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About making aliyah

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Yaakov Mendel:
Shalom,

I have a big personal question for the diaspora Jews on this forum : why have not you made your aliyah ?

Since I ask the question, it is fair that I give my own answer. My main problem, as far as aliyah is concerned, is that my wife is not Jewish and she does not want to live in Israel. Why my wife is not Jewish ? That’s a long story…Without going into detail, let me just say that I grew up in one of those secular families of Jewish descent and I was not raised as an observant Jew. Being Jewish did mean something to us emotionally and in terms of tradition and culture, but there was no religious dimension. I came back to judaism later on in my life, at a time when I was already married – to a wonderful woman by the way, even if she is not Jewish…

Now I have faith and I am an ardent zionist. I would love to make aliyah but things are complicated for me given my family situation. I am absolutely not complaining, G-d has blessed me with a wonderful wife and a wonderful daughter and has let His light shine onto me, so I would never dare complain about anything. But I feel alienated. I know that, as a Jew, I belong in the Holy Land and I feel guilty of staying in Exile instead of living side by side with my fellow Israeli Jews and fighting for Israel alongside them. From where I stand, my contribution can only be minor and I feel bad about it. Hopefully, G-d will help me find a way. It’s going to be hard to convince my Christian wife to make aliyah, though… Damn it !
So, as you can see, in my case, not having made aliyah yet results from a mixed marriage, which, in turn, is the product of assimilation in exile.

P.S. : I probably won't be getting my emails tomorrow so I am sorry if I can't respond to anyone.

muman613:
Yaakov,

I understand your situation completely. I too have a similar story {secular upbringing, etc.} . I also ended up being a rebellious young man and got into all kinds of trouble... Baruch Hashem i was able to overcome all that and about seven years ago I did Teshuva...

I have plans to make Aliyah eventually... After my mother and step-dad have been taken back to Hashem I will be freer to do so. My ex-wife, whom I still am living with, has some issues but she understands that we may end up in Israel within 10 years.

Lisa:

--- Quote ---I have plans to make Aliyah eventually... After my mother and step-dad have been taken back to Hashem I will be freer to do so. My ex-wife, whom I still am living with, has some issues but she understands that we may end up in Israel within 10 years.
--- End quote ---

So are you re-married to your ex-wife? 

muman613:

--- Quote from: Lisa on June 17, 2010, 02:39:23 PM ---
--- Quote ---I have plans to make Aliyah eventually... After my mother and step-dad have been taken back to Hashem I will be freer to do so. My ex-wife, whom I still am living with, has some issues but she understands that we may end up in Israel within 10 years.
--- End quote ---

So are you re-married to your ex-wife? 

--- End quote ---

We are not married... There are some issues I am waiting for her to sort out..

MassuhDGoodName:
Shalom and Greetings, yaakov mendel!

To succeed at making aliyah is extremely difficult, even in the best of circumstances.
Even the Jews from North America and Europe who succeed and remain for the rest of their lives will, if honest, tell you that.
Access the actual figures of Jews who choose to make aliyah and go to Israel - vs - the percentage of them who actually succeed and remain.
The numbers who return to their place of birth are very high -- high enough to be shocking.
I myself made the move and failed many years ago.
I still feel it important to try again and succeed, yet I have no illusions about what awaits me there.
I strongly believe what Rabbi Meir Kahane said so many years ago to be true:
He said that any and all attempts to "sell" aliyah to Jews for any reason other than literal fear of another Holocaust were nothing but fraud, and that only a very real fear of another genocide would make Jews stay in a confined, harsh land of extreme hardship, a 'Middle Eastern' lifestyle and culture, and limited job opportunities.   
Without mastery of the language your chances of material success are quite limited. 
Of course, miracles can and do occur, and some do succeed and are happy with their choice.
However, you should take a good look around every major U.S. cosmopolitan area at all the native born sabras living here, involved in their local Jewish communities, but with no desire whatsoever to return to their homeland.
There was even an official report released last year which stated that none of the official aliyah reps living in the States intended to return home to Israel.
The younger you are when making the move, the easier to adapt, but even that is no guarantee of success.
Of course, it's easy for me to write words and suggestions to you, so consider the source, but perhaps an alternative could work better for you given your present life circumstances:
Consider investing in an apartment home of some sort there, and use it as a family vacation home.
You can rent to others for income while not staying there.
Easier said than done, but a lot easier than failing to succeed at aliyah after living several years or more in Israel.
Easier still, and requiring far less cost and time, would be regular two week vacations there for the entire family - fun in the sun, beaches, see the sights, and perhaps your entire family might soon feel at home there and want to make aliyah.
Last but not least -- if all fails, you yourself can go there alone for regular visits.
Regular visits will also result in invaluable networking with others there.
By all means talk to everyone you know now living there or who ever did live there and get their honest opinions.
Good luck!

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