She's probably not really a self-hater but just someone who knows that black men are more likely to be welfare sponges, cheat on her, or get violent with her. Black women are often subject to abuse and can be put at risk for STDs by cheating boyfriends or spouses. They also, like all other women, want financial security and don't want a man who will bum around the house and not get a real job to support her.
Nevertheless, I think she should try to find a decent black man. There are some out there and she should just have high standards and yet still seek someone of her own background.
She might have luck going with an older man because a lot of times if they've survived past the youth stage without going to jail/prison and have had time to grow out of a lot of the 'ghetto' stuff then they are better people than the average "young black male".
Look at Pastor Manning for example. He admits that in his youth he was a typical black male, but now that he's older he regrets that and strives to be a good Christian and good person.
So I think that this woman on Dr. Phil shouldn't give up but should seek someone out who really would be compatible with her.