For the Jews: What is your 'secret job'?

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

guys quite with the joking around, their might be morons scrolling the forum who will actually believe you.

The only people falling into that category would be wearing tinfoil hats.

their are many jew haters out their who would and do believe this crap.

[Tzvi Ben Roshel1]

i secretly am planning the downfall of esav (rome)... nik. out... shhh!!!!

You can have esav YSV, Ill take down Ishmael.

[Ehud]

I work part time with AIPAC to subvert American interests and make it easier for us to take control of the country. I also have a full time position as a money lender with a member bank of the Federal Reserve. The bulk of my salary comes from the high interest charged on loans. See you at the 9/11 party Od!

Actually, this one sounds totally plausible. (as interpreted by Nazis) Excepting the 9/11 party of course.

[newman]

i secretly am planning the downfall of esav (rome)... nik. out... shhh!!!!

Don't make it tougher on me, nik!

Where am I going to get the hosts from if you do that?

[OdKahaneChai]

I work part time with AIPAC to subvert American interests and make it easier for us to take control of the country. I also have a full time position as a money lender with a member bank of the Federal Reserve. The bulk of my salary comes from the high interest charged on loans. See you at the 9/11 party Od!

You'll be there?  Great!  Can you do me a favor - can you bring some hamantashen with Syrian childrens' blood?  I think that's all we need.  Oh, hold on - I need to go opress some "Palestínians."

[nikmatdam]

guys quite with the joking around, their might be morons scrolling the forum who will actually believe you.

The only people falling into that category would be wearing tinfoil hats.

their are many jew haters out their who would and do believe this crap.

i'm not kidding... i am seriously involved in this... well now my secret is out... so i guess i'm doing this openly now... nik.

[newman]

The Gibsons spilled the beans a while back. The Joo Media Conglomerate had to put out this story as a ruse 'til it blue over:

Jews Give Up World Control
Mel Gibson’s Father Convinces Jews To Give Up World Control
By Dan Barash
Mar 25, 2004, 08:30

Bowing to intense pressure from Mel Gibson’s father, Jews announced today that they would no longer control the world. In a press release, Jews stated, “Although we have thoroughly enjoyed the challenges of world domination for the last 300 years, we feel it's time for gentiles to take control of their own affairs. We plan to spend more time with our families and pursue other interests.”

Hutton Gibson stated he was pleased with the announcement, but expressed concern he was losing a scapegoat for all of his problems. He said he would be launching a search for a new minority group to demonize.

Many Jews expressed relief that they could give up burdensome responsibilities. Retired accountant Jerry Friedman, who controls all media in Montana, said, “I would just as well let the citizens of Montana manage their own TV and newspapers. Don’t get me wrong, Montana is a fine state. But it gets awfully cold, and there’s nowhere to get a good bagel.”

Attorney Allen Franks said he's glad he no longer has to manage Bulgarian monetary policy. “It was getting to be quite a hassle,” he said. “I already have a full time job and can’t even balance my own checkbook, let alone control the finances of an entire nation.”

Homemaker Judith Levine said she would “...miss the hustle and bustle of setting the international price for magnesium every day. But my son is about to be Bar Mitzvah'd, and oy! Such a party we're gonna have you wouldn't believe!”

Hollywood producer Sidney Greenbaum was pessimistic about the announcement. “Do you really think goyim know how to make movies?” he asked. “They'll all end up being high budget, technicolor snuff flicks if you leave things up to Mel and his kind.”

Comedy experts expressed concern that the business would suffer if Jews suddenly withdrew. According to one insider, “Take away all the Jewish comics and writers, and all you have left is Carrot Top. That’s not a world I want to live in.”

A potluck dinner in honor of Jews contributions to mankind will be held at the Hoboken Holiday Inn on April 3. All gentiles are welcome to attend. Participants will be encouraged to share an an offensive Jewish joke.

[JewishTeddyBear]

Wow, such imaginative, creative, witty responses, that I do not feel up to the task of equaling any of you. 
hmmmm, let me see....I pretend to be an overeducated, overweight, underemployed, underconfident man with virtually no energy to actually get anything done, but the real truth is, that I am working with top Israeli explosive experts to blow up every mosque and every koran publishing house on Earth.  These experts have designed a system whereby it will take faster to blow up the ka'aba stone then it took to destroy sodamn insane's nuclear reactor 25 years ago (less than ninety seconds). 
but my secret of all secret plans, is to cause all of the antisemites of this world to beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.  the antisemites will not lift up sword against us Jews, and neither shall they learn war anymore.

[genteelgentile]

If my Jewish Masters could be so kind, could I humbly request that you get my roads fixed.  Too many potholes make it harder to get my vehicle around to do your bidding.  thank you!

[newman]

You wanna complain.

On top of bleeding christians for Passover matzot and stealing communal hosts for desecration, I'm also the horn barber at the schull.

I have to file the Jews horns for them once a month so they can be inconspicuous as they dominate the world.

How about some of you other noachide henchmen lightening my load?

[HiWarp]

I am one of the brainwashed gentiles who fly the black helicopters.  I can't really say anything more because my Jewish masters have implanted a chip in my head and if I divulge too much information, my head will explode.

[JewishTeddyBear]

Hey, can I tell you a true story about Jews having horns in our heads?  My oldest brother, David, works at RiteAid, which used to be Thrifty.  For those of you living in southern California, you will have heard of these stores.
Well, anyway, this man from the deep south moved to Los Angeles, and was hired to work at what was then Thrifty.  When he found out my brother is Jewish, he was shocked.  He said, "How can you be Jewish?  Where are your horns?"  He genuinely thought that Jews really do have horns.
People like to blame Michelangelo for starting this crazy rumor.  Mistranslating a Hebrew phrase meaning Divine Light, he thought that horns, rather than that light, was emanating from the forehead of Moses.  And so, since then, people have thought that Jews have horns.
But think about it.  Are people really that stupid?  Does it take a scientist to realize that we Jews cannot possibly have horns?  The truth of the matter is, antisemites will find any excuse they can to hate us Jews.  Had Michelangelo never made that mistake in translation, the antisemites would have simply found some other way to hate us Jews.  That is just the nature of the deepest, most enduring, most irrational hatred in the history of mankind.

[ftf]

Hey, can I tell you a true story about Jews having horns in our heads?  My oldest brother, David, works at RiteAid, which used to be Thrifty.  For those of you living in southern California, you will have heard of these stores.
Well, anyway, this man from the deep south moved to Los Angeles, and was hired to work at what was then Thrifty.  When he found out my brother is Jewish, he was shocked.  He said, "How can you be Jewish?  Where are your horns?"  He genuinely thought that Jews really do have horns.
People like to blame Michelangelo for starting this crazy rumor.  Mistranslating a Hebrew phrase meaning Divine Light, he thought that horns, rather than that light, was emanating from the forehead of Moses.  And so, since then, people have thought that Jews have horns.
But think about it.  Are people really that stupid?  Does it take a scientist to realize that we Jews cannot possibly have horns?  The truth of the matter is, antisemites will find any excuse they can to hate us Jews.  Had Michelangelo never made that mistake in translation, the antisemites would have simply found some other way to hate us Jews.  That is just the nature of the deepest, most enduring, most irrational hatred in the history of mankind.

It isn't really impossible for a Jew to have horns, they'd just need a supply of plastic horns and super glue.

[cjd]

Hey, can I tell you a true story about Jews having horns in our heads?  My oldest brother, David, works at RiteAid, which used to be Thrifty.  For those of you living in southern California, you will have heard of these stores.
Well, anyway, this man from the deep south moved to Los Angeles, and was hired to work at what was then Thrifty.  When he found out my brother is Jewish, he was shocked.  He said, "How can you be Jewish?  Where are your horns?"  He genuinely thought that Jews really do have horns.
People like to blame Michelangelo for starting this crazy rumor.  Mistranslating a Hebrew phrase meaning Divine Light, he thought that horns, rather than that light, was emanating from the forehead of Moses.  And so, since then, people have thought that Jews have horns.
But think about it.  Are people really that stupid?  Does it take a scientist to realize that we Jews cannot possibly have horns?  The truth of the matter is, antisemites will find any excuse they can to hate us Jews.  Had Michelangelo never made that mistake in translation, the antisemites would have simply found some other way to hate us Jews.  That is just the nature of the deepest, most enduring, most irrational hatred in the history of mankind.

Many years ago I went to Florida by car and back then you still had to drive through some of the small towns in places where I-95 was still not in place. Some of the the things I saw and situations I had with the people left this New Yorker with some interesting stories to tell the folks when I got back home. Its not that the people were stupid or slow but it was hard to keep a straight face when people came up with some of the stuff they thought was the case. Today most people blow right through them towns on the interstate. In a way its sad because I learned a lot about what people thought by meeting the folks when I stopped to eat or see an attraction.
JewishTeddyBear thanks for sharing that story about Michelangelo and Moses. I have seen pictures of the statue of Horned Moses by Michelangelo  and have been trying for years to figure out why he gave him horns. No place is ever a reason given. I chalked it up to antisemitism of times back then however I think you have found the correct answer to why this statue was made this way. You are also correct that this was a mistake in translation and it has had  ramifications over the years.

[mord]

My Jewish job is seasonal i work for some of better matzo companys and supply them with childrens blood for the matza i get paid very handsomely

[New Yorker]

Well, I'm a freelance IT consultant/computer support specialist, but apparently I'm also part of the Cabal of bankers in control of the New World Order, unfortunately my invitation to the secret meetings was lost in the mail so I never got the number to my secret Swiss bank account with my share of the billions of dollars, also I think I was supposed to secretly pull the strings behind many of the current world leaders. but again, because of missing the meeting... sigh.   

[Daniel]

All we ever seem to hear about from the WN, StørmFrønt, anti-semite whackos is all the control Jews have over the world and how they manipulate every single thing that happens every minute of the day.

It seems to me that all the Jews I know are working away at very ordinary jobs and running their small businesses as a 'front' while they manipulate currencies, set the gold price, topple governments and run this giant conspiracy.

Therefor, could all the Jewish members please post their 'secret job' that they do behind the scenes while they work at their 'front' jobs or businesses?

I operate and distribute the machines that combine the blood of Christan children into matzo. I'm also part of a massive Zionist media conglomerate which conspires to obscure all the news and give complete media control over to Israel. Oh yeah, and last but not least, I'm the owner of a giant Zionist banking system which is conspiring to suck all the money from everyone else in order to fulfill our master plan for world domination.

[nikmatdam]

now that my secret is out i can tell everyone that the job is nearly complete and that it is just a matter of time... a short while and edom will come crashing down... stay tuned... same bat-channel... same bat-time... nik. out...

[mosquewatch]

I am a Christian. But at night I turn into a "evil Zionist" . I take my Jewish weather machine and create hurricanes and attack myself. ( Sarcasm off )

[Daniel]

I am a Christian. But at night I turn into a "evil Zionist" . I take my Jewish weather machine and create hurricanes and attack myself. ( Sarcasm off )

Especially if you get fed after midnight

[mosquewatch]

My baby picture

[Daniel]

My baby picture

Haha, good one!

[newman]

That's what happens when they put moonshine in the baby bottle. 

[Daniel]

That's what happens when they put moonshine in the baby bottle!

Speaking from experience?

[Ari]

I must admit, I do play a part in controlling the Federal Reserve and the World Banks as well.  Oh well, it was bound to come out sooner or later.