Author Topic: For Cat People of This World  (Read 23804 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline HiWarp

  • Master JTFer
  • ******
  • Posts: 1867
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #50 on: November 14, 2007, 07:30:04 AM »
PET DIARY

Dog Diary

8:00   a.m.   -   Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30   a.m.   -   A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40   a.m.   -   A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m.   -   Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 a.m.   -   Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00   p.m.   -   Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00   p.m.   -   Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00   p.m.   -   Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00   p.m.   -   Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00   p.m.   -   Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m.   -   Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Idiots!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny;
when the government fears the people, there is liberty.”
---Thomas Jefferson

newman

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #51 on: November 14, 2007, 07:43:19 AM »
PET DIARY

Dog Diary

8:00   a.m.   -   Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30   a.m.   -   A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40   a.m.   -   A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m.   -   Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 a.m.   -   Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00   p.m.   -   Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00   p.m.   -   Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00   p.m.   -   Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00   p.m.   -   Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00   p.m.   -   Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m.   -   Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Idiots!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.


Classic!!!!! :::D :::D :::D :::D :::D

Joe Schmo

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #52 on: November 14, 2007, 11:01:02 AM »
PET DIARY

Dog Diary

8:00   a.m.   -   Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30   a.m.   -   A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40   a.m.   -   A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m.   -   Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 a.m.   -   Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00   p.m.   -   Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00   p.m.   -   Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00   p.m.   -   Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00   p.m.   -   Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00   p.m.   -   Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m.   -   Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Idiots!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.


Cats are abused, tortured and killed in this country by young psychopathic boys who have these same feelings.

newman

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #53 on: November 14, 2007, 11:08:28 AM »


Cats are abused, tortured and killed in this country by young psychopathic boys who have these same feelings.

It's deeper than that.

There is a real cat-hatred amongst blue-collar Australian men. Dunno what it is.

Boeregeneraal

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #54 on: November 14, 2007, 11:14:28 AM »
 :::D :::D :::D :::D

HAHAHAHAHAA.  THAT'S SOOOOOOO FUNNY HIWARP!!!!!

ah man, that was great!

Thanks for that  O0

Joe Schmo

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #55 on: November 14, 2007, 11:22:40 AM »
Cats are abused, tortured and killed in this country by young psychopathic boys who have these same feelings.
It's deeper than that.
There is a real cat-hatred amongst blue-collar Australian men. Dunno what it is.

That's what I'm talking about.

Psychopaths.

newman

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #56 on: November 14, 2007, 11:32:51 AM »
Cats are abused, tortured and killed in this country by young psychopathic boys who have these same feelings.
It's deeper than that.
There is a real cat-hatred amongst blue-collar Australian men. Dunno what it is.

That's what I'm talking about.

Psychopaths.
Psychopaths. That's the word.

Experts and researchers have found that nearly all serial killers, rapists and child mollesters started with animal cruelty as young men. There is a definite behavioural link.

Despite this, weak-kneed judges keep giving bonds and fines. No jail time! >:(

Offline Cyberella

  • Master JTFer
  • ******
  • Posts: 1196
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #57 on: November 14, 2007, 04:12:14 PM »
Here are some of my cats:


Sweet Katy



Tabby, the Bengal



Princess





Below some funny cats  from http://icanhascheezburger.com/








Offline Sarah

  • Ultimate JTFer
  • *******
  • Posts: 3341
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #58 on: November 14, 2007, 04:45:05 PM »
PET DIARY

Dog Diary

8:00   a.m.   -   Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30   a.m.   -   A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40   a.m.   -   A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m.   -   Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 a.m.   -   Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00   p.m.   -   Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00   p.m.   -   Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00   p.m.   -   Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00   p.m.   -   Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00   p.m.   -   Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m.   -   Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Idiots!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.


HiWARP  :::D :::D :::D. I love that so much!
Could I put it my school magazine please?

Its awesome.

Offline Sarah

  • Ultimate JTFer
  • *******
  • Posts: 3341
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #59 on: November 14, 2007, 04:48:20 PM »
Here's a picture of my cat, she's like infidel's cat, white with one blue and green eye.  I took this picture of her after I dug a hole in my front yard to plant a bush and she decided to use it as a hiding spot. 



That photo is brilliant. You should submit it as an entry to a photography competition. You'd win.

Offline Cyberella

  • Master JTFer
  • ******
  • Posts: 1196
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #60 on: November 14, 2007, 08:33:10 PM »

TO: GOD:
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?


Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.


12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?






Boeregeneraal

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #61 on: November 14, 2007, 09:06:31 PM »

TO: G-d:
FROM: THE DOG

Dear G-d: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear G-d: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear G-d: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?


Dear G-d: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear G-d: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear G-d: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear G-d: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear G-d: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.


12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear G-d: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?







 :::D :::D :::D

haha, poor good ol dogs :'( :)

ok, i promise when i make a new car type, i will name it after a dog O0

Haha, good stuff cyberella, thanks for that O0

 :::D

Offline HiWarp

  • Master JTFer
  • ******
  • Posts: 1867
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #62 on: November 15, 2007, 06:28:00 AM »
Quote from: Sarah link=topic=11271.msg#msg date=
Quote from: HiWarp link=topic=11271.msg#msg date=
PET DIARY

Dog Diary

8:00   a.m.   -   Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30   a.m.   -   A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40   a.m.   -   A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m.   -   Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 a.m.   -   Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00   p.m.   -   Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00   p.m.   -   Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00   p.m.   -   Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00   p.m.   -   Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00   p.m.   -   Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m.   -   Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Idiots!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.


HiWARP  :::D :::D :::D. I love that so much!
Could I put it my school magazine please?

Its awesome.


Sure, go ahead Sarah.  I didn't write it, although I wish I had.  :)  I got it in an email from a friend so I consider it in the public domain.
"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny;
when the government fears the people, there is liberty.”
---Thomas Jefferson

Offline Ehud

  • Master JTFer
  • ******
  • Posts: 2476
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #63 on: November 15, 2007, 07:43:57 PM »
PET DIARY

Dog Diary

8:00   a.m.   -   Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30   a.m.   -   A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40   a.m.   -   A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m.   -   Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 a.m.   -   Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00   p.m.   -   Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00   p.m.   -   Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00   p.m.   -   Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00   p.m.   -   Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00   p.m.   -   Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m.   -   Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Idiots!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.


One of my law school professors actually told us this joke a few weeks ago!

"The Jews will eventually have to face up to what you're dealing with here.  The arabs will never love you for what good you've brought them.  They don't know how to really love.  But hate!  Oh, G-d, can they hate!  And they have a deep, deep, deep resentment because you have jolted them from their delusions of grandeur and shown them for what they are-a decadent, savage people controlled by a religion that has stripped them of all human ambition . . . except for the few cruel enough and arrogant enough to command them as one commands a mob of sheep.  You are dealing with a mad society and you'd better learn how to control it."

-Excerpt from The Haj by Leon Uris

Offline JTFFan

  • Ultimate JTFer
  • *******
  • Posts: 3964
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #64 on: November 20, 2007, 04:15:52 AM »
kitlers ::: :::D
what a creative name for kittens and hitler :::D

Kiwi

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #65 on: December 05, 2007, 11:56:03 PM »


My cat Queenie  O0

Offline Cyberella

  • Master JTFer
  • ******
  • Posts: 1196
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #66 on: December 06, 2007, 10:30:31 AM »


My cat Queenie  O0


I have a cat named Niki that looks like your Queenie  : :)




« Last Edit: December 08, 2007, 06:10:48 PM by Cyberella »

Boeregeneraal

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #67 on: December 06, 2007, 07:17:39 PM »
aaaaahhhh......adorable!

Kiwi

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #68 on: December 06, 2007, 11:21:13 PM »
    The Way you Sleep AFTER...

After Two Beers...



After Three Glasses of Wine...



After Four Kamikazes...

 

After a Few Margaritas...



After 2 Bottles of Jack Daniels

 

And, after an evening of Two Beers, Three Wines, Four Kamikazes, Margaritas, and that Bottle of Jack shared with those Friends in Mexico...

Boeregeneraal

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #69 on: December 06, 2007, 11:53:37 PM »
 :::D :::D :::D

Offline Ambiorix

  • Silver Star JTF Member
  • ********
  • Posts: 5180
  • There is no "Istanbul"
    • Brussels Journal
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #70 on: December 07, 2007, 01:19:00 AM »
Turkey must get out of NATO. NATO must get out of Kosovo-Serbia. Croats must get out of Crajina. All muslims must get out of Christian and Jewish land. Turks must get out of Cyprus. Turks must get out of "Istanbul". "Palestinians" must get out of Israel. Israel must become independent from USA.

Kiwi

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #71 on: December 07, 2007, 01:36:07 AM »
:::D :::D :::D
:::D :::D :::D :::D
Which site you find these on ?
Crazy


My post? It was posted on my  forum site by a member of the Illuminati Order, I don't know where he got that from tho, I thought it was worth sharing.

Offline Ambiorix

  • Silver Star JTF Member
  • ********
  • Posts: 5180
  • There is no "Istanbul"
    • Brussels Journal
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #72 on: December 07, 2007, 01:50:41 AM »
:::D :::D :::D
:::D :::D :::D :::D
Which site you find these on ?
Crazy


My post? It was posted on my  forum site by a member of the Illuminati Order, I don't know where he got that from tho, I thought it was worth sharing.


OH I see.
Turkey must get out of NATO. NATO must get out of Kosovo-Serbia. Croats must get out of Crajina. All muslims must get out of Christian and Jewish land. Turks must get out of Cyprus. Turks must get out of "Istanbul". "Palestinians" must get out of Israel. Israel must become independent from USA.

Offline HiWarp

  • Master JTFer
  • ******
  • Posts: 1867
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #73 on: December 07, 2007, 06:20:32 AM »
I KNEW IT!  Now those photos have confirmed it.  I was sure one of my cats was getting into my wine stash.
"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny;
when the government fears the people, there is liberty.”
---Thomas Jefferson

Kiwi

  • Guest
Re: For Cat People of This World
« Reply #74 on: December 07, 2007, 06:39:32 AM »
I KNEW IT!  Now those photos have confirmed it.  I was sure one of my cats was getting into my wine stash.

White wine I would forgive them, red on the other hand hmmmmm I think I would get new cats  :::D