New phenomenon, Lubavitcher men terrorizing their women

[DownwithIslam]

I know this is going to be a controversial thread but I don't care. I know that I have even expressed support for Lubavitch but I can no longer do so in light of a phenomenon of abuse in Lubavitch which I have been made aware of. Over the years, I had heard many horror stories about the abuse Lubavitcher men expose their families to. I never paid any real attention to it as I never actually saw it happen. Only when I actually saw it firsthand did I take notice. This was a lubavitcher who had grown up in a lubavitch family, it was not one whom they had managed to make religious. He was from the "Cream of the crop." This individual literally starved his family to death. He would take all the money he made and hide it in his private accounts. His wife didn't have a penny in her wallet. She had to try and raise the children on the few dropplings this terrorist threw her way. He did all this even though the lucrative job he had was only his due to the work of his wifes family years back. I can't go into more details because I don't want anybody to possibly figure out who I am talking about. Now on to a case which I will sa names.
The real shocker came when I found out that Rabbi Chaim Osdoba who is on the Beth Din of Crown Heights was involved in this sort of abuse, only worse. This "Rabbi" Chaim Osdoba is a very respected individual in the Crown Heights community. He is recognized as a Halchik authority. What happened was his son, "Rabbi" Levi Osdoba who is the Rabbi of a shul in Belle harbor NY, literally tortured his wife to death. Only when she literally snuck out in middle of the day with her 4 children was this story publicized, albeit not enough. Rabbi Levi Osdoba would beat the crap out of his wife on a daily basis. All the property he owned had only his name on it. Rabbi Chaim Osdoba who again is on the Beth Din of crown Heights, encouraged his son to put the large belle harbor house in which he lived in the fathers name. This was done so the wife could never lay any claim to anything and that if the relationship ended, she would be left homeless. The wife was always seen with bruises and looked beaten down. Many Belle Harbor residents can attest to this fact. Now that the wife escaped form him, This Levi guy is very embarrased and is keeping it a secret because being divorced is very damning for a congregational Rabbi. The father of Perel Osdoba who is Levi Osdobas abused former wife is now working hard to expose this creep long with all his fellow abusers in the Chabad world. This Levi Osdoba is still viewed by some who do not know his true colors to be a "nice" man. Everything I just said is a fact and is easily verifiable by any honest member of the Crown Heights community. If someone denies this story he is a liar. When my sister was in 12th grade in "The Torah Academy for Girls" school, which is a orthodox jewish Girls school in Far Rockaway NY, a speech was given by the teacher to the graduating class. She told them that if any of them were planning on marrying a lubavitcher that they should come see her first. She said she would not publicly talk about Lubavitch but  for the sake of saving these girls lives, she would discuss it with them privately if needed. My sister out of curiosity went over to this teacher and asked her what was wrong with Lubavitchers. The teacher told her that lubavitcher men were famous for doing some of these vicious things which I have written above. She said that she did not want to spread hatred for other jews, but that saving someone from an abusive marriage came first. A few years ago when I heard this, I thought the teacher as a anti semite but in fact she could not of been more correct. I know it is dangerous to generalize but any sane individual who is out in the Jewish world will know that this is way too common in the lubavitch community.

[Trumpeldor]

We have to be careful about generalizations here (see thread title), but that indeed is a shocking story.

I can just see Adam613 having fits reading this.

I do happen to know of a young Lubavitcher woman who is divorced with several kids and despite being divorced for quite some time, she vows to never, ever marry again because of how cruel the man she married was.

[DownwithIslam]

Trumpledor, I know many situations like the on you just mentioned. The ones I listed above were just 2 of the many. Lubavitcher men do indeed abondon their women and then they immediately remarry to lay their hands on another woman. Again, I listed  names and locations of these people so the above story can be easily verified. I know that some shmucks will come on and question it without actually investigating the facts but please don't. I know many of these horror stories because I do have some relatives who are lubavitchers.

[Trumpeldor]

Yes, I know of many cases as well. The ones I listed above were just 2 of the many. Lubavitcher men do indeed abondon their women and then they immediately remarry to lay their hands on another woman. Again, I listed  names and locations of these people so the above story can be easily verified. Please lets not have shmucks come on here and question it without actually investigating the facts.

I don't think people would actually challenge your info, but they would object to you labeling it a "phenomenon".

Personally, I would concede that mistreatment of women crosses religions, cultures, and class boundaries, though in Judaism, I prefer to look at it is as something less than constituting a phenomenon. I do not believe that there is anything endemic in Lubavitcher society that causes these isolated cases.

Perhaps there are sociologists and feminists out there who would disagree with me.

[DownwithIslam]

I can name 100 different lubavitchers who have done this but I chose to relay a story which is highly verifiable due to the fame of the Rabbi involved. I am sorry to tell you this but there are many more abused women in lubavitch than in other sects of judaism. It is a shame because I actually wanted to like lubavitch due to their political stances.

[Trumpeldor]

I can name 100 different lubavitchers who have done this but I chose to relay a story which is highly verifiable due to the fame of the Rabbi involved. I am sorry to tell you this but there are much more abused women in lubavitch than in other sects of judaism. It is a shame because I actually wanted to like lubavitch due to their political stances.

I have no doubt that you can name many such instances.

It may very well be that there are many more abused women in Lubavitch than in any other sect of Judaism. What about percentages? Perhaps, by percentage, there are more abused women in reform/conservative Judaism.

What about all the women who are not abused in Lubavitch Judaism? Why disparage an entire group based on incomplete statistics? How about the fact that anyone who mistreats their wife is a despicable person, their culture notwithstanding? Lastly, why do you tie political stances into the discussion? You can still like all the decent Lubavitchers and their political stances. Should I stop liking conservative Republicans because a small minority have daughters who make whores of themselves on Spring Break?

You clearly believe that Lubavitch culture is lends itself to mistreatment of women. I would challenge you on that premise.

[DownwithIslam]

Look at it from this angle. If Jewish girls schools are warning the 12th grade graduates to not marry lubavitch men, there is something to it. There is obviously a precedent for the warning.

[DownwithIslam]

Bump for important info.

[TorahZionist]

http://www.revava.org/forum/index.php/topic,3668.msg30173.html#msg30173

We were taught at Hadar HaTorah to actually cage our wives and just leave them with a bucket in the middle of the floor. It is official policy of Chabad and many chasonim actually recieve the cherished "cage kit" immediately following the chuppah.

Most Lubavitchers are members of an org. that mandates we moser any Lubavs who DON"T abuse their wives. In our shul there are seruvim, ect against men that refuse to break their wives bones. These pansies are not counted in our minyanim.

"a bruise a day keeps the wife away (until mikva night)"

Sounds like the ideal yeshiva for adam613.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

TZ that was said sarcastically,

I havent really been involved in these forums for some time, but I find it disquesting the slander and lashon Hara that is being spread specifically against Religious Jews, Religious Jewish groups and Rabbis. This has nothing to do with the Kahanist movement, and its pointless and actually negative for the movement in having these types of degrading writings. I believe the moderators should delete and prohibit needless slander, etc.

[TorahZionist]

TZ that was said sarcastically,

I know.
As you haven't been here for a while you aren't aware about the former poster adam613.

[jdl4ever]

The opposite thing happened to my Lubovitcher friend.  His pregnant wife abandoned him with his daughter and went to a different country.  He had to borrow lots of money from relatives to pay the legal fees for international lawyers to get  joint custody of his children. 

[Lubab]

The father of Levi Osdaba who is on the Crown Heights Beis Din's name is Avrohom, not "Chaim". So right off the bat I see you are not being careful with your allegations.

Having grown up in Lubavitch community and having lived in Florida, I've personally never heard of this story or any other story of a Lubavitch man beating his wife. Is it possible this goes on without me knowing? Aboslutely. Are there probably some scumbags that happen to be Lubavitchers? No question.

But before you start labeling something a "phenomenon" with such vile accusations, do your reaserch. You first need to look at how common spousal abuse is in general. See how common it is among Jews. See how common it is among Chassidim. See how common it is among Lubavitchers and compare. Drawing conclusions like this from some stories you know of is NOT a way to get an accurate picture of how great a problem this is.
If this was common among Lubavitchers I can tell you it would be a much bigger story than just being posted here. That's because  Lubavitchers generally go out on Shlichus to variouis communities around the world and live very public lives where all eyes of the community are on them, as opposed to other Chassidim who live in more insular environments.

One thing I can say for sure is that the educational system in Chabad (which I went through) and the teachings and writings of our Rebbe whom we all look up to preach nothing but the utmost respect for women. The Rebbe in many speeches even elevates the status of the woman over that of the man. The Rebbes sichos (speeches) on women are available (even on the internet) and well publicized. My personal Rabbi and most all of the Rabbis I know have some of the most healthy and beautiful marriages I've ever seen and seeing that played a big role in my family becoming Lubavitch in the first place.

The most popular Rabbi Lubavitcher's go to to learn the laws they need to know before they get married is Rabbi Cheiken in Cleveland, OH. I personally went to his marriage work-shop that most American Lubavitchers go to. I was amazed at the respect and love he taught for women. The young men all spent a Shabbat with the Rabbi where you see this put into practice. He treats his wife like a queen and that is not an exaggeration.

This is what is taught in Lubavitch. What is done behind closed doors, I have no idea.

Let's just make sure that before we judge others so harshly and carelessly we are prepared for G-d to give the same kind of scrutiny to our own actions.

DownWithIslam, I assume you are only trying to protect people and not to slander, so for that I give you the benefit of the doubt.

[cosmokramer]

I am shocked some Lubavitcher's treat their women like this. But we must realize that not all Haredi men are like this.

[DownwithIslam]

I am not a Lubavitcher but I have seen this happen way too many times. Truthfully, I posted this when I was in a bad mood and when I heard a relative of mine who married a lubavitcher was forced into massive depression by her abusive lubavitcher husband. I shouldn't of posted something which slandered a whole movement when of course most of the people in it do not do these things. I do apologize for posting this but "Lubab," you can't deny the story that I posted here about Osdoba can you? Ok, so I accidentally confused the fathers name but you know that the story is true. I know the details in this case quite well so there is no way to cover this up. In any event, I do apologize for labeling the whole Lubavitch movement this way.

[DownwithIslam]

If any of the mods would like to delete this thread they can and should. I started this when I was angry over the situation as I have stated in my last post. While unfortunately I have seen this happen many times, it was completely wrong of me to slander an entire group of people when obviously the majority of them don't do this. The story I posted is absolutely true and that "Rabbi" deserves to be publicly exposed. I was wrong though in labeling all lubavitchers that way and for that I apologize. What I wrote was definitely not in the spirit of JTF.

[Mishmaat]

This thread is now locked.