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Offline judeanoncapta

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Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« on: October 27, 2008, 10:25:40 AM »
I can't wait to hear your new questions.

Thank you for your patience.
Post questions here for the ASK JUDEA TORAH SHOW


my blog: Yehudi-Nation






Who is truly wise? He who can see the future. I see tommorow today and I want to end it - Rabbi Meir Daweedh Kahana

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2008, 04:35:28 PM »
Why is Moshiach soo important?
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/

Offline q_q_

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2008, 06:06:35 PM »
Since moshiach will come anyway, does it matter whether one is charedi or religious zionist.

The religious zionists identify him early and fight with him. Risk getting it wrong.

And the Charedim just wait till the last minute.. till world peace comes. Because he has to come, and world peace has to come.  Then are just the last to identify him.

Technically, both ideas are potentially dangerous to me in leading to deaths.

Fighting and losing e.g. Bar Koziba.
Not fighting, and losing e.g. The Holocaust 


« Last Edit: October 27, 2008, 09:21:12 PM by q_q_ »

Offline q_q_

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2008, 09:22:06 PM »
in askjudea8 you mentioned a conversation with your brother..

he said "where is safer?"
you said israel
he said "where are more jews getting killed"
you said Israel. But at least in israel we have a fighting chance.

I would like to respond in defense of your brother's position.

We don't have a fighting chance against a nuclear bomb.

the problem in poland was not just that we didn't have a fighting chance, but that we reached a time when we couldn't leave, because the entry and exit points were shut to jews.

We won't survive a nuclear bomb (practically speaking)

I would also argue what I think is a strong basis based on your brother's position..
A natural reason why we died in the holocaust, is not because we didn't go to israel.
But because we didn't go where it was safe.  Be it america or britain or even india.
We stubbornly stayed in the same place.
When all the signs were that all hell is breaking lose around us and focussed on certain large areas. We stayed there.

The psychological reasons for staying in poland are well known to us, and you cannot deny that some of the reason for staying in isarel, is a psychological reaction to the holocaust. If we had gone to israel we'd have been OK. If we could have fought we would have been OK.. We didn't even try to fight, we were frightened and powerless e.t.c.  So let's fight, let's be brave.. But these are all psychological reasons and in a world that is going nuclear, these are not logical reasons. The safest thing to survive is to stay in a large untargetted country surrounded by popular friendly gentiles that nobody wants to kill. America and britain are not such a good match but still safer than israel on that count.

------below can be ignored, it's not part of question
[1] note- we could survive a nuclear bomb, if the israeli govt provided nuclear weapons suits to filter out the microscopic radioactive particles dissipated by the relatively small blast.  But I don't see much preparation there by the israeli govt, perhaps for fear of scaring the population.  (in 2002 on A7, daniel ben avraham did a program on how to survive a nuclear attack, I have it somewhere),
« Last Edit: November 05, 2008, 03:05:24 AM by q_q_ »

Offline Rubystars

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #4 on: October 27, 2008, 10:05:28 PM »
Greetings Judeanoncapta. What does Elijah's name mean and were there ever competing names for G-d among the Jews? I found a Web site which claims that there were but I don't believe that Web site, but I'd like to hear what your take on it is.

Second question: Who is Metat--n and is he mentioned in the Bible? (Tzvi ben Roshel was kind enough to let me know how to blank out part of this angel's name)

Third question: In the Bible is there ever such a thing as an evil spirit, or are humans the only evil creatures?
« Last Edit: November 30, 2008, 08:19:27 PM by Rubystars »

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2008, 10:19:49 PM »
I dont know if this question is beneath your stature and/or if appropriate for this show, but I would like to know if you know or have information about how the Israeli economy is doing right now, and what is projected and expected for the near future?
  Also I believe you said you have kids, (either way) when your kids are grown and ready to go to school, will you send them to some sort of private school, or public school? (Im asking to get the info about tuition costs, and what type of Yeshivot they have in Israel- are they free, and if they are then are the free one's bolshevik, or would one get a decent Yeshiva for free? If better one's you have to pay, what is the range? Is it full price or somewhat subsidized?
(any additional info. is good, thanks).
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2008, 03:24:08 PM »
We are taught that their are no punishment without sin, so what was the reason that Abel was killed?
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2008, 11:00:22 PM »
  It says in Brahot 4B (Bavli) to join Geula with Tefillah (I believe also in Jerushalmi, but I dont know where). Rav Bar Chaim says (as you also discussed earlier) not to say Kaddish. In the Gemorah commentary it says -however this requirement does not supersede the necessity to pray with a minyan, and that if one comes late, one should pray (Tefillah) and then say the Shema with the blessings.
  BUT if we are to follow what R' Bar Chaim says then we pause after the first blessing, wait till after they finish Kaddish (do we answer Kaddish?) And then say the 2nd blessing and afterwards start Tefillah, but the problem is that it wont be with the minyan.
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/

Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2008, 06:05:31 PM »
Btw to the defense of the haredi rabbi I mentioned about the Warsaw questions, he did say that had he himself been there he would have also grabbed a rifle.   But he was speaking about it from a retrospective view where hindsight is 100% accurate.   He did openly state this.   Nonetheless, it appears his hindsight may have been a bit impaired.   Or at least his interpretation.

Question:  What do you think about the practice I have seen in some Israeli shuls to "auction" aliyahs on Shabboth?   Isn't this a business transaction and why wouldn't it be forbidden on Shabboth?  What would Rav Bar Hayim rule on this matter, or what do you think?
« Last Edit: November 15, 2008, 06:14:40 PM by Kahane-Was-Right BT »

Offline q_q_

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #9 on: November 12, 2008, 05:15:32 AM »
what are your thoughts on the Maimonidean / Anti-Maimonidean conflict ?

where do you stand on it?

Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2008, 01:44:01 PM »
Dear Judea,

It may be that this question will be answered above in Tzvi's inquiry but I just wanted to clear up a matter from two programs ago.  If one can say the haskevanu etc (as the typical standard siddur is composed) no problem and don't even really need to connect geula to tefillah at maariv, like you have answered in program 9, what was that whole discussion about in program 8 where you were saying that the Yerushalmi custom was to say the shema and hashskevaynu before going to sleep?   Did they do both, maariv and shema with minyan and then again at home before going to sleep?  And did they include hashkevaynu in the minyan tefillah?

Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2008, 01:47:34 PM »
When were the midrashim written?  Are they from Sinai as part of the Oral Torah?   Some are more applicable in a literal sense than others, as has been discussed on this program.   But I was wondering, if this was part of an Oral compendium of sorts for some time, and then only written down at a later date, when was it recorded (at same time as the Mishna?  Later generations?), and by whom was it written down?  One rabbi?  A set of rabbis?  Furthermore, do certain midrashim date back to an earlier time than others, and were some recorded (meaning written down) at different dates than others?   (Or is it 'all from Sinai' and 'all were recorded in writing later - together at one specific time').

Offline q_q_

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2008, 02:12:48 PM »
you mentioned in the last program about it being visible in the machzor that ashkenazi customs show origins in Israel, talmud yerushalmi, and sephardi from bavli.    Are there any indications in a regular weekday and shabbat siddur?


Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #13 on: November 13, 2008, 02:19:32 PM »
I believe I heard in shiur this week that Chazal rebuke Sarah for castigating Hagar and kicking her out of her home as a response to the decrease in respect for Sarah and the inflated ego Hagar took on after mating with Avraham.   (Maybe the rabbi was referring to the second episode of Sarah vs. hagar which is actually in Vayeira)  Ie: Sarah's response was viewed negatively as sinful.   Perhaps it was an overreaction?  I was wondering if you had any insights on this matter, and do chazal give us any indication of how Sarah should have responded?   
Edit:  Actually I took a look at the artscroll Chumash and none of the commentaries rebuke Sarah for her behavior but in fact, they defend it and put the blame on hagar.   I don't know why I was told her behavior was sinful.  Was it?
« Last Edit: November 16, 2008, 04:57:13 PM by Kahane-Was-Right BT »

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #14 on: November 13, 2008, 09:09:14 PM »
I listined to the Shiurim you posted by your Rav.
  I want to ask- About the size of the olive- i'm not exactly sure where it is written, but I was told that when the spies came back from Eretz Yisrael, they brought back with them very big fruits and vegetables with them from the land. And that the land produced very good, big sized produce, expecially fit for giants (and apparently some giants did live in E.Y. like Og in Bashan and the giants in Kiryat Arba).
   Another thing- Also I believe it was mentioned in that shiur that the fruits and vegetables are the same as they were back then- But I believe it is written otherwise when the Tosfoth writes that the medical advice from the Talmud doesn't apply now (speaking I think about 900 years ago, Kal Vahomer now) because the foods have changed and our bodies changed (also I heard other things like the wine was much stronger back then, where they had to mix it with water).
  My Rav also said that even a generation ago the foods had better quality to it. For example (and I also heard this from parents, and teacher) that chickens were better tasting (but maybe this might have to do with the whole American mass production vs. more natural foods).
   Another thing connected to this- do you think that the medical advice by the Rambam should be strictly followed (as Halacha, or as advice?) And if he lived a long time ago (and in Egypt and then E.Y.- different climate then America for example) is his writing on this helpful for people in our generation?
  Do you do things like eat and drink only sitting (and when he writes that does also include for example when one is working out or playing sports that they have to stop (for example running on treadmill), sit and then drink?
« Last Edit: November 13, 2008, 09:14:28 PM by Tzvi Ben Roshel »
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/

Offline Kahane-Was-Right BT

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #15 on: November 15, 2008, 06:16:51 PM »
If a person spills ketchup on his shirt on Shabbat, is it forbidden to wipe it off?   Is there a difference in terms of 'scraping' or 'wiping' vs. simply dabbing with water, or is everything (all of these things) forbidden that even closely resembles washing clothes, under that category of prohibitions?

Offline q_q_

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #16 on: November 15, 2008, 06:57:14 PM »
I read in a Charedi newspaper that it's forbidden to pour boiling water from the kettle onto ants.

Do you agree?

Their reasoning was that you are cooking the ant.in the kettle.
Since the kettle the water and the ant are all connected. And what is treif about the ant could travel up through the water and into the kettle.
Just as putting an ant in a pot of water and boiling the water, what is treif about the ant travels through the water and into the pot.

Do you think they are sensible to look at it as if we do'nt really know how the spiritual realm operates but since there is thise close connection - kettle-water-ant. It may well cause the same problem as cooking an ant in a pot. So, sensible to be strict and not do it?

Or, Do you think they've invented a mystical idea to make the law stricter?

Here is some food for thought-
We have a hugely respected dayan in london - dayan ehrentreu  - that made headlines because he wrapped himself up in some kind of layers of clingfilm while he was on a plane, because he's a Kohein and - according to him - the plane flew over a graveyard, and the impurity from corpses travels upwards. (of course, if he was so serious, he should make a fuss that all kohanim do so). He was the head of the London Bet Din (a stringent bet din respected worldwide)
« Last Edit: November 15, 2008, 07:51:14 PM by q_q_ »

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #17 on: November 15, 2008, 08:35:09 PM »
I'm not sure, but I belive that a question(s) of mine have been removed in the past (I just have that feeling). I request that in the future if it is you (or any other moderator) to copy it and send it to me (and then remove it).
  I think it could be that in the last show I put more then 5 questions, and also before that I think it was question on political killings or something like that.
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #18 on: November 25, 2008, 12:52:19 PM »
Can you go through the Hebrew alphabet (alef-bet) and pronounce each letter (as they would appear and be used in the language and not as separate letters).
 Also maybe say Ashri.
« Last Edit: November 26, 2008, 04:40:02 PM by Tzvi Ben Roshel »
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #19 on: December 01, 2008, 08:06:29 PM »
Talk about the Eruv ( I think I asked this question, but I cant find it in the past shows).
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #20 on: December 06, 2008, 11:39:47 PM »
Are we allowed to (Halahically of-course) hate a Jewish leftist?
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #21 on: December 08, 2008, 10:52:54 PM »
Why did Avraham Alav Hashalom, beseech G-d on behalf of wicked Sodom if he knew that eventually his offspring would come to E.Y. and fight the nations that are there. Wouldn't having them alive mean having extra battles for his offspring when they would come in and inherit the land (+ more Jewish soldiers would have died with more battles).
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: Ask Judea Torah Show 11
« Reply #22 on: December 16, 2008, 06:28:37 PM »
What does your Rav say about listining to music by females? Can one listin if they dont look at her face and body? (Like Mp3 or something).  Also what about if one doesn't get bad thoughts from music? Also what if the main part of the song is the beats, and one really cares about the beat, but their is also a little bit of a women singing iz that ok?

  Also what do you think of rap? Is it allowed Halahically? I know it's not good to use curse words, but what if one listins sometimes, but doesn't start cursing?

 Also I heard that one shouldn't look at girls,(you know how)  but for marriage it's okay to see if you like her. But then I heard that one shouldn't be lookin at her afterwards, but besides it being hard (okay the law is the law), but also on top of that it seems wierd not to look at someone's face when you talk to them. Is this extreme? Is it the accepted opinion? ( I didn't hear this from my Rabbi, but I did hear this being said).
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/