Author Topic: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:  (Read 3474 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

newman

  • Guest
Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« on: November 28, 2007, 12:26:35 AM »
Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:

The vast majority of TV preachers are "charismatic/pentecostal", who make claims of miraculous healings if you send in your cash. All the TV preachers on this page are "charismatic/pentecostal". Take this quiz and find out how much you know about these men.

1. This televangelist has been known to heal phlegm and once, successfully, rebuked a hurricane from heading toward his TV production complex. (Pat Robertson)

2. Who said, "You’d be surprised how well you can praise God in the back seat of a Rolls Royce Phantom 5." (Rev. Ike)

3. Which televangelist said Eve gave birth to Cain and Abel out of her side, taught that Adam could fly and believes the Godhead is actually nine (count ‘em-nine) entities? (Benny Hinn)

4. Who said, "IF you’re an intellectual, you’ll probably go to hell for it." (Jonathan BelI)

5. Which televangelist teaches that Jesus was rich and the Apostles were successful businessmen with plenty of money? (Fred Price)

6. When sentencing this televangelist to 10 years in prison For money laundering, mail fraud, conspiracy, and interstate transportation of stolen property the judge said "You’ve picked the last flake of flesh from the carcass of the widow you defrauded." (Jim Whittington)

7. Who felt he had to go to a psychiatrist to find out whether or not he was homosexual? (Jim Bakker)

8. Who reports that U.S. interstate highway signs are coded to let U.N. troops know where to attack in order to usher in a one-world government? (Jack & Rexela Van Impe)

9. Who wishes he could have a Holy Ghost machine gun so he can kill his enemies? (Benny Hinn)

10. Which televangelist was banned from British television for airing unsubstantiated testimonials? (Morris Cerullo)

11. Which televangelist, while being sentenced for tax fraud, was asked by the judge if he was from another planet? (WV Grant)

12. Whose first miracle witnessed was the healing of a pet chicken? (Jan Crouch)

13. Who, when accused of a sexual impropriety defended himself by saying a demon had duplicated him, and that if you see him doing anything bad, it’s not the real him? (Bob Larson)

14. This preacher proudly displayed himself in bed with a bevy of Playboy Playmates. (Gene Scott)

15. Who stars in his own worse-than-B movies and charges $930 for his Bible course on tape? (Kenneth Copeland)

16. Which televangelist owns his own mountain top? (Pat Robertson)

17. Who bought Twitty City and believes white hair is most often found among the holy? (Paul Crouch)

18. This current televangelist was exposed years ago for receiving "words of knowledge" not from God, but from his wife via radio transmitter. (Peter Popoff)

19. When an FCC investigation into his organization’s Finances Found that $ 13 million was unaccounted for, this preacher explained, "Satan got into our computer and lost the money (Jim Bakker)

20. This preacher sells elderships to his church by mail. (Morris Cerullo)

21. Who claims U.N troops are currently hiding out in U.S. national parks? (Jack & Rexela Van Impe)

22. While in federal prison this televangelist was publicly claiming to have repented, yet he was selling copies of his appeals papers proclaiming his innocence. (Jim Bakker)

23. Who failed to meet Better Business Bureau standards of reporting income from fund-raising activities? (All TV evangelists listed here)

Offline Ehud

  • Master JTFer
  • ******
  • Posts: 2476
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2007, 12:33:47 AM »
Anyone who is afraid of U.N. troops is certifiably insane. 
"The Jews will eventually have to face up to what you're dealing with here.  The arabs will never love you for what good you've brought them.  They don't know how to really love.  But hate!  Oh, G-d, can they hate!  And they have a deep, deep, deep resentment because you have jolted them from their delusions of grandeur and shown them for what they are-a decadent, savage people controlled by a religion that has stripped them of all human ambition . . . except for the few cruel enough and arrogant enough to command them as one commands a mob of sheep.  You are dealing with a mad society and you'd better learn how to control it."

-Excerpt from The Haj by Leon Uris

Offline nopeaceforland

  • Master JTFer
  • ******
  • Posts: 2104
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2007, 12:35:54 AM »
Were we supposed to keep a straight face while reading these statements? They are hilarious! :::D

newman

  • Guest
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2007, 12:36:18 AM »
Anyone who is afraid of U.N. troops is certifiably insane. 

The "whoop whoop whoop" sound you hear isn't UN black helicopters but people in straight jackets.

Offline Ehud

  • Master JTFer
  • ******
  • Posts: 2476
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2007, 12:46:45 AM »
There's also José Luis de Jesús Miranda who believes that he is "Jesus Christ in the flesh" and who has a cult of followers who have 666 tattoos. 

He also says that there is no sin in the world anymore and that murder and rape are only wrong as decreed by man. 



 
"The Jews will eventually have to face up to what you're dealing with here.  The arabs will never love you for what good you've brought them.  They don't know how to really love.  But hate!  Oh, G-d, can they hate!  And they have a deep, deep, deep resentment because you have jolted them from their delusions of grandeur and shown them for what they are-a decadent, savage people controlled by a religion that has stripped them of all human ambition . . . except for the few cruel enough and arrogant enough to command them as one commands a mob of sheep.  You are dealing with a mad society and you'd better learn how to control it."

-Excerpt from The Haj by Leon Uris

newman

  • Guest
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2007, 12:49:07 AM »
There's also José Luis de Jesús Miranda who believes that he is "Jesus Christ in the flesh" and who has a cult of followers who have 666 tattoos. 

He also says that there is no sin in the world anymore and that murder and rape are only wrong as decreed by man. 



 
Sounds like mohammed.

Offline Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks

  • Honorable Winged Member
  • Gold Star JTF Member
  • *
  • Posts: 23384
  • Real Kahanist
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2007, 01:06:59 AM »
Newman, I actually agree with you here. What these loons are doing (to enrich themselves, of course) is pathetic. They are turning millions of people away from Jesus and make G-d into a laughingstock across the whole world.

That being said, I hope you realize that not all ministers are like these buffoons.

newman

  • Guest
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2007, 01:12:57 AM »
Newman, I actually agree with you here. What these loons are doing (to enrich themselves, of course) is pathetic. They are turning millions of people away from Jesus and make G-d into a laughingstock across the whole world.

That being said, I hope you realize that not all ministers are like these buffoons.

Any christian will tell you that most attacks on christianity they hear are because of these bogus, hypocritical, get-rich TV preachers.

Thank G_d there are no Refrm Rabbis on TV getting rich to smear Judaism.

Offline Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks

  • Honorable Winged Member
  • Gold Star JTF Member
  • *
  • Posts: 23384
  • Real Kahanist
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #8 on: November 28, 2007, 01:16:52 AM »
Thank G_d there are no Refrm Rabbis on TV getting rich to smear Judaism.
Actually maybe, in a perverse way, that would be a good thing. It might actually create so much outrage that the Jewish community itself would take care of these obscene Reform apostates. I'd watch a Deformed Jewish "rabbi" making bizarre claims on television to fleece the flock--for the entertainment value.  ;D

newman

  • Guest
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #9 on: November 28, 2007, 01:19:15 AM »
Thank G_d there are no Refrm Rabbis on TV getting rich to smear Judaism.
Actually maybe, in a perverse way, that would be a good thing. It might actually create so much outrage that the Jewish community itself would take care of these obscene Reform apostates. I'd watch a Deformed Jewish "rabbi" making bizarre claims on television to fleece the flock--for the entertainment value.  ;D
Could you imagine the nazis, conspiracy theorists and some christians if Jews DID evangelise on TV?  :o

They'd all be throwing fits!

Offline Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks

  • Honorable Winged Member
  • Gold Star JTF Member
  • *
  • Posts: 23384
  • Real Kahanist
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2007, 01:21:13 AM »
I don't think it would make much difference. The Nazis throw fits now and Jews don't do crap to them.

The benefit (besides entertainment value to JTF members) to large numbers of Deform rabbis making fools of themselves in that way is that the world would pay far less attention to their opinions during "peace" talks and other such abominations.

newman

  • Guest
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #11 on: November 28, 2007, 01:24:47 AM »
I don't think it would make much difference. The Nazis throw fits now and Jews don't do crap to them.

The benefit (besides entertainment value to JTF members) to large numbers of Deform rabbis making fools of themselves in that way is that the world would pay far less attention to their opinions during "peace" talks and other such abominations.
But the downside would be secular jews saying."Look! Judaism's no different to those other loonie religions".

Offline Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks

  • Honorable Winged Member
  • Gold Star JTF Member
  • *
  • Posts: 23384
  • Real Kahanist
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2007, 01:53:04 AM »

But the downside would be secular jews saying."Look! Judaism's no different to those other loonie religions".
Again, I see little difference. The majority of practiced "Judaism" already is a "loony religion". If so-called "rabbis" can gleefully proclaim that the state of Israel shouldn't exist or that the Jews should share the land G-d gave them with the Muslims, then I don't see how making absurd appeals for money is so shocking.

Offline Christian Zionist

  • Master JTFer
  • ******
  • Posts: 1515
  • homosexuality is an abomination to God-Lev.18:22
Re: Fake Television Evangelist I.Q. Test:
« Reply #13 on: November 28, 2007, 02:44:34 AM »
Many money greedy television preachers bring disgrace to Christianity.  They are our number one enemies.  However there are good ministries too!

This site provides a wealth of information about Christian ministers who are without financial accountability.

http://www.ministrywatch.org/mw2.1/H_Home.asp

(I believe God can still heal people but nowadays genuine healings are discredited by non-Christians because of the atrocities committed by the Television Evangelists)
Isaiah 62:1 -  For Zion's sake I am not silent, And for Jerusalem's sake I do not rest, Till her righteousness go out as brightness, And her salvation, as a torch that burns.