His picture on all food stamps is pretty funny.
I would like to give him the gift of reaching him reaching a point where he wants to do honest teshuvah with great enthusiasm, and the full power of the American government.
Seeing the act of him repairing each and every single major and minor act, lie, or misdeed which he has committed, supported, or benefited from during the time of his life would be great fun to watch, refreshing, and beneficial to most people on the planet.
After this, he can have some rugalash for Channukah because I don't celebrate Christmas.