It's the most wonderful time of the year again, boys and girls! It's time for the Hajj at that fabulous wonder of the world - Mecca! Get ready for the time of your lives. At the Mecca hajj you too can join the millions of schmata-wrapped lunatics as they march around the Kaaba, that miraculous edifice that holds...wait....are you ready for this mind-bending spiritual gift? The "stone from heaven" - otherwise known as a meteorite. Never mind that the American Museum of Natural History must be blessed by Allah beyond even the measure of Mecca, considering all the meteorites housed there. But here at the Kaaba, those brilliant luminaries of the scientific and theological world, otherwise known as the Muslims, a black stone is is worshiped as an extraordinary religious object - and who said Islam is stuck in the stone age? After you are done at the Kaaba, you can attend another deeply spiritual ceremony that is so important and moving that hundreds are trampled to death every year just trying to participate! Yes, boys and girls, you can throw stones at a pillar of stone pretending it's the devil. Personally, I think this is really a practice session for stoning women (better get those pitching arms ready, guys, you never know when a woman may show up with her hairline, ankles, or earlobes showing). Ain't we got fun, kids! Hell, the Muslims are such a zany bunch, I just may convert for the sheer fun of it all - they got Santa Claus beat by a mile!