Shalom LKZ,
I apologize for taking so long to reply to your message. I realize that I may have misunderstood what you were saying. If your intentions were not as I perceived then please accept my apology.
Regarding the term 'false tears'... You may be referring to the concept "Because you cried for no reason I will give you a reason to cry.". These tears were not false tears. This referred to the 1st Tisha B'Av when the spies returned with their 'evil' report. The spies had various motives for giving the bad report, and some sages say they had sincere reasons to feel the way they did. Regardless of their reasons, Hashem was disappointed that we lost faith so easily and cried for no reason. As you say Hashem was with us and we doubted his ability to bring us into the land as he promised. This was, and is till this day, a problem with Hashems beloved people the Children of Israel.
The reason we lament the Temples destruction is because we want to re-establish the special bond we had when the Temple, and its miracles, existed in this world. We try to bring ourselves to feel the pain of losing our loved one. We ask ourselves what we did to deserve this treatment, and through this we discover what we can do to improve in the future.
I see this as a love relationship between a man and a woman. In my personal experience with my soul-mate I have come to realize that love transcends all physicality. Today's idea of love does not mesh with the Jewish idea of love. We love because we want someone to give to, not get from. Kindness is a trait which is only possible if there is someone else who needs something and we can provide that in kindness. We do not love because of beauty, or because of riches, we should love the trait we see in our mate and want to sustain it, and grow it, and be a part of the others life.
The Jewish people are likened to the wife of Hashem. In this relationship we are the receiver while Hashem is the giver. This is why Hashem is referred to as a HE, in the male pronoun. Our relationship is also compared to a child to a parent, or a servant to a master, or a citizen to a King. Through these metaphors we can learn how Hashem relates to us, and to his people Israel.
Our crying is not because we want material strength and power, or to be like our 'enemies'. We realize that enemies can only affect us when we are weakened by our own lack of trust and faith in our beloved Hashem. The enemies are only a way of Hashem to wake us from our imagination and fantasy about this world. This world is a world of action, and we are judged by what we say and do, and to a lesser extent what we think. We should be working to bring the world to perfection. The Jewish people were given a Holy Mission by Hashem in the desert. While many Jews are deficient when it comes to doing the mitzvahs, most of them do have good deeds. The Orthodox are trying to live as best we can in the modern world where our values are seen as antiquated. But we do envision a world where the Temple is rebuilt, Jewish unity brings all of Israel back to knowing our father is King, and peace reigns over all nations.
Also regarding self-esteem. Remember that a Jew is constantly walking a line. We are commanded to be humble, as our teacher Moses was the most humble of all men... But we also should not be so humble as to allow others, and other nations, to walk all over us. The key is to know when to be humble and when to stand up for our principles. A wise man knows {as King Solomon wrote} that there is a time for every purpose under heaven.
Topic: Never Forget the Destruction : Tish B'Av Study Videos (Read 12671 times)