Poll

If it was a life and death matter and you had to choose between eating nonkosher and Hallal, which would you choose?

Halal all the way, man!
6 (28.6%)
Nonkosher...Halal is poison
4 (19%)
Makes no difference, both are unkosher.
8 (38.1%)
I would rather DIE DIE DIE!!!
1 (4.8%)
Can bacon be considered halal?
2 (9.5%)
choices A and C
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 0

Author Topic: For those of you who are Kosher  (Read 22025 times)

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Offline Dr. Dan

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For those of you who are Kosher
« on: November 21, 2007, 07:13:39 PM »
 :P
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

"Science without religion is lame; Religion without science is blind."  - Albert Einstein

newman

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2007, 07:23:13 PM »
I bet you'd eat bacon, Danny, you semi-observent Jew, you.. :D

newman

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2007, 07:32:35 PM »
It would give Jews a good excuse to try bacon without sinning. ;)

newman

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2007, 07:38:56 PM »
Having children is a mitzvah. What if you have erectile dysfunction and need an aphrodesiac to breed and only oysters are available?

Can you break one mitzvah and eat oysters to obey the other mitzvah to multiply?

newman

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2007, 07:43:48 PM »
Having children is a mitzvah. What if you have erectile dysfunction and need an aphrodesiac to breed and only oysters are available?

Can you break one mitzvah and eat oysters to obey the other mitzvah to multiply?


What is an aphrodesiac?



Something that makes one amorous. Like spanish fly. Oysters are the best natural one.

newman

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2007, 07:47:32 PM »
What is a Spanish fly?



An aphrodesiac! Like natural viagra.

Offline Ambiorix

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2007, 07:48:01 PM »
In that situation every bite I take from a non-kosher meal will only serve as a bitter reminder to destroy the enemy! Of course, I would start a Kosher underground movement for Jews to secretly eat only Kosher food too, besides Jews, hopefully righteous Gentiles will also step in and help out in distributing Kosher meals secretly too!

And fight the enemy!
The halal food that muslims request is for me, as a non-Muslim unacceptable to eat.
not, that it is kosher or not-kosher, I don't intend to become a Jew, so I enjoy eating pork and respect Jews that can't eat it.

Anyway, I never go to eat in places where muslims are working in the kitchen,
In my favourite restaurant I was once a Paki working in the kitchen , but lucky for  me he doesn't work there anymore.
I think in a situation a Jew can't find kosher food , he should follow the rules, at all costs , unless he would be starving to death.

Turkey must get out of NATO. NATO must get out of Kosovo-Serbia. Croats must get out of Crajina. All muslims must get out of Christian and Jewish land. Turks must get out of Cyprus. Turks must get out of "Istanbul". "Palestinians" must get out of Israel. Israel must become independent from USA.

Offline Lisa

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2007, 08:01:18 PM »
Newman, your question is moot, being that we now have Viagra.

newman

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2007, 08:02:44 PM »
Newman, your question is moot, being that we now have Viagra.

But my question was IF oysters were the only aphrodesiac available.

Offline Ari

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2007, 08:03:12 PM »
I have never eaten pork, at least knowingly (I'm sure it's been an additive in foods I've eaten and been unaware of and that I have been fooled sometime in my life, just given the probabilities) even before I began the attempt to become strictly kosher.  I remember as a kid my Dad told me pigs spend most of their lives in mud and it was a turnoff.  He also doesn't eat pork, but I can catch him on a few things about not being 100 percent kosher if I looked hard enough.

kellymaureen

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2007, 08:12:14 PM »
Having children is a mitzvah. What if you have erectile dysfunction and need an aphrodesiac to breed and only oysters are available?

Can you break one mitzvah and eat oysters to obey the other mitzvah to multiply?


What is an aphrodesiac?



Something that makes one amorous. Like spanish fly. Oysters are the best natural one.

Not for everyone....Id be in the bathroom losing my lunch.....YUCK oysters :o :o
Congrats on 7000 posts!

newman

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2007, 08:14:56 PM »
Having children is a mitzvah. What if you have erectile dysfunction and need an aphrodesiac to breed and only oysters are available?

Can you break one mitzvah and eat oysters to obey the other mitzvah to multiply?


What is an aphrodesiac?



Something that makes one amorous. Like spanish fly. Oysters are the best natural one.

Not for everyone....Id be in the bathroom losing my lunch.....YUCK oysters :o :o
Congrats on 7000 posts!
Thankyou.


Correction:

Oysters are the second best natural aphrodesiac.

Kellymaureen is the best. :D

Offline Lisa

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2007, 08:30:45 PM »
Newman, such talk should be saved for private messages only.

Offline MassuhDGoodName

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2007, 09:20:03 PM »
Re:  "...I have never eaten pork..."

The following is true.

In the year 2000, I took part in a Talmudic discourse given by a Lubavitcher Rabbi to a small group of men, among them a practicing attorney.

The subject?

The Rabbi was explaining under what circumstances pork is considered kosher by means of Talmudic reasoning.

I was flabbergasted!

What!  I exclaimed...

The Rabbi explained that according to our greatest Rabbinical Sages, if a Jew walking along sees a pack of butchered meat lying on the ground, he may consider it kosher if there is reason for him to believe that a kosher butcher was within a certain distance of his whereabouts...even if in a non-Jewish country where almost no other Jews are near.

In such a situation, the butchered pork could be considered kosher meat, brought home and enjoyed by the whole Jewish family!

To this day I still can't quite grasp the intricacies of the Rabbi's discussion...it simply made my "head spin" trying to figure it all out.

The lawyer attending the meeting, seeing my unsettled demeanor at hearing a Rabbi declare that pork could be actually kosher, turned to me and said, "Now you know why it is that Yeshiva students make the best courtroom attorneys!"

Offline Raulmarrio2000

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #14 on: November 21, 2007, 09:22:16 PM »
I don't eat Kosher meat since I am a Goy. But I strictly avoid Tameh animals. Neither eat them nor touch them when dead.
And I would have no problem with Halal, if I doubt some food may have pork or shellfish, and there is Halal, I'd choose Halal instead.
However I'd buy the Halal in a supermarket, not directly from a Muslim....lest he may poison me for being pro-Israel. One never knows..........

Offline MassuhDGoodName

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #15 on: November 21, 2007, 09:28:15 PM »
All sexual excitement and sexual arousal is within the mind.

So too the climax is within the mind.

Nothing is more arousing to myself than a beautifully adorned woman whose clothing accentuates the female form, or just watching the natural walk of such a woman, etc... .

An "erection" isn't necessarily related to sensual arousal.

However, for those who disagree, I strongly recommend using a long piece of string and a popsickle stick to compensate for nature's deficiencies.

Offline OdKahaneChai

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #16 on: November 21, 2007, 09:51:45 PM »
It makes not a one iota of difference!  They're both treif!

One does not deal with terrorists; one does not bargain with terrorists; one kills terrorists.
- Rabbi Meir Kahane ZT"L, HY"D

Offline Ambiorix

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #17 on: November 21, 2007, 09:58:33 PM »
I don't eat Kosher meat since I am a Goy. But I strictly avoid Tameh animals. Neither eat them nor touch them when dead.
And I would have no problem with Halal, if I doubt some food may have pork or shellfish, and there is Halal, I'd choose Halal instead.
However I'd buy the Halal in a supermarket, not directly from a Muslim....lest he may poison me for being pro-Israel. One never knows..........
But buying halal would only encourage them. No?
Encourage them in the sense that we are legitimizing their false dietary laws and giving their halal companies $$. I don't want to give them money.
 
I agree Mills. You don't give a single penny to your enemies.
I rather don't eat than accepting muzz-food.
Turkey must get out of NATO. NATO must get out of Kosovo-Serbia. Croats must get out of Crajina. All muslims must get out of Christian and Jewish land. Turks must get out of Cyprus. Turks must get out of "Istanbul". "Palestinians" must get out of Israel. Israel must become independent from USA.

Offline Raulmarrio2000

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #18 on: November 21, 2007, 10:03:01 PM »
Halal is Treif for Jews, unless it is also certified Kosher by a Rabbi. Halal doen't fit as kosher for a Jew, it is not slaughtered under Torah Laws. But it is reliable that it has no pork or other filthiness, so it's ok for me ( A Goy who dislikes Tameh).
Anyway I always prefer Kosher food, even when the food is not requiered to be certified even for a Jew, I try to buy it, just to support the companies which have their products certified. I even prefer Kosher candles, even to light the house, just to give money to the Kosher Mashgiash

Offline Tzvi Ben Roshel1

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #19 on: November 22, 2007, 12:37:38 AM »
In a life and death situation I would prefer Halal over outright non-kosher. And wanyway it doesn't really encourage or support anything if its a one in a life time thing.
The Academy of Elijah taught, whoever studies the laws (of the Torah) every day, (he) is guaranteed to have a share in the World to Come.

‏119:139 צִמְּתַתְנִי קִנְאָתִי כִּישָׁכְחוּ דְבָרֶיךָ צָרָי
My zeal incenses me, for my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
‏119:141 צָעִיר אָנֹכִי וְנִבְזֶה פִּקֻּדֶיךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.
 I am young and despised; I have not forgotten Your precepts.

" A fool does not realize, and an unwise person does not understand this (i.e. the following:) When the wicked bloom like grass, and the evildoers blossom (i.e. when they seem extremly successful), it is to destroy them forever (i.e. they are rewarded for their few good deeds in this World, and they will have no portion in the World to Come!)

Please visit: (The Greatest lectures on Earth).
http://torahanytime.com/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Yossi_Mizrachi/
http://www.torahanytime.com/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/

Offline Eliezer Ben Avraham

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #20 on: November 22, 2007, 12:44:08 AM »
It is utterly irrelevant which one is chosen. Neither is Kosher and therefore undesired, but in a life and death situation a Jew is allowed to eat non-Kosher, unless he is specifically forced to eat non-kosher (sounds more complex than it is)
KAHANE TZADAK!

Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #21 on: November 22, 2007, 02:05:10 AM »
I bet you'd eat bacon, Danny, you semi-observent Jew, you.. :D


I actually I keep kosher to a certain degree

that means i don't eat trayf foods..i try to only eat kosher meat.. I don't mix dairy with meat...but with poultry i do...When i do eat beef i wait at least 3 hours before i eat dairy. When i go out to restaurants, i try to avoid unkosher meat including poultry, but i'll everythign else.
I do not separate dishes...

and bacon...blech!
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

"Science without religion is lame; Religion without science is blind."  - Albert Einstein

Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #22 on: November 22, 2007, 02:07:03 AM »
Having children is a mitzvah. What if you have erectile dysfunction and need an aphrodesiac to breed and only oysters are available?

Can you break one mitzvah and eat oysters to obey the other mitzvah to multiply?


probably not in this case...besides, there is Viagra.
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

"Science without religion is lame; Religion without science is blind."  - Albert Einstein

Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #23 on: November 22, 2007, 02:08:52 AM »
How could someone eat a fly?



YOu pick it up with your fingers, open your mouth and then chomp chomp chomp like anything else.
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

"Science without religion is lame; Religion without science is blind."  - Albert Einstein

Offline Dr. Dan

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Re: For those of you who are Kosher
« Reply #24 on: November 22, 2007, 02:13:38 AM »
It makes not a one iota of difference!  They're both treif!


I thought about this and you are technically right...Halal is not kosher...

However, why is it that if our life is threatened by Muslims to convert we are allowed to convert, but with Christianity we have to take the sword?

So along that line, isn't choosing Halal food a higher priority than eating non-Halal food if kosher were not available?
If someone says something bad about you, say something nice about them. That way, both of you would be lying.

In your heart you know WE are right and in your guts you know THEY are nuts!

"Science without religion is lame; Religion without science is blind."  - Albert Einstein