What is the most important attribute of a good wife?

[Abben]

Honesty, communication, loyalty...

Everyone says looks and that's true but if the personality isn't is she worth it?

[Scriabin]

Honesty, communication, loyalty...

Everyone says looks and that's true but if the personality isn't is she worth it?

Looks mean nothing.

'Beautiful' women will do everything in their power to accentuate their physical beauty.

Sexy clothes, make-up, suggestive behavior, perfume, etc.  These are all powerful tools of deception.

A 'good-looking' woman is the most cunning, treacherous creature on Earth. 

It is indeed what's on the inside that counts.

[Ulli]

Honesty, communication, loyalty...

Everyone says looks and that's true but if the personality isn't is she worth it?

No! You are right.

[~Hanna~]

Here is a good reminder....

[Scriabin]

"Those who cannot debate, defame."

"Name-calling is the last refuge of non-thinkers."

"A good Jewish fist needs to be attached to a good Jewish head."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me."

[~Hanna~]

What a wonderful day in the neighborhood, a wonderful day for a neighbor...

Would you be mine?

Could you be mine?

 

[YoChana]

And BTW, Where does it say to love your wife as yourself?

Maimonides restated a Talmudic teaching in his monumental code of Jewish law: "The sages commanded that a man must honor his wife more than his own self and love her as himself. If he is wealthy, he should provide her with the best in accordance with his wealth. He should not cause her to fear him, but speak with her gently, not with sadness nor anger.

PICK ME UP OFF THE FLOOR....HERE IS A MAN AFTER ANY WOMAN'S
HEART....MY HEART WENT FLIP-FLOP WITH THESE PRECIOUS WORDS

 

Here is a bit of profile of me:


I am blessed with so many talents. I am very domesticated, but can handle things of the business world, as well. I am a singer/songwriter of Psalms from the L_rd. I have ministered some in the areas of prophetic song; word of wisdom an knowledge; interpretation of dreams; and laying on of hands.

I believe my past has chiseled and formed me into the stature of this woman I am today. Although, I am not ignorant to think the process is finished. The fitting together of the man who finds me and loves me, will continue into eternity. I will be writing volumes about the journey I have traveled to get here.

My Ideal Person:
I desire an equal yoke. Someone who parallels me and is going in the same direction. Let's love each other to greatness. Talking will reveal much more about each other.

Two people loving each other to greatness. If no one is accused of any troubles or problems, and both can continue to love and adore one another they will be unstoppable. Everyone deserves to reach their full potential, but that can't happen unless you can love the other person unconditionally. Some may say that is a fantasy, but I believe I can have it, do you believe, too?

[P J C]

Quote Removed By Shlomo

Forum drama isn't necessary. Especially approaching November 4th.

Shlomo: Excellent Point!! I have removed the offending posts.

[momofsixbabes]

I heard a godly man once say that a wife was the reflection of her husband.  He said that she was the reflection of the love that he poured into her, the more selfless and loving he was toward her the more she reflected that love.

I can say that, as a woman or wife, the more my husband meets my needs, the more that I desire to be desireable (keeping trim and pretty for him in every way). My desire is that he is filled to the brim when he leaves the home, wanting nothing. I have done this during times when it has been a sacrifice and during times when it is easy. But, it is much easier to do when he fills me up emotionally. Back to the saying, I agree with the man who said that his wife was a reflection of him (perhaps, this is not always the case but I think it is more often the case).

[momofsixbabes]

ma<snip>, pregnant, obedient, always pretty, laughing, and cheerleading. Perfect Wife. What EVERY man is looking for.

I don't want a woman who is obedient <snip>. While I would love to have a big family, I need a little challenge in a relationship to remain happy and would hope she worked at least before children were born. I really would become bored if it was too easy.

i'm not sure if a woman that works is easier or more difficult than a woman that doesn't.

many would say it's easier for both of you if you both work.

Most women know this about men and it works the same for women. As humans, whether we like to admit it or not, we need challenge in order to be happy. I also would want her to have her own hobbies, mind, and independent self-image.

woman is described as a helper,

and later in Gen 3:16, in punishing the woman, the text shows G-d saying.

"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall ****rule*** over thee."

It's NOT healthy for man to dominate women. If we look at the Torah's story of creation, G-d determines that man needs a helpmate, but it is a while before Eve is created. Instead, all the birds and animals are created and Adam is asked to name them. At the conclusion of this part, the Torah tells us, "... but for Adam no fitting helpmate was found." What's the lesson we learn from this? Why did G-d say this after Adam named the animals? Why wasn't Adam happy with an animal for a helpmate?

well, after Eve was created, Adam says she is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.. The text continues

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. "

The Torah uses euphemisms.  No *suitable* helper was found.

Obviously an animal may be a helper but isn't going to provide the intellectual stimulation,(and that serpant if he still talks is not very helpful!), the animal isn't going to he an intelligent helper, only a human can match that. 
Well, that could be Steve. Obviously Steve wouldn't be suitable, it wouldn't satisfy man's longing for a Woman.


As far as being a Helper is concerned, it requires obedience, and animals are very obedient.
So obedience isn't a problem, for a helper, if anything the lack of it is a problem.

The Torah does say man should rule over his wife.. dominate her.
i.e. boss her about.

I look at it as men have the ability to do it..
Women were so dependent on men.

In our times though, when one doesn't have to kill animals or chop down trees, and in these very recent times startling times, when some of the more physical women are getting strong enough to do these things themselves!  And all could from going to the gym like many do just to lose weight. And we don't even need the physical strength to do that anymore.  Women aren't stuck in the submissive position anymore, but they can't necessarily choose it either.


One thing I could say..
I did hear once that a proper translation is that G-d created a help to oppose him.  So that implies some equality.

I haven't seen that anywhere though.

At the end of the day, it's sad that G-d punished women with being bossed about. We don't have to be gratituitous about it.  And we may even follow their instructions sometimes  - so they feel a bit better.   If one really likes the girl, then one wouldn't want to boss her about telling her to do things that she doesn't want to do. The Torah doesn't give that counsel though.

Because an animal is subordinate to man. It's not his equal. Adam had been commanded earlier to "Have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth." So Adam could not overcome his loneliness and find true love with a subordinate being, over whom he ruled.

it says to rule over her too, just later on.

The false religion islam and ego teaches men must dominate women. This type of will to control comes from insecurity and low self-esteem. It's an effort to control the outside because a person has no self control - which is what the soul really wants.

the soul really wants to dominate women?
I don't think so at all.

there is an idea in judaism that the soul is G-dly and perfect..   And you said that dominance is not the right way anyway.

I think some men just -don't care- and will boss women about making their lives misery.  I think if you CHOOSE a wife and make her life a misery, then either you're a bad guy or you chose the wrong one - one that annoys you, or you're not capable of being a good husband. I think a man like that should not have children.. though the torah says "be fruitful and multiply"..

I think a decent man would naturally NOT want to dominate women.

As you suggest yourself, you don't want to dominate women.


Man should have the ability to.. That in an argument he should be able to flip her upside down and take her out of the house.  But he shoudn't abuse this advantage!

(of course some madonna like women might be able to do this to their husbands.. but what can you do)

<snip>

Interesting post. If a man has won a woman's heart, such in Song of Solomon or Boaz in the book of Ruth, then a man can easily rule a woman, and she can hardly keep from pleasing him in every way.

[Scriabin]

Quote Removed By Shlomo

Forum drama isn't necessary. Especially approaching November 4th.

No drama, only truth.

[~Hanna~]

ma<snip>, pregnant, obedient, always pretty, laughing, and cheerleading. Perfect Wife. What EVERY man is looking for.

I don't want a woman who is obedient <snip>. While I would love to have a big family, I need a little challenge in a relationship to remain happy and would hope she worked at least before children were born. I really would become bored if it was too easy.

i'm not sure if a woman that works is easier or more difficult than a woman that doesn't.

many would say it's easier for both of you if you both work.

Most women know this about men and it works the same for women. As humans, whether we like to admit it or not, we need challenge in order to be happy. I also would want her to have her own hobbies, mind, and independent self-image.

woman is described as a helper,

and later in Gen 3:16, in punishing the woman, the text shows G-d saying.

"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall ****rule*** over thee."

It's NOT healthy for man to dominate women. If we look at the Torah's story of creation, G-d determines that man needs a helpmate, but it is a while before Eve is created. Instead, all the birds and animals are created and Adam is asked to name them. At the conclusion of this part, the Torah tells us, "... but for Adam no fitting helpmate was found." What's the lesson we learn from this? Why did G-d say this after Adam named the animals? Why wasn't Adam happy with an animal for a helpmate?

well, after Eve was created, Adam says she is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.. The text continues

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. "

The Torah uses euphemisms.  No *suitable* helper was found.

Obviously an animal may be a helper but isn't going to provide the intellectual stimulation,(and that serpant if he still talks is not very helpful!), the animal isn't going to he an intelligent helper, only a human can match that. 
Well, that could be Steve. Obviously Steve wouldn't be suitable, it wouldn't satisfy man's longing for a Woman.


As far as being a Helper is concerned, it requires obedience, and animals are very obedient.
So obedience isn't a problem, for a helper, if anything the lack of it is a problem.

The Torah does say man should rule over his wife.. dominate her.
i.e. boss her about.

I look at it as men have the ability to do it..
Women were so dependent on men.

In our times though, when one doesn't have to kill animals or chop down trees, and in these very recent times startling times, when some of the more physical women are getting strong enough to do these things themselves!  And all could from going to the gym like many do just to lose weight. And we don't even need the physical strength to do that anymore.  Women aren't stuck in the submissive position anymore, but they can't necessarily choose it either.


One thing I could say..
I did hear once that a proper translation is that G-d created a help to oppose him.  So that implies some equality.

I haven't seen that anywhere though.

At the end of the day, it's sad that G-d punished women with being bossed about. We don't have to be gratituitous about it.  And we may even follow their instructions sometimes  - so they feel a bit better.   If one really likes the girl, then one wouldn't want to boss her about telling her to do things that she doesn't want to do. The Torah doesn't give that counsel though.

Because an animal is subordinate to man. It's not his equal. Adam had been commanded earlier to "Have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth." So Adam could not overcome his loneliness and find true love with a subordinate being, over whom he ruled.

it says to rule over her too, just later on.

The false religion islam and ego teaches men must dominate women. This type of will to control comes from insecurity and low self-esteem. It's an effort to control the outside because a person has no self control - which is what the soul really wants.

the soul really wants to dominate women?
I don't think so at all.

there is an idea in judaism that the soul is G-dly and perfect..   And you said that dominance is not the right way anyway.

I think some men just -don't care- and will boss women about making their lives misery.  I think if you CHOOSE a wife and make her life a misery, then either you're a bad guy or you chose the wrong one - one that annoys you, or you're not capable of being a good husband. I think a man like that should not have children.. though the torah says "be fruitful and multiply"..

I think a decent man would naturally NOT want to dominate women.

As you suggest yourself, you don't want to dominate women.


Man should have the ability to.. That in an argument he should be able to flip her upside down and take her out of the house.  But he shoudn't abuse this advantage!

(of course some madonna like women might be able to do this to their husbands.. but what can you do)

<snip>

Interesting post. If a man has won a woman's heart, such in Song of Solomon or Boaz in the book of Ruth, then a man can easily rule a woman, and she can hardly keep from pleasing him in every way.

Yes......

[Moijea]

I think the most important attribute is that she truly honors her husband as G-d's covering and leader in the home.

[IsraeliGovtAreKapos]

Intelligence, Housekeeping ability, Awesome looks, modesty, faith.

[Ulli]

I think the most important attribute is that she truly honors her husband as G-d's covering and leader in the home.

This is a very important point.

She should do it in a way, that nobody should ever remember her about it. It has to be natural.

[Americanhero1]

A good wife should be able to share the duties with her husband and show him that she loves him everyday. She should be able to take care of her children and her husband and also be able to be independent

[Moijea]

I think the most important attribute is that she truly honors her husband as G-d's covering and leader in the home.

This is a very important point.

She should do it in a way, that nobody should ever remember her about it. It has to be natural.

In my mind, this is the principle thing. G-d is a G-d of Divine Order. Without the right Order, nothing will work.

[Ulli]

I think the most important attribute is that she truly honors her husband as G-d's covering and leader in the home.

This is a very important point.

She should do it in a way, that nobody should ever remember her about it. It has to be natural.

In my mind, this is the principle thing. G-d is a G-d of Divine Order. Without the right Order, nothing will work.

Yes, I agree with you.