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I wish that I will die today

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Fruit of thy loins:
I went up to the spot today.  It was very breezy - the wind was blowing in the direction of the jump, but I still did not like it.  And as I approached the peak point, I got those butterflies in my stomach - you know how a shy person might feel when they meet someone they have liked for a while or are going for a job interview and feel anxious? - and so I just sat down.  I looked at it from different points to see which bit was the best to jump from - I would hate to jump off and land on a promontory and end up stuck half-way down.  But I saw plenty of good places to jump from.  I prayed to the G-d in the heavens to fill me up with the right spirit.  I recalled all those times that I have been in a house or somewhere and been so overcome with these horrible feelings (which other people mock in real life - they take pleasure in seeing people like me suffer these problems) - times when I really could have just have got up and done it.  But I couldn't do it there.  I tried any number of rationalizations.  In the end I decided it was the wind that put me off.  I didn't know whether to take a running jump or just stand and will myself over the edge.  Maybe if I do it early enough tomorrow morning, even if I did survive somehow, it would take so long for them to find me that I'd die before they got to me. 

mord:
Fruit i really do know blonde girls here in the U.S. within 3 miles [about 4 1/2km's] from my house.I know at least 4 in that area.I live with my brother in a big apt 3bd rms you can stay at my and my brothers house .You can find a blond we'll get you a blond

Scriabin:

--- Quote from: mord on April 25, 2007, 11:40:02 AM ---Fruit i really do know blonde girls here in the U.S. within 3 miles [about 4 1/2km's] from my house.I know at least 4 in that area.I live with my brother in a big apt 3bd rms you can stay at my and my brothers house .You can find a blond we'll get you a blond

--- End quote ---

You're offering to let this person stay with you?  ???

WestCoastJTF:

--- Quote from: Fruit of thy loins on April 25, 2007, 08:49:52 AM ---I've had enough of these anxieties and traumas and unanswered questions. 

--- End quote ---

Dude, go see a shrink and get some meds.  Seriously, you sound depressed and it is pointless to suffer needlessly. 

Wallowing in self-pity is really unattractive.  You are probably only one pill away from a normal life.

Nic Brookes:
Possibly this is in the wrong board... i'm thinking we need a "Fruit comedy" board   :P

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