Author Topic: Lucky Horse? (Joke)  (Read 479 times)

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Offline Dr. Dan

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Lucky Horse? (Joke)
« on: January 23, 2012, 02:38:15 PM »
A fellow goes to the races for the first time and decides to look over the
race horses in the paddock before placing his first bet. While there he sees a rabbi standing beside a horse due to run in the first race. The Rabbi is rocking back and forth in prayer.
He notes the number on the horse and for the heck of it puts a two dollar bet to win on the horse. It comes in paying 9-1.
Collecting his money he goes down to the paddock and sees the Rabbi praying over another horse, this one due to run in the next race. He puts all his winnings on that horse to win and again he wins.
By the end of the eighth race his winnings total over five thousand. He decides the ninth will be his last race. He checks which horse the Rabbi is praying over and places all his money on that horse.
This time things are different. The horse the Rabbi was praying over trailed the field, ending up dead last and all the man's winnings are lost.
He spots the Rabbi, runs up to him, and says, "Rabbi, I do not understand. I watched you pray over horses and I bet and won on every horse you prayed over. That is except on the ninth race. I lost all my money on the horse you were praying over."
The Rabbi looks at the fellow and says, "Tell me, are you Jewish?"
The man responds, "Yes. I am Jewish. I am a member of a reform synagogue."
 
The rabbi responds, "That's the trouble with the reformed. They do not know the difference
between a Brocha and Kaddish.


(For those of you who don't understand:  Brocha = blessing; Kaddish = prayer for the dead)
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

"Science without religion is lame; Religion without science is blind."  - Albert Einstein

Offline Rubystars

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Re: Lucky Horse? (Joke)
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2012, 08:42:43 PM »
Any gambler who doesn't know to quit when he's ahead also is being stupid on that count too.

Offline Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks

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Re: Lucky Horse? (Joke)
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2012, 09:27:37 PM »
A "lucky horse" be any one dat not be caught alone in da stable wen a horny negro be out on da town!

Offline Secularbeliever

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Re: Lucky Horse? (Joke)
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2012, 11:57:59 PM »
Two Black guys are walking through Crown Heights and see a group of Chabad Rabbis walk by.  One says to the other
"What do you call them Jews with them Black hats and long side curls"?
"Haasseedim"
"Yeah, I seed em too, but I still don't know what you call them"
We all need to pray for Barack Obama, may the Lord provide him a safe move back to Chicago in January 2,013.