.
I'm not sure that she will heed my advice...but that's what it will be.
It seems to me the most moral path to follow...one that could prevent unwanted pregnancy, illness and regrets.
I have a nephew. :-[
He is 18 years old.
He just had a baby. G-d Bless her.
He has no job.
He does have fancy clothes, a fancy cell phone and an attitude of entitlement.
Great Father material. He wants to know what he's getting for Father's Day. I say a 'beating' might be a step in the right direction. Just kidding.
I think parents better start stepping up to the plate as parents.
We have created a generation of children with no moral compass...and we all are paying the price.
SEX is not to be taken lightly. Think before you act! ::)
--- End quote ---
Great post Bullcat!
I said it before so I'll say it again...
'the people that shouldn't be having children ARE and the people that should ARE NOT' that mainly stems form the lack of morality and spiritual guidance. We're in Big trouble if we expect the Next Generation to be the great pioneers that the US once had.
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