Monday night is the start of Tish B'Av - Mourn the destruction

[muman613]

I hope every Jew is planning to fast for Tish B'Av... This is a difficult fast and I hope that I can at least keep it completely. This is a time we should restrict ourselves from many pleasures in order to remember our sadness for the loss of the Beit HaMikdash in Jerusalem. I would like to hear other JTF Jews discuss how they feel during this harsh time.

Here is a reprint of the laws of Tish B'Av:


http://koshertube.com/videos/index.php

THE NINE DAYS

Our Thanks to Phil Chernofsky of the OU/NCSY Israel Center
 
With Rosh Chodesh Av, the more intense period of mourning for the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash, known as The Nine Days, begins.

"As Av enters, we diminish our joy". This statement of the mishna is manifest in many laws & customs observed during the first nine days of the month of Av (Actually it is for nine and a half to ten days).

There is a dispute among authorities as to whether this means that one ceases all joy during this period, or whether one is only required to diminish joy.

One way or the other, some of the manifestations of this concept are the reduction of business, the prohibition of pleasurable building, and other similar things.

One should not play musical instruments during the Nine Days. Some say that applies to singing as well. There are appropriate songs to sing during the Nine Days.

Halachically, tiyulim are forbidden only on Erev Tish'a b'Av and Tish'a b'Av itself. However, one should refrain from pleasurable tiyulim from Rosh Chodesh. Trips abroad should specifically be avoided. Trips to Israel, on the other hand, are allowed because of the mitzva aspect involved.

Concerning the conduct of business, it is generally agreed that in today's economy, the factors of financial loss - rent, salaries, utilities, etc. - would permit business as usual during the Nine Days. Depending upon the type of business and the possible effects of "closing shop" for more than a week, the applications of the halacha may vary. A Rav should be consulted.

Giving of gifts should be avoided, if possible, during the Nine Days. If unavoidable, the gift should preferably not be used until after Tish'a b'Av.

One should not buy new clothes during the Nine Days, even if She'he'che'yanu is not involved, and even if one will not wear the clothes until after Tish'a b'Av. Simple sneakers for Tish'a b'Av is an exception to this rule. Simple sneakers!

Purchases necessary for one's livelihood are permitted; if a She'he'che'yanu is involved, it should be postponed until after Tish'a b'Av.

"Purchases of Mitzva" are allowed, but should be made in consultation with a Posek.

Another interesting exception to the ban on purchases is the case of bargains and availability. One may buy things - even "items of joy" - during the Nine Days, if they will be difficult to find after Tish'a b'Av, or even it they will be more expensive then. The mourning during the Nine Days is not intended to cost us money; it is meant to diminish our joy.

Opinions differ concerning the extent to which some of the following rules apply. Exceptions to any of the following rules should be made only in consultation with one's Rav.

Hair cutting and shaving are prohibited. Even those who shave during the Three Weeks should avoid shaving during the Nine Days.

One may cut fingernails during the Nine Days.

Weddings and other festive gatherings are prohibited.

One should not play or listen to music.

Pleasurable bathing is prohibited. Many apply this prohibition to regular bathing as well. One who showers during the Nine Days for hygienic purposes, should use cooler water than usual, bathe less frequently, take less time, and avoid washing the whole body at one time. Most authorities permit bathing as usual on the Fridays of the Nine Days.

Meat and wine are prohibited during the Nine Days, except on Shabbat. Meat and wine are associated both with joy AND with Temple service. Both reasons combine to explain this prohibition.

Even though havdala is officially after Shabbat, one is permitted to drink wine. It is preferable to give the wine to a child who is old enough to understand brachot but not yet old enough to understand the concept of "mourning for Jerusalem". Alternately, some authorities recommend the use of a substitute beverage for havdala such as fruit juice, beer, etc. Other authorities insist on wine as usual.

It is the practice not to wear freshly laundered clothing during the Nine Days. Undergarments, for health reasons, are generally not included in this ruling. One can "prepare" several changes of clothing before Rosh Chodesh by wearing them briefly. One may dress for Shabbat without the above restriction.

Speaking of She'he'che'yanu...

There is an interesting dispute concerning this joyful bracha during the Three Weeks. The Shulchan Aruch and the ARI z"l prohibit the saying of the bracha. What follows is a ban on new fruit and other purchases which require the bracha.

The Vilna Gaon allows the bracha throughout the Three Weeks (including the Nine Days), even during the week.

The Mishna B'rura allows the bracha on Shabbat, but not during the week.

The Aruch HaShulchan allows it during the week as well, but only until Rosh Chodesh Av. In other words, only on Shabbat during the Nine Days.

If withholding a new fruit because of the bracha issue will cause a reduction of Oneg Shabbat, then even the Shulchan Aruch would permit She'he'che'yanu during the Three Weeks.

The purchase of S'farim should be avoided during the Nine Days, if joy in their purchase produces joy.

This has not been an exhaustive list of the rules for the Nine Days nor have all variant opinions been expressed. It is best to consult one's LOR for more complete information.

Most importantly, we must ponder the causes of the destruction of Jerusalem and the Beit HaMikdash and work towards "repairing the damage" caused by past (and present) generations so that we may be privileged to rejoice in the Geula, speedily in our time.

The laws and customs of mourning the Churban are not meant to overburden us nor are they picayune. They are meant to keep our thoughts and feelings focused on the Churban and its causes, and the resolutions towards improvement that should follow those thoughts and emotions. Use them well.

[muman613]

Insight into the reason behind the mourning:

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/541867/jewish/Why-We-Mourn.htm

Why We Mourn
By Naftali Silberberg

The fast of Tisha b'Av, the saddest date on the Jewish calendar, is the day which saw the destruction of both Holy Temples, as well as many other tragic events throughout our nation's tear-soaked galut (exile). A mournful mood is carefully created. We read Jeremiah's Book of Lamentations and a lengthy collection of elegies which vividly describe all these tragedies, and throughout the day we follow many mourning practices.

Tisha b'Av is our national day of mourning when we pause to reflect on all the pogroms, crusades, inquisitions and holocausts which have dogged our nation for the past 2,000 years. Nonetheless it is specifically observed on the date when the Holy Temples were destroyed, and the Temples are the principal focus of this day's mourning. It is clear that our suffering is intimately associated with the absence of the Temple.

What is the connection? And why the obsession over an ancient Jerusalemite structure? Does the lack of a Holy Temple leave any of us feeling a gaping hole in our lives?

The Talmud declares (Brachot 3a): When Jews enter their prayer and study halls and proclaim, "May His great name be blessed," the Holy One, blessed be He, nods and says, "Fortunate is the king who is thus praised in his home. What is there for a father who has exiled his son? And woe to children who have been exiled from their father's table!"

This brief statement captures the very essence of galut.

Parent-child relationships share many of the qualities which typify all relationships -- though perhaps to a greater degree: respect, love, care, etc. There is, however, an essential difference. Other relationships are predicated on these abovementioned feelings: because I like you and care for you, therefore we are friends. In the parent-child relationship the opposite is true; these feelings are predicated on the relationship: because I am your parent/child, therefore I love you.

Thus the parent-child relationship possesses two aspects; its essence and its manifestations. Its core is the essential relationship which is immutable and not even subject to fluctuations. No matter what, a parent always remains a parent, and one's child remains one's child. In a normal and healthy parent-child relationship, this core soul-connection expresses itself in the form of love, care, and mutual respect.

G‑d is our father, and we are His children. And during galut we constitute a dysfunctional family. We have been expelled from our Father's home. Our relationship has been reduced to its very core. All the perceptible traces of the relationship have vanished. We don't feel or see G‑d's love for us, and we don't really feel like His children. We study His Torah and follow His commandments, and we are told that by doing so we connect with Him, but we don't feel like we are in a relationship.

This is certainly not the way the relationship should be, and this wasn't always the case. There was a time when we were coddled by our Father's embrace. His love for us manifested itself in many forms: miracles, prophets, abundant blessings and a land flowing with milk and honey. And at the crux of our relationship was the Holy Temple, G‑d's home where He literally dwelt amongst His people, where His presence was tangible. Thrice yearly Jews would visit G‑d's home and feel His presence, feel the relationship. They would then return home invigorated by the experience, their hearts and souls afire with love for G‑d.

All the suffering which has been our lot since the day the Temple was destroyed is a result of our exiled state. When the king's son resides in the palace, when the king's love for the prince is on open display, the child is insulated against the designs of all his enemies. But when the child is expelled, the enemies pounce.

This is why we mourn the destruction of the Temples.

And we believe with perfect faith that the day is near when we will be returned to our Father's home, and once again be smothered by His love.


And with a strong Jewish leadership in Israel we will certainly help bring Moshiach into the world...

[muman613]

I just got back from Chabad where I davened and we heard the Rabbi read Lamentations/Eichah...

While I was reading I felt something in Chapter 3...


http://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/16459
Eichah - Lamentations - Chapter 3

Chapter 3
1. I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of His wrath.         א.
2. He has led me and made me walk [in] darkness and not [in] light.         ב.
3. Only against me would He repeatedly turn His hand the whole day long.         ג.
4. He has made my flesh and my skin waste away [and] has broken my bones.         ד.
5. He has built up [camps of siege] against me, and encompassed [me with] gall and travail.         ה.
6. He has made me dwell in darkness like those who are forever dead.         ו.
7. He has fenced me in, so that I cannot get out; He has made my chains heavy.         ז.
8. Though I cry out and plead, He shuts out my prayer.         ח.
9. He has walled up my roads with hewn stones, He has made my paths crooked.         ט.
10. He is to me a bear lying in wait, a lion in hiding.         י.
11. He scattered thorns on my ways, He caused me to spread my legs apart, and made me desolate.         יא.
12. He bent His bow and set me up as a target for the arrow.         יב.
13. He has caused the arrows of His quiver to enter into my reins.         יג.
14. I have become the laughing stock of all my people, their song [of derision] all day long.         יד.
15. He has filled me with bitterness; He has sated me with wormwood.         טו.
16. Indeed, He has made my teeth grind on gravel, and caused me to wallow in ashes.         טז.
17. And my soul is far removed from peace, I have forgotten [what] goodness [is].         יז.
18. So I said, "Gone is my life, and my expectation from the Lord."         יח.
19. Remember my affliction and my misery, wormwood and gall.         יט.
20. My soul well remembers and is bowed down within me.         כ.
21. This I reply to my heart; therefore I have hope.         כא.
22. Verily, the kindnesses of the Lord never cease! Indeed, His mercies never fail!         כב.
23. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.         כג.
24. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul; "therefore I will hope in Him."         כד.
25. The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul that seeks Him.         כה.
26. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.         כו.
27. It is good for a man that he bear a yoke in his youth.         כז.
28. Let him sit solitary and wait, for He has laid [it] upon him.         כח.
29. Let him put his mouth into the dust; there may yet be hope.         כט.
30. Let him offer his cheek to his smiter; let him be filled with reproach.         ל.
31. For the Lord will not cast [him] off forever.         לא.
32. Though he cause grief, He will yet have compassion according to the abundance of His kindness.         לב.
33. For He does not willingly afflict or grieve the sons of man.         לג.
34. [Or] crush under His feet all the prisoners of the earth.         לד.
35. [Or] turn aside the right of a man in the presence of the Most High.         לה.
36. To subvert a man in his cause, the Lord does not approve.         לו.
37. Who has commanded and it came to pass, unless the Lord ordained it?         לז.
38. [And] by the command of the Most High, neither good nor evil come.         לח.
39. Why should a living man complain? A man for his sins.         לט.
40. Let us search and examine our ways, and let us return to the Lord.         מ.
41. Let us lift up our hearts to our hands, to G-d in heaven.         מא.
42. We have rebelled and have been disobedient; You have not forgiven.         מב.
43. You have enveloped Yourself with anger and pursued us; You have slain without mercy.         מג.
44. You have enveloped Yourself in a cloud, so that no prayer can pass through.         מד.
45. You make us as scum and refuse among the peoples.         מה.
46. All our enemies have opened their mouth wide against us.         מו.
47. We had terror and pitfalls, desolation and ruin.         מז.
48. My eyes shed torrents of water over the destruction of the daughter of my people.         מח.
49. My eye streams and is not silent, without respite.         מט.
50. Till the Lord looks down from the heavens and beholds.         נ.
51. My eye sullies my soul more than all the daughters of my city.         נא.
52. My enemies have hunted me like a bird, without cause.         נב.
53. They have confined my life in the dungeon and have cast a stone upon me.         נג.
54. Water flowed over my head; I thought, "I am cut off."         נד.
55. I called on Your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit.         נה.
56. You did hear my voice; hide not Your ear from my sighing [or] from my crying.         נו.
57. You did draw near when I called on You; You did say, "Do not fear."         נז.
58. You did plead my cause, O Lord; You did redeem my life.         נח.
59. You have seen wrong done to me, O Lord; judge my cause.         נט.
60. You have seen all their [acts of] vengeance, all their devices against me.         ס.
61. You have heard their insults, O Lord, all their plots against me.         סא.
62. The utterances of my assailants and their thoughts are against me all day long.         סב.
63. Behold their sitting down and their rising; I am their song [of derision].         סג.
64. Requite them, O Lord, according to the work of their hands.         סד.
65. Give them a weakness of heart; may Your curse be upon them.         סה.
66. Pursue them in anger and destroy them from under the heavens of the Lord.

[muman613]