I simply don’t trust

[Hrvatski Noahid]

https://hesedyahu.wordpress.com/2019/10/09/i-simply-dont-trust/

The fact is that I don’t trust “the experts.”

It’s that simple.

Ok, article over. Bye.

…

Ok. Let me ramble to myself some more.

Some would say I have a rebellious streak. Yet, at times, I see myself simply as a soldier not a general, a simple actor and not the planner. But then again, although I can work like a slave, I keep a watchful eye on the master (“employer”) and a skeptical mind about his promises.

I have been misled by many a so-called “expert”. Scientists, teachers, preacher, those who have claimed to have studied the subjects have led me into deception and I was deceived. Those who should have known better … those who I thought should have know better betrayed my trust.

It’s terrible. It’s one thing to know you’ve been deceived. But then to know somewhat how deep the deception goes, as if the rot is core-deep, it robs my feet of any grounding.

Then I come to the Jewish quarters where the experts are now called rabbis, and there’s an expectation to trust them, to simply follow the teachings of one because he becomes “the authority.” And yet not only do they seem to disagree with the earlier documents, they disagree among themselves. Do you really think I’m gonna find any one of them, at least the modern ones, as a place of stability after my history? After looking at their own disagreements? Do you really think telling me to trust one and pretend the commotion doesn’t exist is really gonna work???

I know. I know I have to trust something, and I know what my foundations are. But don’t ask me to trust some more experts! I just don’t think it can happen. I can listen and take on board what is said, but then I have to test it.

But then I’ve also failed myself. I was deceived. So how can I trust myself? Now that’s the question. Isn’t it better then to trust the experts based on the knowledge that I have failed? No. That’s just an argument to trust no one and nothing, since it all fails. But that is unrealistic, unlivable. My mind is the tool God has given me; everything goes through it. If it can’t be trusted, then what good is using that mind to choose to depend on a rabbi?

There has to be a foundation. God is that foundation. And I can trust his prophets, those that more directly commune with him. But rabbis aren’t prophets. But they have a heritage in Torah, in God’s law, and its deeper study. But that experience is still primarily God’s law for Jews as they are Jews. But that divine teaching includes the law for Gentiles. So I can’t wholly rubbish them and cast them aside. But I also don’t have to buddy-buddy with them as if I always need a rabbi-in-my-pocket, as if I can’t know right from wrong without consulting one of them, as if their word is law, because it isn’t and it can’t be. Once the basic seven are given over, then they are only advisors, references, nothing more.

Yes, I said this is a personal ramble.