HELP! I want to explode! So much terrible news at once! Assimilation Blues

[muman613]

Some Reform Jews are very vocal Israel supporters. Also some of these 'half-Jews' as you call them also are very supportive of Israel. In my community the 'progressive' synagogue which 'Bar Mitzvahs' non-Jews recently had a very public Pro-Israel day which made the local papers.

I am concerned about the continuity of the Torah True Jewish people.

I was so upset about this I spoke with my main Chabad Rabbi about it. He said  that those who assimilate out will be lost, but the only true remaining Jewish people will be those who are Orthodox today. My Rabbi already has five kids and they expect more. Most Chabad families have eight to ten Jewish children who are brought up with Jewish principles and a Zionist outlook. I was given a bit of hope thinking about the future generation of Chabad children...

[Zelhar]

Muman how would you react if you had a child who married out Judaism ?

[muman613]

Muman how would you react if you had a child who married out Judaism ?

This is very difficult for me...

My entire family has married out... I too married a non-Jew (but divorced her shortly before I did my 'teshuva' in 2003). I am 48 (going on 49) and do not have children but hope (by virtue of a miracle) to some day have a son. My brother (who died on 9/11), unfortunately, did have two children with his non-Jewish wife. I have NEVER spoken to my brothers children (its been 12 years) and have effectively disowned them. My mother has claimed that there is a possibility that my brothers wife may have Jewish ancestry, and the boy and girl are being taught about their Jewish heritage... But I still hope that some day they come to me and seek to actually convert to Judaism (their mother is teaching them Irish Catholicism)... I am sure my brother, if he were alive, would eventually return to his Jewish roots but there is no chance of that today.

I would be very, very deeply hurt if I had children today and they rejected their heritage.

[Ephraim Ben Noach]

^" I have NEVER spoken to my brothers children (its been 12 years) and have effectively disowned them."

Maybe you should call them...

[muman613]

^" I have NEVER spoken to my brothers children (its been 12 years) and have effectively disowned them."

Maybe you should call them...

I am afraid I may say something which upset them. My mother celebrated Chanukah with them last year, unfortunately they celebrated it on the wrong date. They had a Pesach Seder but also didn't do it Halachically correctly. I suppose I am also a bit saddened about the entire thing, and that I also married out... I must believe that Hashem had a reason to cause me to do Teshuva at that point (2003) in my life. I had gone through my '3 tragedies'.... Losing my brother in 9/11, losing my job which moved me to NorCal, and then a year later divorce from my wife due to very difficult events.

Anyway, I thank you for your advice.

[cjd]

This is very difficult for me...

My entire family has married out... I too married a non-Jew (but divorced her shortly before I did my 'teshuva' in 2003). I am 48 (going on 49) and do not have children but hope (by virtue of a miracle) to some day have a son. My brother (who died on 9/11), unfortunately, did have two children with his non-Jewish wife. I have NEVER spoken to my brothers children (its been 12 years) and have effectively disowned them. My mother has claimed that there is a possibility that my brothers wife may have Jewish ancestry, and the boy and girl are being taught about their Jewish heritage... But I still hope that some day they come to me and seek to actually convert to Judaism (their mother is teaching them Irish Catholicism)... I am sure my brother, if he were alive, would eventually return to his Jewish roots but there is no chance of that today.

I would be very, very deeply hurt if I had children today and they rejected their heritage.

Not to be insulting but if I were your brothers kids I would not be concerned about you disowning them because they should be the one disowning you... Instead of holding out an olive branch with some hope that they may one day gain interest in their Jewish roots you do the very thing that might push them away forever... It's not their fault that their father decided to marry a Gentile... Hopefully you have some other grievances to go along with the fact that they were born of mix faith relationship... Honestly I believe you might have lost an opportunity to make a big difference in their lives after your brothers passing.

[muman613]

Not to be insulting but if I were your brothers kids I would not be concerned about you disowning them because they should be the one disowning you... Instead of holding out an olive branch with some hope that they may one day gain interest in their Jewish roots you do the very thing that might push them away forever... It's not their fault that their father decided to marry a Gentile... Hopefully you have some other grievances to go along with the fact that they were born of mix faith relationship... Honestly I believe you might have lost an opportunity to make a big difference in their lives after your brothers passing.

Honestly this is a struggle I deal with every day. The primary issue was that my brother and I, while close in our youths, had issues when we were grown. My brother was always the 'good guy' and I was the older brother who would get into trouble. My brothers 'goody-two-shoes' image really bothered me, and in some ways it bothers me to this day.

I suppose I could reach out and show them the reason it is important to maintain Jewish identity. But inside me there is also jealousy for my brother, his success (which eclipses any success I may have made) and his wealth, and his large number of friends (I have been mostly a loner/geek). He had two children, while I have none (due to my own problems in my previous marriage)...

Anyway, I hope that this will be resolved some day... I really feel bad now because I embrace my Jewish identity, am proud of it, and yet I don't have any children to pass this on to. This is one reason I try to teach others about Judaism because the sages have said that a teacher is like a parent, in that the good things he teaches will grow into future generations..

[Ephraim Ben Noach]

I am afraid I may say something which upset them. My mother celebrated Chanukah with them last year, unfortunately they celebrated it on the wrong date. They had a Pesach Seder but also didn't do it Halachically correctly. I suppose I am also a bit saddened about the entire thing, and that I also married out... I must believe that Hashem had a reason to cause me to do Teshuva at that point (2003) in my life. I had gone through my '3 tragedies'.... Losing my brother in 9/11, losing my job which moved me to NorCal, and then a year later divorce from my wife due to very difficult events.

Anyway, I thank you for your advice.

  I'm going to bust your balls on this. You lost your brother, they lost their dad and their uncle. It sounds like to me that they are interested in Judaism. If you don't get over you, you may loose two more future Jews and your fathers bloodline, and so does HaShem...

[Rubystars]

A lot of these polls are probably counting a lot of people that aren't Jewish, as others in this thread pointed out already. There are a surprising amount of people who would define themselves as Jewish who aren't Jewish according to the actual Jewish religion. The thing is when someone does a poll then they usually will take someone's word for it if they say they are Jewish.

There was a family that used to live across the street from me. I think the father of the family might have actually been Jewish, but his non-Jewish wife and daughter claimed that they were Jewish because the woman had married him (but not actually gone through an orthodox conversion), and the daughter had been raised to think of herself as Jewish even though her mother was not Jewish.

There are also a lot of "converts" into the reform movement that consider themselves to be Jewish but are not.

[muman613]

  I'm going to bust your balls on this. You lost your brother, they lost their dad and their uncle. It sounds like to me that they are interested in Judaism. If you don't get over you, you may loose two more future Jews and your fathers bloodline, and so does HaShem...

I will try to consider this... It is not something I can just pick up and do... Very deep issues...

[muman613]

A lot of these polls are probably counting a lot of people that aren't Jewish, as others in this thread pointed out already. There are a surprising amount of people who would define themselves as Jewish who aren't Jewish according to the actual Jewish religion. The thing is when someone does a poll then they usually will take someone's word for it if they say they are Jewish.

There was a family that used to live across the street from me. I think the father of the family might have actually been Jewish, but his non-Jewish wife and daughter claimed that they were Jewish because the woman had married him (but not actually gone through an orthodox conversion), and the daughter had been raised to think of herself as Jewish even though her mother was not Jewish.

There are also a lot of "converts" into the reform movement that consider themselves to be Jewish but are not.

yes, the reform and 'progressive' movements have really messed up the question of 'who is a Jew'...

My Rabbi counts them as lost already. Within a generation they will no longer associate with the Jewish people.