Poll

Can a promiscuous girl be reformed?

Yes.
23 (60.5%)
No.
7 (18.4%)
I'm not sure.
8 (21.1%)

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Offline Ari

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Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« on: October 21, 2007, 07:23:50 PM »
This girl appears to be interested in me.  She's Jewish and quite attractive, but I fear she has had a rather promiscuous past.  Do you think this is something I can overlook?  I'm probably going to turn her down because of this as I can't get it out of my mind.  Any help would be appreciated.  Hope all is well with everyone in the forum.
« Last Edit: October 21, 2007, 07:43:49 PM by takebackourtemple »
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Offline jdl4ever

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2007, 07:27:20 PM »
Almost anyone can repent.  See if she indeed changed. 
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Offline jdl4ever

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2007, 07:30:47 PM »
I wouldn't date her either but if you have a hard time finding someone then if she repented and you like her then don't let her get away. 
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"Enough weeping and wailing; and the following of leaders & rabbis who are pygmies of little faith & less understanding."
"I believe very much in a nation beating their swords into plowshears but when my enemy has a sword I don't want a plowshear"
-Rabbi Meir Kahane Zs'l HYD

kellymaureen

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2007, 07:34:07 PM »
Even if shes repented, I guess the question you need to ask yourself is could you ever trust her or will her past always be on your mind ;)  Without trust there cant be a relationship.
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Offline Ehud

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2007, 07:35:42 PM »
How do you know she has had a promiscuous past?  Are you assuming this or basing it off what she has told you or what you have heard.  If she was with you, she wouldn't be promiscuous, but that wouldn't really mean that she's "reformed".  Would it matter though as long as she wasn't sleeping around with other people while you are together? 

If she's attractive and a nice person and you guys get along, why let that she's had a promiscuous past get in the way of what could be a good relationship?  There's much more to a woman than the condition that her XXXXX is in. 

I suppose if you absolutely can't get it out of your mind that she's slept around then you should not get involved with her. 

If you're really concerned about it, why not talk to her about it to ease your worrying?

Also, just because a girl is a slut doesn't mean that she will necessarily cheat on you.  There are some sluts that are faithful when they have boyfriends but sleep around a lot when they don't.  Sluts would be more likely to cheat on you though, but anyone has the potential to cheat on you, you should examine her character for the best indication of that I think.

Sounds like you need to have a good talk with her.  The issues you have are going to remain unresolved after getting people's opinions on the forum.
« Last Edit: October 21, 2007, 07:37:42 PM by Ze'ev Jabotinsky »
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Offline Zvulun Ben Moshe

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2007, 07:42:43 PM »
Not advisible on both personal and societal levels.

If you, me, others forgive them, tomorrow other girls will think it is ok to f**k around.

It is not easy to be Jewish, you know...
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Offline nessuno

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2007, 07:48:20 PM »
I think the poll question should be reformed  :o
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OZ77

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2007, 07:51:38 PM »
when I was young and stupid I dated a girl who did everything in the book by the time she was 15 (I won't go into details),
I met her at the army, she had sort of a "reputation" there, well.. again no details, sorry.

anyway 3 years later by the time I was fresh out of the army, I saw her one day on tel-aviv fishing for clients on one of the main streets,
she saw me and tried to hit on me, even though I was really young and stupid at those days, for some reason
I didn't take advantage of her, she looked so helpless and fragile, I sat with her at an all night coffee shop,
and by the time the sun came up we were on our way to the addicts center,
I would visit her sometimes, and bring her some torah lectures by rabbi Amnon Yitzchak,

Today B"H she's married to a young Avrech, she has 4 kids and one on the way,
she wants to become Rabbanit, and gives lectures everyweek to troubled young girls.
so... it just shows you, that anything is possible, and in the end it's all up to you
to decide what to make of your life...
« Last Edit: October 21, 2007, 07:54:59 PM by Oz77 »
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OZ77

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2007, 07:55:53 PM »
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Offline takebackourtemple

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2007, 07:57:02 PM »
   I modified the choice of language used for this subject.
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Offline cjd

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Re: Can a Slut be Reformed?
« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2007, 08:02:42 PM »
Ari just by the way you titled your question I can tell that this is something that will always bother you about this girl. Are you working with good information about her past? It would be sad if she really was not what she appears to be.  There are levels of "sluttyness" and this goes for men as well as woman. Some folks can't pass up anything that has a pulse and that will always be a problem. Other folks will settle down once they find the right person. Then too there are people who appear slutty ( a tease ) but never go past a certain point. If there is a past the  question you need to ask yourself is are you willing to overlook it if you do get serious. If your not its best not to get involved with her for the long term because it will always be a nagging issue.
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Offline Dan

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2007, 08:05:44 PM »
Yes. I believe that it can!
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Offline Daniel

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2007, 09:28:41 PM »
I think a promiscuous woman can definitely be reformed. A promiscuous man on the other hand, well that's another story all together ;)
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Offline Jasmina

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2007, 10:09:58 PM »
Quote from: Yacov Menashe Ben Rachamim on October 21, 2007, 07:27:53 PM
I added the poll and picked I'm not sure because I wouldn't date a former slut even if she is now religious. The reason is that I only want to marry a virgin. I don't want a used woman.



  sorry to interrupt, but an old say that comes in my mind is: " It's not stupid to be her first, but it's even smarter to be her LAST!" 8;) sorry again! 8;)
« Last Edit: October 21, 2007, 10:23:16 PM by Yasmine »
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Offline jdl4ever

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2007, 10:12:37 PM »
Quote from: Yasmine on October 21, 2007, 10:09:58 PM
  sorry to interrupt, but an old say that comes in my mind is: " It's not bad to be her first, but it's even smarter to be her LAST!" 8;) sorry again! 8;)
Lol.  :D  Bet that sounds even better in Serbian. 
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-Rabbi Meir Kahane Zs'l HYD

Offline nopeaceforland

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #15 on: October 21, 2007, 10:13:28 PM »
Quote from: Ari on October 21, 2007, 07:23:50 PM
This girl appears to be interested in me.  She's Jewish and quite attractive, but I fear she has had a rather promiscuous past.  Do you think this is something I can overlook?  I'm probably going to turn her down because of this as I can't get it out of my mind.  Any help would be appreciated.  Hope all is well with everyone in the forum.

If you'd point this person out, I could talk to her. ;D Seriously, I vote yes on being reformed. She hasn't committed a crime. Shtuping is not a crime, last I heard.
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Offline jdl4ever

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #16 on: October 21, 2007, 10:14:37 PM »
Well, in Judaism it is. 
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"Enough weeping and wailing; and the following of leaders & rabbis who are pygmies of little faith & less understanding."
"I believe very much in a nation beating their swords into plowshears but when my enemy has a sword I don't want a plowshear"
-Rabbi Meir Kahane Zs'l HYD

Offline Jasmina

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #17 on: October 21, 2007, 10:20:07 PM »
Quote from: jdl4ever on October 21, 2007, 10:12:37 PM
Quote from: Yasmine on October 21, 2007, 10:09:58 PM
  sorry to interrupt, but an old say that comes in my mind is: " It's not bad to be her first, but it's even smarter to be her LAST!" 8;) sorry again! 8;)
Lol.  :D  Bet that sounds even better in Serbian. 

 ;D my boyfriend is not home, but he will translate it better! ;D
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Offline nopeaceforland

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #18 on: October 21, 2007, 10:29:33 PM »
Quote from: jdl4ever on October 21, 2007, 10:14:37 PM
Well, in Judaism it is. 

Oops, sorry. Freudian slip.  :-[
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Offline Jasmina

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #19 on: October 21, 2007, 10:31:59 PM »
  how can I change my name if I want to change it from Yasmine to Jasmina (my real name) can I do it? and how?
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Kiwi

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #20 on: October 21, 2007, 10:47:23 PM »
Yes a promiscuous woman can change she looking for the right man, when she finds him she will settle.

People who have no relationships at all are the ones that worry me.

When they get to an age they become self centered unloving, unreasonable gits.

With no ability to share anything, and in their rut of a world they become bitter and twisted, cold and unforgiving, and totally heartless.

No wonder they are alone because they are not open to human side of things.

IMHO  ;)

I don't believe in jumping everything that moves thats lust and not love. People need to enjoy the other things relationships bring them.


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Offline Jasmina

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #21 on: October 21, 2007, 10:49:43 PM »
Quote from: DanBenNoah on October 21, 2007, 10:39:59 PM
I voted yes because there's always a chance for repentance, but I would not stake a relationship on it.  I say this because I did get involved with a girl who had a somewhat promiscuous past but wanted to reform.  She finally ended up cheating on me while I was away at sea for 2 months.

It is possible for a person like this to repent, but the best indicator of future behavior is always past behavior.

  sorry to hear that! I think that a girl with promiscuous past, has big chance to repeat the mistakes that she did before, because such girls usually does NOT have an equilibrium, they love extremes and sometimes could be good, BUT they often get bored of being GOOD and fail into promiscuity again.
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Offline Zvulun Ben Moshe

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #22 on: October 22, 2007, 12:00:21 AM »
Quote from: The Infidel. on October 21, 2007, 10:47:23 PM
Yes a promiscuous woman can change she looking for the right man, when she finds him she will settle.
.....

She will settle? Who said he will?
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Offline Zvulun Ben Moshe

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #23 on: October 22, 2007, 12:05:39 AM »
Quote from: Zvulun ben Moshe on October 22, 2007, 12:00:21 AM
Quote from: The Infidel. on October 21, 2007, 10:47:23 PM
Yes a promiscuous woman can change she looking for the right man, when she finds him she will settle.
.....

She will settle? Who said he will?

The search for the right man will continue forever for a simple reason - there are much fewer exceptional men than there are exceptional women in the world. Most women, when find the right man, will find that he is either taken or a player.

Another possibility is that she will find him, but too late - that is when she turns 35 and then she represents a rather arguable value as woman to that special guy.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2007, 12:07:56 AM by Zvulun ben Moshe »
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Offline Vito

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Re: Can a Promiscuous Woman be Reformed?
« Reply #24 on: October 22, 2007, 12:23:06 AM »
I don't care if she has repented.. I would much rather wait for a good girl with a good past. Unless of course I hit 50 and still haven't found a woman.. then I won't be so picky. At the rate I'm going now, I think I'll have to stop being picky.
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