Kahanist Singles > Jewish Singles
Is Dating Allowed in Judaism?
AsheDina:
--- Quote from: q_q_ on October 08, 2008, 02:04:06 AM ---in practice, only the most religious do arranged marrages, like, black hat, prayer 3 times a day. And of those , some of them date anyway and don't do arranged marriages.
in arranged marriage situations, they still "date", but for a few weeks.
in the "modern orthodox" world, there is dating.
In the right of the modern orthodox world, it can work out i.e. the male and female don't have sex. Obviously if they do have sex it's kept quiet, because they know it's technically wrong. They often get married and nobody knows, and they lead a perfectly regular modern orthodox life.
The basics, are Shabbat. Kosher. And morning prayer.
The more religious are really into prayer and regular torah study.
It's not so much about left and right like in politics - leftists are idiots. It's about how serious about doing things. Judaism is a difficult thing.
Arranged marriages haven't got the halachic problems of risk of sex before marriage. But they have problems of sometimes not being a good match. Because they just trust some third party and don't know each other long enough to know each other. The modern orthodox way may have less risk of heartbreak and embarassement like weddings suddenly being called off.
--- End quote ---
I didnt really date. I am a 100% prude type. I like it that way. I am not as much of a prude as I was, but Jewish people need to restrain themselves- sex b4 marriage is a no-no. It can destroy a whole relationship. There are folks that meet in later life- mid-age, this does not bother me, what they do- but kids, and young adults need to remain chaste. We need to protect young adults from delving into adultery.
q_q_:
--- Quote from: Paulette on October 10, 2008, 07:55:21 AM --- I didnt really date. I am a 100% prude type. I like it that way. I am not as much of a prude as I was, but Jewish people need to restrain themselves- sex b4 marriage is a no-no. It can destroy a whole relationship. There are folks that meet in later life- mid-age, this does not bother me, what they do- but kids, and young adults need to remain chaste. We need to protect young adults from delving into adultery.
--- End quote ---
that's an interesting theory, that sex before marriage increases the chances of adultery.
you could also argue that it doesn't(and a decent person wouldn't commit adultery, and if he would, he shouldn't be married in the first place). And one could argue that it decreases it..
Of course, judaism is not in favour of sex before marriage, so for that reason, jews shouldn't do it!
AryehYehudah:
Shalom,
I really love that scene in the movie. Personally, I support Shidduchim and think it will considerably help end the high divorce rates, adultery, STDs, domestic abuse , etc that our societies are plagued with. Assuming that all is done under the guidance of Rabbi or religious elders and family. The irony of the Fiddler example, is part of the movie's emphasis was on how breaking Jewish teachings would lead them to happiness. For example, all three girls married men who the father disapproved, initally; one whom the father disapproved perpeutally. You can see in the case of Tzeitel, the father made a greedy and poor decision to marry her to an old man in exchange for financial security. This relationship obviously would have not worked out in the long run. However, I feel that the other marriages, the daughter with the communist and the daughter with the Russian goy, even though glorified in the movie to some extent, would ultimately lead to the failure and was the beginning of the end for Shidduch in our culture as well as many others. In the movie you can see the daughters rebelling against their father, choosing men who suited their own desires rather than Hashems. You can also feel the grief of Tevye who was not respected by his wife and later his children to a great degree. For example, when the communist came to him and boldly told him he is taking his daughter and there is nothing he can do. Of course, Tevye invited this on himself by befriending him.
I love Fiddler on the Roof very much, but to me, it is a movie that shows the end of Jewish culture in a tiny village of Annatevka in exchange for a more sterilized, modern one. The movie I suppose makes the communist look like a hero, but to me he was the greatest villain in the movie as his whole role was to make a mockery of Judaism. Of course, he was "educated" at the Univeristy and had new ideas; and, of course, new ideas are always better. We have the same college schmucks on the university campuises today preaching the End of Israel and to help contribute to the cause of Muslims. The only bit of respect I give to Perchik (the communist), in comparison with today's liberals, is that he had the duty of fighting Tzar which makes the situation a bit different than the lazy and "uneducated" college blokes we have running around with their head cut off today.
As for your marriage Muman, may G-d bless you and your isha.. May you both live to see another 1000 years together (from Fiddler ^-^) before you move on to a greater place. With a 50-60% divorce rate, that is quite an achievement.
elle:
I used to date lots when I was in highschool.
Great times indeed.
nopeaceforland:
--- Quote from: no_pork on May 07, 2009, 07:06:34 AM ---Why date when you can invest some money instead!
:dance:
--- End quote ---
Invest? I thought your mother was free! :o
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