Author Topic: JDL4ever's Official "Are You a Proud Jew or a Kike Test?"!  (Read 1923 times)

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Offline jdl4ever

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JDL4ever's Official "Are You a Proud Jew or a Kike Test?"!
« on: January 24, 2008, 01:27:07 PM »
Have you ever wondered what type of Jew you are?  Well, this test will reveal what type of Jew you are.  Are you a exemplary Kahanist biblical Jew, a good Kahanist Jew, an OK Jew, a weak ghetto Jew, a self hating ki.ke Jew or an evil Eruv Rav Jew?  Look no further as the answer is 1 minute away! This test has 10 questions, pick the best answer and look below as to what type of Jew you are.  After you answer a question, write down the number for the answer choice you chose (they are numbered 1-4)

Question 1:  You are walking down the street and see your fellow Jew being attacked by a Shvartza.  You

1.  Help the attacker since the guy probably said something racist and he deserves the beating
2.  Run away
3.  Run away and call the police or get help
4.  Immediately come to the aid of your fellow Jew

Question 2:  When you hear the word pal.estinian, what immediately comes to your mind

1.  A peaceful people with a remarkable culture and history
2.  Nothing at all comes to my mind
3.  A violent people that just need to be given concessions and reeducated with sensitivity training at a university to be normal.
4.  A pile of camel feces

Question 3:  What statement best describes your view on Jews owning guns and weapons?

1.  Weapons are evil and we should take away all weapons from Jews and destroy them
2.  Personally I do not think Jews should own weapons but instead they should rely on the police to defend them
3.  I am neutral, if some want to own weapons then I don't object but I don't want to have any.
4.  "Every Jew a 22"

Question 4:  The founding of the state of Israel although done mostly by evil secularists was:

1.  A horrible thing that displaced the smelly arabs from their land
2.  A horrible thing, we can't have a state before the Massiah
3.  A great modern day Biblical miracle but we would have been better off without it since it isn't really a Jewish state
4.  A great modern day Biblical miracle and without it we would be in danger

Question 5:  Rabbi Meir Kahane Zs'l Hy'd was:

1.  A raving lunatic
2.  A Rabbi with a right to his own opinions but I think he was an extremist
3.  A great Rabbi with Valid Torah opinions, some that I agree with
4.  The greatest Rabbi and greatest leader in our generation and a revolutionary light to the Jewish people at a time of darkness.

Question 6:  Settlements in the state of Israel:

1.  All should be removed and the land given to the fakestinains, then maybe we'll have peace
2.  Only the largest settlements should remain and all expansion stopped since it puts those living there in danger.
3.  Should be left alone, let all Jews who want to settle their land do whatever they please.
4.  Are a wonderful thing.  They should be actively encouraged to expand and grow by the government and given support and money.

Question 7:  Violence and Judaism, what does Judaism think of the use Violence?

1.  Violence and Judaism are incompatible
2.  I am undecided
3.  Violence should never be used except in extreme circumstances like for immediate self defense
4.  Violence is an essential part of Judaism and should be used whenever necessary

Question 8:  What would you rather be doing on the holy Sabbath?

1.  I don't keep the Sabbath
2.  Watch my favorite show on the TV, oh it has a timer on so I'm not violating the Sabbath
3.  Going to synagogue, having a nice Sabbath meal then sleeping afterward.
4.  Going to synagogue, having a nice Sabbath meal then learning Torah the rest of the day

Question 9:  This question is different for men or for women:

FOR MEN:

2 girls like you, a nice looking Jewish girl and a gorgeous Shiksah.  Which one do you chose?

1.  The Shikshah because the jewish one doesn't look as good and complains too much.  Plus she'll get fat by eating all that chinease food.
2.  Why pick only one?  I'll pursue both and get the best of both worlds, but I'll only marry the Jewish one though.
3.  I'll pick the Jewish one because the Shiksah is probably a slut and will leave me anyways.
4.  Of course the Jewish girl because the Torah forbids relationships with non Jews. 

FOR WOMEN: 

What is the best quality that you look for in a mate:

1.  That he has a big kebab stick
2.  That he has lots of money
3.  That he is handsome looking
4.  He is a nice Torah observing gentleman with good Midot

Question 10:  Arabs in the land of Israel

1.  Should be given the right of return since we stole their land
2.  Should be allowed to live in the land since Israel is a democracy
3.  Should be encouraged to leave
4.  Should be thrown out now, I don't care how. 
______________________________________________________

Now here is how you obtain your score.  Each question's answer is a choice of 1-4.  Simply add up the numbers for each answer.


If your score is 38-40:  You are an exemplary Kahanist Biblical Jew and are the model of Jewish pride an perfection. 

If your score is 36-37:  You are a good Kahanist Jew. You should congratulate yourself on being one of the few proud Jews in the world today who know the truth.  However, there is room for improvement and you should listen to a couple of the great leader R' Kahane's speeches  and some of Chaim's shows to perfect your Torah knowledge and Jewish pride.

If your score is 33-35:  You are an OK Jew.  You know some of the basics of Judaism and try to follow the proper path but the other basic truths such as Jewish pride and identity escape you or the establishment hid them from you.  You need some mind blowing injections of truth by reading R' Kahane's books and listening to his speeches and listening weekly to JTF.  Plus becoming an active our forum will be a good help for you in your path of becoming the model proud Kahanist biblical Jew we all struggle to become.

If your score is 26-32:  You are a wimpy ghetto Jew. You are far away from the basic Torah truth and are similar to the wimpy watered down Holywood Torah of Steven Speildburg or the conserved or reformed fake Judaism.  You need to have someone to give you a pair of balls, bang your head against the wall a few dozen times and teach you the proper Torah path.  Since you are so far away from true Judaism, it will take a while.  But with an open mind and some effort, you will become a proud Biblical Kahanist Jew. 

If your score is 20-25:  You are a self hating Jew or a k.ike.  We may not be able to save you from so much self hate but if you repent and have spark of longing in you to return to the Torah, you may still become a proud biblical kahanist Jew.

If your score is 1-19 then you are an evil Eruv Rav Jew.  You should take out your head scarf, wrap it around your neck and hang yourself on your ceiling fan.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2008, 07:13:08 PM by Yacov Menashe Ben Rachamim »
"Enough weeping and wailing; and the following of leaders & rabbis who are pygmies of little faith & less understanding."
"I believe very much in a nation beating their swords into plowshears but when my enemy has a sword I don't want a plowshear"
-Rabbi Meir Kahane Zs'l HYD

Offline OdKahaneChai

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Re: JDL4ever's Official "Are You a Proud Jew or a Kike Test?"!
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2008, 06:14:55 PM »
Mine was 38 1/2.

One does not deal with terrorists; one does not bargain with terrorists; one kills terrorists.
- Rabbi Meir Kahane ZT"L, HY"D

Offline jdl4ever

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Re: JDL4ever's Official "Are You a Proud Jew or a Kike Test?"!
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2008, 06:19:03 PM »
Mine was 38 1/2.
Very good.  You just made the highest ranking. 
"Enough weeping and wailing; and the following of leaders & rabbis who are pygmies of little faith & less understanding."
"I believe very much in a nation beating their swords into plowshears but when my enemy has a sword I don't want a plowshear"
-Rabbi Meir Kahane Zs'l HYD

Offline Nolandforshalom

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Re: JDL4ever's Official "Are You a Proud Jew or a Kike Test?"!
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2008, 03:30:35 PM »
I got 36. A Very Good Quiz. You should put it on a quiz site that automatically grades it. Would you like me to do that?
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Re: JDL4ever's Official "Are You a Proud Jew or a Kike Test?"!
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2008, 03:41:34 PM »
I got 40 so I should convert. Now where's that Mikvah?

Offline Muck DeFuslims

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Re: JDL4ever's Official "Are You a Proud Jew or a Kike Test?"!
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2008, 03:42:54 PM »
I nominate this for best JTF Forum post ever.

Fantastic.

Thanks for making my day.

Offline jdl4ever

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Re: JDL4ever's Official "Are You a Proud Jew or a Kike Test?"!
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2008, 07:02:35 PM »
I got 36. A Very Good Quiz. You should put it on a quiz site that automatically grades it. Would you like me to do that?
Sure.  Sounds like a good idea.

I nominate this for best JTF Forum post ever.

Fantastic.

Thanks for making my day.

He hee.  Thanks for the complement.  To be honest, I got the idea from this now defunct Kahanist magazine I saw 10 or so years ago called "The Judean Voice" that had a similar quiz although not as funny as mine.  I actually hallucinated the whole quiz a few days ago when I was on a 24 hour call and was bored. 

I got 40 so I should convert. Now where's that Mikvah?

I only got a 39 so maybe you should.   :o
« Last Edit: January 26, 2008, 07:08:13 PM by jdl4ever »
"Enough weeping and wailing; and the following of leaders & rabbis who are pygmies of little faith & less understanding."
"I believe very much in a nation beating their swords into plowshears but when my enemy has a sword I don't want a plowshear"
-Rabbi Meir Kahane Zs'l HYD

Offline Eliezer Ben Avraham

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Re: JDL4ever's Official "Are You a Proud Jew or a Kike Test?"!
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2008, 10:35:43 PM »
1. 4
2. 2, I find myself baffled as this is not a people I am familiar with, I would like to learn of their history as I am not familiar with a people by that name
3. 4
4. 4
5. 4
6. 4
7. 4, Although I wouldnt use the word violence, rather war
8. 3 and 4
9. 4
10. 4

37.5

I disagree with your assessment of question 2, how can something come to mind regarding a people that has never, does not, and will never exist? Its like asking what I think of the Boogajdsklgs people. I think nothing of them because they don't exist
KAHANE TZADAK!