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Parasha Vayeishev : Why Joseph Had to be Sold

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Kahane-Was-Right BT:

--- Quote from: Nazarene911 on December 17, 2011, 06:54:10 PM ---I don't understand why Tamar tricked Judah.

--- End quote ---

Because he made her wear the garments of the widow promising her his third son would be given to her in marriage - but then he neglected to give his third son and she was left a lonely widow.   This is actually in Yehudah's response to her when she presented the signet etc.

He says:  כו. וַיַּכֵּר יְהוּדָה וַיֹּאמֶר צָדְקָה מִמֶּנִּי כִּי עַל כֵּן לֹא נְתַתִּיהָ לְשֵׁלָה בְנִי וְלֹא יָסַף עוֹד לְדַעְתָּהּ:

26. Then Judah recognized [them], and he said, "She is right, [it is] from me, because I did not give her to my son Shelah." But he no longer continued to be intimate with her.


   Also, this entire episode is an allusion to Yehuda (along with the other brothers) having done something wrong with his brother Yosef and the realization they were wrong.  (And if they are not realizing it, at least the reader should be!)  Note the language Tamar uses

כה. הִוא מוּצֵאת וְהִיא שָׁלְחָה אֶל חָמִיהָ לֵאמֹר לְאִישׁ אֲשֶׁר אֵלֶּה לּוֹ אָנֹכִי הָרָה וַתֹּאמֶר הַכֶּר נָא לְמִי הַחֹתֶמֶת וְהַפְּתִילִים וְהַמַּטֶּה הָאֵלֶּה
25. She was taken out, and she sent to her father in law, saying, "From the man to whom these belong I am pregnant," and she said, "Please recognize whose signet ring, cloak, and staff are these?"

And see what the brothers said to Yakov regarding Yosef's tunic earlier in the parsha from Chapter 37

לב. וַיְשַׁלְּחוּ אֶת כְּתֹנֶת הַפַּסִּים וַיָּבִיאוּ אֶל אֲבִיהֶם וַיֹּאמְרוּ זֹאת מָצָאנוּ הַכֶּר נָא הַכְּתֹנֶת בִּנְךָ הִוא אִם לֹא
32. And they sent the fine woolen coat, and they brought [it] to their father, and they said, "We have found this; now recognize whether it is your son's coat or not."

הַכֶּר נָא
is used in both places.  A subtle hint.


I think it's no surprise that an event of misfortune and disgrace upon the brothers (in this case probably the most esteemed brother) happens immediately after the story of how they betrayed Yosef.   Red flags should go off for the reader, and also for the brothers.  I think when Yehuda admits the items are his and admits he was wrong for what he did to Tamar, it is also a hint that he has begun the process of realizing what they did with Yosef was wrong.  And admitting to wrongdoing is the first step in Teshuva.

Kahane-Was-Right BT:

--- Quote from: muman613 on December 16, 2011, 02:27:51 AM ---Indeed they did sin... As this explains:

--- End quote ---

Seems an obvious point, I'm not sure how anyone can argue on that.

Kahane-Was-Right BT:
Also the earlier verse (14) explains Tamar's rationale before she tricks Yehuda, when she is first starting her plot -

"14. So she took off her widow's garb, covered [her head] with a veil and covered her face, and she sat down at the crossroads that were on the way to Timnah, for she saw that Shelah had grown up, but as for her she was not given to him for a wife."

muman613:
We do know that the result of the relationship between Tamar and Yehuda resulted in the lineage of the Moshiach. This is explained in this article :


http://www.tzemachdovid.org/rabbikret/vayeishev_01.html

Yehuda, Tamar and Moshiach

The Torah in Parashas Vayeishev relates the story of the relationship between Yehudah, and his daughter-in-law Tamar. According to the Sages, at the time when Yehudah and Tamar were having relations, G-d was involved with "the light of the Moshiach" (i.e. the messiah) - who would rise from the household of David, stemming from the relationship between Yehudah and Tamar.

How strange! Was it not possible for G-d to bring about the Moshiach through a normal relationship? Why did G-d choose this abnormal and "illicit" relationship as the heritage from which the savior of Israel would eventually come to be? Why not a nice regular yiddishe wedding, with dancing and celebration?

Perhaps this scenario would be more understandable if we realize that G-d operates using the rules of Middah Knegged Middah (a measure for a measure). This means that G-d causes certain events to happen as payback for a person's previous actions. Yehudah was the one who had saved his brother Yosef from the other brothers by telling them to sell him to the Ishmaelites, rather than letting him die in the pit into which they had thrown him. Yosef would eventually end up in Egypt, and his stay would culminate with the enslavement of our people, the Exodus, and the receiving of the Torah at Sinai.

This action on the part of Yehudah eventually resulted in the most significant event in our history. G-d wanted to reward Yehudah for this action measure for measure. Yehudah, however, had no idea that his actions on behalf of Yosef would ever lead to those events. Thus, his reward for that act needed also to come about in such a way, that he would have no idea what would emerge. Moshiach, who represents all that is holy, would be the last person Yehudah would have expected to emerge from his illicit union with Tamar. This was G-d's way of paying Yehudah back measure for measure.

http://www.torah.org/learning/perceptions/5758/vayeishev.html

Parshas Vayeishev
Dreaming of Reality
By Rabbi Pinchas Winston

This is the parsha during which everything breaks loose. As if going back on their word (and destroying Shechem in the process) wasn't enough, Ya'akov's sons saw fit to sell Yosef into slavery and plunge their father into 22 years of mourning. And in the midst of all of this, Yehuda unwittingly became the father of the Moshiach by "accidentally" taking his past daughter-in-law, Tamar, as a wife. There's certainly what to talk about in this week's parsha!

The following midrash provides a brief summation:

The tribes were involved with the sale of Yosef; Yosef was immersed in mournful thoughts about his separation from his father; Reuven was involved with mourning over his sin; Ya'akov was mourning for Yosef; Yehuda was busy taking a wife for himself (Tamar). And the Holy One, Blessed is He, was busy creating the light of Moshiach. (Bereishis Rabbah 85:2)

From this midrash, it seems that everyone was acting out the fulfillment of a master plan they knew about, but yet, were unaware of. But make no mistake about it-every detail, the good ones and the bad ones, were pieces in a puzzle that envisioned a glorious redemption and fulfillment of creation.
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http://www.shemayisrael.com/parsha/orchards/archives/vayeshev60.htm

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In this weeks parsha their are 2 other “wents”. "Yoseph went down..." and "Yehudah went down..." These are also preparations of events for the final days. Yoseph went to establish the Mashiach ben Yoseph, who will fight and pave the way for the Mashiach ben David. Yehudah is taking care of Mashiach ben David. Lot was the forefather of Ruth, the mother of the House of David. The father’s side descends from Yehudah and Tamar.

Yehudah has two older sons and one younger. Now when one is destined to give birth to the Messianic line, the beginning of the end for the Yetser Horah, you can be sure the Yetser Horah is there to stop it. In fact, he succeeded twice. Tamar married Yehudah's firstson who ended up dead for succumbing to the Yetser horah. He died childless. Yehudah tells his 2nd son to perform yiboom. This is when a brother marries the deceased's wife and their child will be a continuation for the deceased. A second chance of sorts. The brother marries Tamar. He also succumbs and dies childless. Yehudah's 3rd son is too young for marriage. Yehudah tells Tamar to "Remain a widow till he is old enough." The Torah reveals to us Yehudah's doubt as to whether he will let his third son marry Tamar.

Tamar waits. Yehudah's wife dies. The youngest son grows up. He is not being given to her. Tamar has to go right to the source of the Messianic line, Yehudah. She hears Yehudah is on a road trip. She dresses like a harlot and waits for him. We know to ask how Yehudah, the man whom G-d deems worthy of fathering the Royal house of David and the Messiah, would consort with a harlot?!?! Excellent question! Put it on hold. Yehudah approaches her. She takes from him his signet, wrap and staff.

Three months later, Tamar whose back at home 'waiting' for Yehudah's youngest is beginning to show. She's carrying twins. It is told to Yehudah. Yehudah judges the punishment for her promiscuity is to burn her at the stake. As they are lighting the fire under her she says to deliver a package to Yehudah which is the property of the man who impregnated her. Yehudah opens the package and says, "She is right. I did it." Tamar and the twins are saved.

Rav Wolfson asks, what's with the dramatics? Why didn't Tamar tell Yehudah it was her after the affair? Or after the sentencing? Or as they were tying her up? Why did she wait until the fire was already at her feet before speaking up? Wait, she didn't speak up! She chose for Yehudah to speak up or she would die with her twins!?! She knows she has kings of Israel in her stomach and she puts all their fate in Yehudah's hands??

We mentioned the concept of self sacrifice, M’sirus Nefesh. No one has a problem with, "Nothing in life is free." This is synonymous with, " You get what you pay for." Everyone heard grampa say at least once, "Listen sonny, I worked for my money!" These are all the most basic forms of m'sirus nefesh. In Judaism, if you want something (whatever it is), if you want it to count, to work, to last, then you have got to give of yourself to get it. It’s just that we Jews want it all. We want it to count forever. We want it to mean something to Hashem and to work for all future generations, to last on into the world to come. Do you think Grandpa would have worked a little harder for that?

It is unbelievable kindness Hashem did for us by giving us m'sirus nefesh as a metaphysically functioning aspect of nature. "G-d, what about my family? My grandchildren?? What's going to be? Could I possibly do anything for my great grandchildren? My community?? My people???" Hashem set it up so we could do something. It will cost but it will be worth it.

Tamar knows m'sirus nefesh. She knows what kind of genes are needy for the monarchy and Mashiach. If Yehudah doesn’t have it, forget it. She sets up the biggest pressure cooker in history. Imagine yourself sitting in front of...EVERYONE! The woman YOU sentenced is being lit, right now. You are given a package. You have a 1/2 second to either embarrass yourself in front of everyone that you were not only wrong but the guilty party OR in another half second all the embarrassment will go up in smoke and you could go on with your life. The first moment is when the survival instincts kick in. The " I should do the right thing" thoughts come next. Tamar did not give Yehudah any 'next'. Yehuda's first reaction has to be the right reaction. Truth, including all the embarrassment. Only the lion, Yehudah could, in a heart beat, say "She is right. I did not give her my son." The Sages say that it was a voice from heaven that said, "I did it." Yehudah would never consort with a harlot so Hashem forced the situation. The m'sirus nefesh of Tamar and Yehudah earned Israel our kings and, soon to arrive, our Mashiach.
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There is much more on this topic...

muman613:
Regarding the Pharoahs Butler & Baker here are some ideas:

http://vbm-torah.org/archive/intparsha66/09-66vayeshev.htm

A CURIOUS CONTRAST

            But all of this is only true from the perspective of Yosef himself.  He proclaims that he is guided mightily by inspiration ("Behold, do not interpretations belong to the Lord?  Tell me please [your dreams]" – Bereishit 40:8) because he feels it coursing through his veins, but the butler and baker may very well believe that Yosef is simply a gifted prognosticator and dispenser of timely advice.  And contained within this charged vignette that vividly unfolds on the morrow of those unsettling dreams, is therefore the story of Yosef's inner journey – the outside observers who witness his successes, namely the warden, the butler and the baker, reasonably ascribe them to his own talents and abilities, while he is incrementally becoming aware that they are actually the product of G-d's providence.  Thus, for example, when Yosef is first imprisoned and his ambition and skill quickly come to the attention of the warden, the latter never sees the hand of G-d in any of Yosef's triumphs.  As the text states:

 

Yosef's master took him and placed him in jail, where the other prisoners of the king were incarcerated, and there he remained and languished.  But G-d was with Yosef and looked upon him compassionately, and He caused him to find grace in the eyes of the warden.  The warden therefore gave over to Yosef all of the other prisoners who were in jail, so that all that they did there was overseen by Yosef.  The warden of the jail could find no fault at all ("meumah") with Yosef's work, for G-d was with him, and all that he did, G-d brought him success (Bereishit 39:20-23).

 

In the above passage, the warden clearly takes note of Yosef's strengths, and the text clearly ascribes those strengths to G-d, but the warden and the G-d-ascription remain disconnected.  In a similar way, the butler and the baker spell out their visions to the young Hebrew prisoner, not because they see him as a Divine emissary but because he has acquired among the prisoners a reputation as a good-hearted and intelligent fellow.  But let us now contrast this report to that which was stated earlier, when Yosef first entered the employ of Potiphar his master:

 

Yosef was brought down to Egypt.  Potiphar the minister of Pharaoh, who was the chief executioner and an Egyptian man, purchased him from the Yishma'elites who had brought him down to there.  G-d was with Yosef and he was a successful man, and he was part of his master's household.  HIS MASTER SAW THAT G-d WAS WITH HIM, AND THAT G-d SHOWERED ALL THAT HE DID WITH SUCCESS.  Yosef found favor in his eyes and he served him, so that he appointed him over his estate and made him overseer over all that was his.  It so happened that from the time that he appointed him in his household and over all that was his, that G-d blessed the estate of the Egyptian on Yosef's account, so that G-d's blessing was upon all that was his, whether in the house or else in the field.  He left all that was his in Yosef's charge and took care of nothing at all ("meumah"), save for the food that he would consume…(Bereishit 39:1-6).

 

The remarkable transformation is now plain for all students of the text to see: earlier, Potiphar was so surprised by Yosef's unusual talents and successes that he could ascribe them to nothing other than Divine intervention!  But while Pharaoh's minister clearly recognized the hand of G-d, Yosef himself remained oblivious.  He went on heaping success upon success without ever taking note of the fact that G-d was involved in the matter.  How else to explain the concluding remark of the above passage, otherwise so filled with G-d references, that: "Yosef was beautiful in form and in appearance" (40:6)!  G-d is there, G-d guides and supports, even Potiphar feels His involvement, but Yosef is blinded by his own accomplishments!   But now, in an ironic inversion, while Yosef feels His inspiration guiding him, the warden, the butler and the baker see nothing.  Yosef excels at prison life and brilliantly reforms its workings for the benefit of all, but the warden can only marvel at his talents without ever recognizing the hand of G-d.  Yosef communicates to the butler and to the baker the word of the Lord but all that they can hear in his measured words are the clever predictions of a soothsayer.  The Potiphar/warden contrast is particularly glaring because it is textually linked by the use of the unusual term "meumah," or "nothing at all":

 
…It so happened that from the time that he appointed him in his household and over all that was his, that G-d blessed the estate of the Egyptian on Yosef's account, so that G-d's blessing was upon all that was his, whether in the house or else in the field.  He left all that was his in Yosef's charge and took care of nothing at all ("meumah"), save for the food that he would consume…(40:6).


The warden of the jail could find no fault at all ("meumah") with Yosef's work, for G-d was with him, and all that he did, G-d brought him success (40:23).


http://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/322903/jewish/Vayeishev-Q-A.htm



"The butler of the king of Egypt and the baker sinned against their lord the king of Egypt." (40:1)

Question: It seems strange that the baker and the butler should both sin against Pharaoh at the same time. Moreover, a fly in a cup of wine which is placed on the king's hand is much more disgusting than a pebble in a slice of bread in the basket. Why, then, was the baker punished more harshly than the butler?

Answer: The butler and the baker both worked for Pharaoh and hated each other. Once, they got into a fight and each one thought of a vicious plan to get the other one into serious trouble with the king. When the butler was not watching, the baker put a fly into Pharaoh's cup of wine. When the baker was off guard, the butler put a pebble into dough from which bread was to be baked for Pharaoh.

To drag the king into their personal quarrel and use him as a means to gain vengeance against each other was a very serious offense. Moreover, since the baker's act would actually have had a worse effect on Pharaoh, he was the one put to death.

"The butler was returned to his position, and the baker was hung in accordance with Joseph's interpretation." (40:22-23)

Question: What clue in their dreams led Joseph to this interpretation?

Answer: Joseph carefully studied their words. The butler said, "The cup of Pharaoh was in my hand; I took the grapes; I squeezed them; I placed the cup on Pharaoh's palm" (40:11). Joseph saw that the butler dreamt about doing things. Since one can only do things if he is alive, Joseph saw in his dream a sign of life.

"The butler did not remember Joseph, and he forgot him." (40:23)

Question: If he did not remember him, obviously he forgot him! Why the two expressions of forgetting: "did not remember" and "forgot him"?

Answer: Joseph originally asked the butler to mention him to Pharaoh. The ungrateful butler, whose life was saved through Joseph's interpretation, did not return the favor to Joseph.

In addition, the Torah tells us that Joseph immediately regretted asking the butler to do him a favor. He forgot about the butler entirely and put all his faith in G-d. Thus, each one forgot about the other.

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