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Rubystars:
Muman Joseph's story was always one of my favorites too. Thanks :)

muman613:
I find this explanation of the 'beauty' of Joseph to be very interesting. I hope someone who reads this can see what it is which makes the Torahs explanation of the story of Joseph so critical to our beliefs.

http://www.aish.com/tp/i/moha/48909612.html

The Torah's comments on Joseph's physical appearance are interesting:

Joseph was handsome and of fine appearance.[Genesis 39:6]

This comment is not made in Joseph's youth, or in the most logical context, the first time that he is introduced in the text. Rather, it appears only after Joseph has endured the ridicule of his brothers, sale and enslavement. The simple understanding is that the information is conveyed to explain why he attracts the attention of Potiphar's wife; in other words, it is mentioned where Joseph's physical appearance becomes relevant for the first time. However, the very verse which describes Joseph's looks is the same verse which Nachmanides alluded to above, when he pointed out the instances when Joseph would have had the ability, as head of Potiphar's household, to contact his father:

And he (Potiphar) left all that he had in the hands of Joseph ... and Joseph was handsome and of fine appearance. [Genesis 39:6]

Perhaps there is a deeper meaning to this reference to Joseph's beauty. What is the source of Joseph's good looks? The last person the Torah described as possessing beautiful looks was his mother Rachel:

And Rachel was beautiful and of fine appearance. [Genesis 29:17]

We may therefore conclude that Joseph looked like his mother. In fact both the Midrash and the Zohar allude to this connection.

Rabbi Yitzchak said, "Throw a stick to the ground, and it will land near the place you found it. For it says 'And Rachel was beautiful, and of fine appearance.' Therefore Joseph was handsome. [Midrash Rabba 86]

The Midrash is saying that "an apple doesn't fall far from the tree" and the source of Joseph's beauty was Rachel. The Zohar goes a bit further:

Whenever Joseph would walk by Jacob, he would look at Joseph, and his (Jacob's) soul would be restored, as if he was looking at the mother of Joseph, for the beauty of Joseph was similar to the beauty of Rachel. [Zohar 216b]

There seems no doubt then that Joseph's beauty was inherited from his mother. On the other hand, there are sources which indicate implicitly and explicitly that Joseph looked just like his father!

Rabbi Judah said, "His face (Joseph's) was like his (Jacob's)." [Midrash Rabba 84:8]

The Zohar, seemingly reversing itself, also stresses the resemblance between father and son:

Whoever would look at Joseph would see the image of Jacob. [Zohar 1:180a]

The similarity between father and son gives us insight to the comments of the Sages regarding Joseph's reaction to the seductive advances of the wife of Potiphar:

[When] 'she grabbed him by the clothing ...' at that moment the image of his father appeared to him in the window. [Talmud Sotah 36b]

When Joseph looks in the window he sees his own reflection, which looks just like his father. This is what strikes Joseph and saves him from temptation. If Joseph looked like his father what does it mean that his beauty was the beauty of his mother? Surely the Torah is not speaking about a trait which is only skin deep. Rachel's beauty must also represent some spiritual characteristic.

In a lengthy Midrashic discussion of the heavenly response to the destruction of the First Temple, G-d summons Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, and Jeremiah. Each of these greats offers an argument as to why the Temple should be rebuilt. G-d, however, is unmoved. Then, the Midrash relates, Rachel speaks:

At that moment, our mother Rachel broke forth into speech before the Holy One, blessed be He, and said, "Sovereign of the Universe, it is revealed before You that Your servant Jacob loved me exceedingly and toiled for my father on my behalf seven years. When those seven years were completed and the time arrived for my marriage with my husband, it came to my attention that my father was conspiring to switch my sister for me. It was very hard for me, because the plot was known to me and I disclosed it to my husband; and I gave him a sign whereby he could distinguish between me and my sister, so that my father should not be able to make the substitution. After that I relented, suppressed my desire, and had pity upon my sister that she should not be exposed to shame. In the evening they substituted my sister for me with my husband, and I delivered over to my sister all the signs which I had arranged with my husband so that he should think that she was Rachel. More than that -- I went beneath the bed upon which he lay with my sister; and when he spoke to her she remained silent and I made all the replies in order that he should not recognize my sister's voice. I was kind to her, was not jealous of her, and did not expose her to shame. And if I, a creature of flesh and blood, formed of dust and ashes, was not envious of my rival and did not expose her to shame and contempt, why should You, a King Who lives eternally and are merciful, be jealous of idolatry in which there is no reality, and exile my children and let them be slain by the sword, and their enemies have done with them as they wished!" [Eicha Rabba Intro. Sec. 24]

At that G-d's mercy is touched and He responds:

"For you Rachel I will return Israel to their place." [Ibid]

The beauty and greatness of Rachel is her ability to sacrifice her personal needs or desires for the sake of her sister. Joseph displays this same trait, but only when he is older, in Egypt. At that time he is first able to contact his father, and -- as a result of the self-sacrifice not to do so -- his beauty shines through.

In the words of the Midrash, the reward for Rachel's sacrifice was the building of the Second Temple. What was the reward for Joseph's sacrifice? We have touched upon the idea of history repeating itself through the spiritual forces unleashed by the events of our forefathers' lives. The Jews were destined to be enslaved, and their enslavement was set in motion by the sale of Joseph, by the spiritual dynamic of sinat chinam, "groundless hatred," which later turns out to be the reason for the destruction of the Second Temple. The Second Temple was built upon the foundation of the love and kindness of Rachel, and, when her children ceased to act in a similar way, when hatred became a part of their lives, the Second Temple crumbled to the ground.

Extending this idea further we see that, had the potential of groundless hatred not been created, the Second Temple would not have been destroyed. This is why once the power of groundless hatred had been unleashed on the world by his brothers, Joseph sought to create a spiritual antidote.

A closer look at the original confrontation between Joseph and the brothers will clarify this concept. In the dream, which he related to his brothers, Joseph had seen that they would one day all bow down to him. But the brothers understood that the leader among the brothers, and for that matter of the entire nation, was Judah. Therefore Joseph's claim constituted a capital offense -- treason. The brothers misinterpreted Joseph's dreams as a rejection of Judah's leadership. But Joseph understood that the brothers must rally around him, a son of Rachel, as well as around Judah, son of Leah -- that the power of unity must be established as a spiritual precedent.

When the brothers come to Egypt searching for food, Joseph confronts them. The Torah describes the scene:

Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, and he spoke to them roughly, saying, 'From where have you come?' They said: 'From the land of Canaan, to buy food.' Joseph recognized his brothers but they did not recognize him. [Genesis 42:7-8]

The text is puzzling -- why should the Torah need to tell us twice that Joseph recognized his brothers? We recall that the metamorphosis of Judah took place in Chapter 38 of the Book of Genesis [see Parshat Vayeshev] when 'Judah recognized ...' Now, again, the Torah uses the same words to indicate that Joseph acts with pure motives, that is, "for the sake of heaven".

Joseph continues to interrogate his brothers, accusing them of being spies. In their denial, they reply:

And they said, 'Your servants are twelve, we are brothers, sons of one man from the land of Canaan, the youngest is with our father, and one is missing.' Joseph responded and said, 'That is precisely what I meant when I said you are spies.' [Genesis 42:13-14]

The dialogue is quite obscure. Why is Joseph accusing them of being spies? What is he trying to get out of them? What does he hope their response will be? The answer is remarkably simple: He wants them to admit to "spying," that is, looking for their missing brother. He wants the brothers to rectify their perfidy. The truest repentance will be if they seek out Joseph, and rally around him as a brother, not as a replacement for Judah, but as a son of Rachel.

But the brothers miss their chance, so Joseph creates a second, albeit lesser, opportunity for rectification. If the brothers can rally around Benjamin, the second son of Rachel, they can be forgiven.

This is precisely what happens. Consequently, Benjamin becomes the unifying force in Israel. The Temple will stand in his territory. But this unity is incomplete -- it revolves around Benjamin and not around Joseph -- therefore later the Jewish people will once again become disunited and the Temple will fall, destroyed by groundless hatred.

The laws of repentance describe "complete" rectification as an exact repetition, that is having the same opportunity for sin arise and yet refraining from it.

How is one proved a repentant sinner? ... Rab Judah indicated: "With the same woman, at the same time, in the same place." [Yoma 86b, codified by Rambam "Laws of Teshuva" 2:1]

This did not take place. The brothers did not risk presenting themselves to the Prince of Egypt as spies, searching for their brother, wanting to find him at all costs to rectify their sin. But they did show that they were not capable of the same deed when they refused to sell out Benjamin. Repentance was there but incomplete, and therefore insufficient to eradicate their sin completely. Only repentance involving Joseph himself could have provided the complete antidote for the power of sinat chinam, the groundless hatred, the brothers had unleashed. We can now understand the comment of Rashi when Joseph and Benjamin embrace and Joseph cries on his younger brother's shoulder:

He cried ... [because] the two Temples which will stand in the portion of Binyamin will be destroyed. [Rashi, Genesis 45:14]

Joseph understood that one day the Jewish people will have to rally behind Joseph, not as a substitute for Judah, but as a preparation for the Kingdom of Judah. Apparently, Nachamides' comment that Joseph waited for fruition of his dreams before contacting his father, referred to the creation of spiritual precedents for the Jewish people.

There will be two messiahs one day -- Messiah Son of Joseph, who prepares the way for the Messiah Son of David, himself a descendent of Judah. According to tradition, the Messiah Son of Joseph will unite all Israel in preparation for the arrival of the Messiah Son of David, but will die in the process [Sukka 52a] in an act of self-sacrifice for his people. Just like his ancestor Rachel, whose self-sacrifice allowed the building of the Second Temple, his self-sacrifice will allow the building of the Third Temple. The spiritual model is Joseph, who chose not to contact his father even though it would have made for a "nicer" life.

Joseph the dreamer, the visionary, the interpreter of dreams, saw that which his brothers could not. He dedicated his life to others; he was the great provider for others. He passed on himself a sentence of loneliness, in order that others would have the chance to be redeemed. He was truly beautiful, just like his mother.

Sveta:
Muman, do you still listen to some secular music?
I have a friend who is telling me I have to give up all the secular things that I like and grew up with. Now I am turned off from living a more observant life thanks to my friend.
To give you an example, when I was a kid I would run home to watch old reruns of the 1960s Addams family. And now as an adult I still enjoy watching things like The Simpsons. While I drive, I like to listen to music... mostly 70s classic rock music but modern "post-punk" music as well.
But now according to my friend all these things are negative things that I have to give up for ever.
I though living an observant life would be a happy joyous one but my friend has severely scared me and turned me off from it. I told him that there has to be a way I can balance everything but he says those are all negative influences that I need to stay away from because they will lead me and future children into a bad path. He says that I obviously cannot distinguish between good and bad influences and it's better to just stop liking all these things. He says what he is telling is 100% the Torah way of life and I can't do or like all the things I do and live a Torah life. Worst yet, he is telling me that I have to choose and that I am in danger of throwing everything away because of tv and music.

Am I a bad person for disagreeing with him? I am now confused and scared. How can someone make me choose just like that. I'm afraid the Torah religious way of life is not for me if it is the way my friend is painting it. I might as well go live in a cave and read all night by candlelight (or so it seems).

muman613:

--- Quote from: IsraeliHeart on September 03, 2012, 07:34:49 PM ---Muman, do you still listen to some secular music?
I have a friend who is telling me I have to give up all the secular things that I like and grew up with. Now I am turned off from living a more observant life thanks to my friend.
To give you an example, when I was a kid I would run home to watch old reruns of the 1960s Addams family. And now as an adult I still enjoy watching things like The Simpsons. While I drive, I like to listen to music... mostly 70s classic rock music but modern "post-punk" music as well.
But now according to my friend all these things are negative things that I have to give up for ever.
I though living an observant life would be a happy joyous one but my friend has severely scared me and turned me off from it. I told him that there has to be a way I can balance everything but he says those are all negative influences that I need to stay away from because they will lead me and future children into a bad path. He says that I obviously cannot distinguish between good and bad influences and it's better to just stop liking all these things. He says what he is telling is 100% the Torah way of life and I can't do or like all the things I do and live a Torah life. Worst yet, he is telling me that I have to choose and that I am in danger of throwing everything away because of tv and music.

Am I a bad person for disagreeing with him? I am now confused and scared. How can someone make me choose just like that. I'm afraid the Torah religious way of life is not for me if it is the way my friend is painting it. I might as well go live in a cave and read all night by candlelight (or so it seems).

--- End quote ---

Shalom IsraeliHeart,

I am very sorry for this situation and I am afraid that I cannot really give you the advice you need.

I do listen to secular music and by some standards it is not the most frum music to listen to. Although I have reduced a great deal the amount of secular music and video programming and movies which I watch. But from time to time I still watch some of those old shows. Like you mentioned the Addams family, etc.... I liked the old Mission Impossible and Space 1999 episodes and they are available on the internet.

But I understand that there is something which distracts us from the ultimate goal of our life. While I do study a good amount of Torah every day, and I put in a full day of work, I do find time to watch videos of movies and music I used to like.

My advice is that we should attempt to reduce the amount of secular material we consume. I don't know your relation with your friend but I would hope he could be a bit more understanding that it takes time to make these kinds of life changes, and you must really want to do it, not just to please someone else.

I know that sometimes the 'frum from birth' Jews cannot understand us Baal Teshuva, who are born in a world where Judaism is not lived, who must make these changes which seem foreign to us and our families. I know my mother doesn't quite understand why it is so important for me to observe the Jewish holidays and to identify as a proud Jew.

In a nutshell I recommend you find a good 'Modern Orthodox' Rabbi and ask him what to do. I agree with your friend that it would be optimal to be able to dedicate more of your time and focus on Jewish issues, studying Torah and doing the mitzvot, if you give up some of these entertainments. But we are also required to serve Hashem with joy, not with the feeling of dread. So you must somehow find something which gives you joy. Music is joyous, and you should be able to find some music which is 'kosher'.

I hope your emmunah remains strong no matter what your friend says or does, because I know you are a great Jewess who wants only the best...

Sveta:
Muman, thank you. I don't study enough Torah I admit that. But I'll put a lot of effort into studying more.

I'll talk to my friend and see what we can work out. I feel a lot better now. He's a BT. I am far from it.

Thank you so much.

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