JTF.ORG Forum
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: mord on October 16, 2008, 12:16:57 PM
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A friend of mine was shopping at the local supermarket where she
selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out,
a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, 'You must be single.'
She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition, since she is indeed single. She looked at the
six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her
selections. Nothing, she thought, that could have tipped off the drunk
as to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, 'Well, you know
what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly :::D :::D :::D
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OH THAT IS NOT NICE :::D
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OH THAT IS NOT NICE :::D
:::D :::D :::D
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:::D That's a good one! :::D
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:::D :::D :::D :::D
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That was really mean.... >:(
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:laugh:
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I admit it, it made me laugh. :laugh:
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NOT FUNNY.
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:laugh: ;D :laugh: ;D :laugh: ;D :laugh: ;D
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:laugh: ;D :laugh: ;D :laugh: ;D :laugh: ;D
what's so funny? some falling down drunk crashing into a woman in line with a cart and verbally abusing her. there is something mentally wrong with you. what do you look like? probably a disaster :laugh:
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To me the humor's in the misdirection.
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I didnt get it.
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I didnt get it.
me either.
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I didnt get it.
1. The joke is set up to where you expect the punchline to be some witty deduction about the items she bought, but it's not, it's something completely different, the surprise and misdirection is one element, especially the bluntness of it.
2. When people drink the cliche is that they usually think people look prettier than they really do, which means she must really be ugly.
It's mean but to me it's still funny. It wouldn't be funny if it happened in real life though.
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You need a better sense of humor :P
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:teach: That's not nice...but it was funny. :::D
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You need a better sense of humor :P
I've got a great sense of humor.....
Someone else told me this week I should do stand up comedy....
:::D
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You need a better sense of humor :P
I've got a great sense of humor.....
Someone else told me this week I should do stand up comedy....
:::D
Who told you that? :o
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You need a better sense of humor :P
I've got a great sense of humor.....
Someone else told me this week I should do stand up comedy....
:::D
I'm not gonna say...... :P
Who told you that? :o
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You need a better sense of humor :P
I've got a great sense of humor.....
Someone else told me this week I should do stand up comedy....
:::D
I'm not gonna say...... :P
Who told you that? :o
Why no friends?
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Is there any relationship between a sense of smell and a sense of humor? Maybe when the joke stinks?
muman613
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You need a better sense of humor :P
I've got a great sense of humor.....
Someone else told me this week I should do stand up comedy....
:::D
I'm not gonna say...... :P
Who told you that? :o
Why no friends?
Yes, I have a few friends......(I think)... :laugh:
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A friend of mine was shopping at the local supermarket where she
selected:
Great joke, I've mailed it to friends, but can't locate mainestategop.
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We need a joke forum.. I don't think this website needs endless jokes on the General forum, unless of course they are Arab, Muslim or Obama jokes. Just my opinion.
Good joke though, even though it was cruel. ;D
Heres some good jokes that belongs on a Jewish forum, IMO:
Arab Joke #1
Q: How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Arabs just sit in the dark and blame it on the jews.
Arab Joke #2
During the 7-day Arab-Israeli war, the opposing armies were camped extremely close to one another on the first night of the war. One Israeli yelled out: "Hey Abdul, are you there?"
On the Arab side, Abdul stood up and said "Yeah?" The Israelis took out their machine guns and mowed down Abdul.
The second night, another Israeli yelled out, "Hey Mohammed, are you there?"
On the Arab side, Mohammed stood up and said "Yeah?" The Israelis took out their machine guns and mowed down Mohammed.
On the third night, the Arabs got smart. One of them yelled "Hey Moshe, are you there?"
The Israelis yelled back, "No, Moshe isn't here but is that you, Achmed?"
Achmed stood up and said "Yeah?" and the Israelis took out the machine guns and mowed down Achmed.
Arab Joke #3
US tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, "I'll give you 100 camels for your woman."
After a long silence, the husband says, "She's not for sale."
The indignant wife says, "What took you so long to answer?"
The husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."
Obama Joke #1:
Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.
“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know sh*t?”
Obama Joke #2:
Obama keep preaching about change. Do you know what that means? C.H.A.N.G.E. Come Help A "[censored]-gah" Get Elected.
Obama/Clinton Joke #3:
John McCain, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton are on a ship in the Persian Gulf. The ship hits a mine and begins to sink. McCain says: "Women and children first." Obama says: "F*** the women." Clinton says: "Do we have time?"
Obama Joke #4
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Obama Joke #5
Q. Why doesn’t Barack drink Pepsi?
A. He thinks that things go better with coke.
Obama Joke #6
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama.
Obama Joke #7
Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Jimmy doesn’t want to be the worst President in history.
Obama Joke #8
Q. Why will Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
:laugh: :laugh:
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We need a joke forum.. I don't think this website needs endless jokes on the General forum, unless of course they are Arab, Muslim or Obama jokes.
Judging by the above, we'd need separate racist and sexist forums
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We need a joke forum.. I don't think this website needs endless jokes on the General forum, unless of course they are Arab, Muslim or Obama jokes.
Judging by the above, we'd need separate racist and sexist forums
:o Over doing political correctness is what is bringing about the demise of this once great country. :P
I don't think we need endless jokes on any topic...but a laugh now and then is required. :::D
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I still dont get the first joke.
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We need a joke forum.. I don't think this website needs endless jokes on the General forum, unless of course they are Arab, Muslim or Obama jokes. Just my opinion.
Good joke though, even though it was cruel. ;D
Heres some good jokes that belongs on a Jewish forum, IMO:
Arab Joke #1
Q: How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Arabs just sit in the dark and blame it on the jews.
Arab Joke #2
During the 7-day Arab-Israeli war, the opposing armies were camped extremely close to one another on the first night of the war. One Israeli yelled out: "Hey Abdul, are you there?"
On the Arab side, Abdul stood up and said "Yeah?" The Israelis took out their machine guns and mowed down Abdul.
The second night, another Israeli yelled out, "Hey Mohammed, are you there?"
On the Arab side, Mohammed stood up and said "Yeah?" The Israelis took out their machine guns and mowed down Mohammed.
On the third night, the Arabs got smart. One of them yelled "Hey Moshe, are you there?"
The Israelis yelled back, "No, Moshe isn't here but is that you, Achmed?"
Achmed stood up and said "Yeah?" and the Israelis took out the machine guns and mowed down Achmed.
Arab Joke #3
US tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, "I'll give you 100 camels for your woman."
After a long silence, the husband says, "She's not for sale."
The indignant wife says, "What took you so long to answer?"
The husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."
Obama Joke #1:
Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.
“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know sh*t?”
Obama Joke #2:
Obama keep preaching about change. Do you know what that means? C.H.A.N.G.E. Come Help A "[censored]-gah" Get Elected.
Obama/Clinton Joke #3:
John McCain, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton are on a ship in the Persian Gulf. The ship hits a mine and begins to sink. McCain says: "Women and children first." Obama says: "F*** the women." Clinton says: "Do we have time?"
Obama Joke #4
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Obama Joke #5
Q. Why doesn’t Barack drink Pepsi?
A. He thinks that things go better with coke.
Obama Joke #6
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama.
Obama Joke #7
Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Jimmy doesn’t want to be the worst President in history.
Obama Joke #8
Q. Why will Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
:laugh: :laugh:
:laugh: those are great Areyeh
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I like the one about C.H.A.N.G.E. ;D :laugh:
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I still dont get the first joke.
All I know is the guy told the woman that she was too ugly that was why she was not married....