Howdy Chaim! I have no questions this week, instead I want to tell two funny schvartza stories. One in Abeline Texas and the other in Omaha.
I hope you'll help me narrate.
A friend of mine and I were at a convinience store in Abeline TX while on a trip a year ago. We were going to pay for gas and for food but the line was long. To make matters worse this ugly funky smelling homeless schvartza was ahead of us and arguing AND yelling with the clerk and manager over liquor and cigarettes. *YEAH! I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU IS TALKING ABOUT [censored]! DAT CREDIT CARD IS STILL GOOD! AH PUT FIFTY DOLLARS IN IT DIS MORNING FROM MAH DISABILITY PENSION! IT AINT OVER DRAWN! YOU IS READING IT DAH RONG WAY [censored]! YOU IS A STUPID ASS [censored]! AH NEED MAH BLUNTS AND MAH VODKA SO TYRAN AND I CAN GET SETTLED! TYRAN EVEN HELPED ME WIT DAT EFFING CARD! YEAH!*
This went on for a long time, the clerk was a black man and the manager was white and they were all cussing and argueing and Oh man was that bum ugly and nasty! He had no teeth, he was dirty, he smelled and I was angry because I know people who can't get disability SSD or SSI and they cant get anywhere but they will give our money away to this trogoladyte to get drunk, smoke and get high. I don't know why but I turned around and these mexicans behind me I said to them, welcome to the America of Obama. They all burst into laughter. the cops eventually showed up and told him to leave. He shuffled out ranting about *YEAH! DAT CREDIT CARD AINT OVERDRAWN AH PUT MONEY IN IT DIS MORNIN YOU IS A STUPID [censored]!*
The clerk apologized to us and told us he keeps coming into the store to shoplift and harass people. He also deficates on the property as well.
This second story takes place in Omaha when the Pope was visiting. I was at the park and there was this crack addict running around and jumping up and down ranting and saying crazy things. *AINT YOU HEAR!? DA POPES IN TOWN! YEAH! DAT GERMAN POPE AINT GOT NOTHING ON GEORGE WASHINGTON! GEORGE WASHINGTON KILLED OFF DEM GERMANS IN DA FIRST WORLD WAR! OLD GEORGE WASHINGTON HE GONNA GET OUT HIS MUSKET AND KILL DAT GERMAN! DAT POPE BE A WAR CRIMINAL LIKE DAT [censored] BARACK!*
He kept ranting and screaming this all over the park. I asked him what he had against the pope and Germans and he was *DAT POPE WAS WORKIN FOR HITLER IN DA LAST WAR WE HAD! GEORGE WASHINGTON BUST A CAP ON DEM! YEAH! MICHAEL JACKSON BE MOONWALKING THE BEACHES OF D-DAY [censored] WE STORMED IN AND BUST BUSH AND DAT [censored] DA POPE! YEAH!*
Eventually he moved on I heard him yelling all throughout downtown. It was sad and pathetic. At least we don't have it as bad as in places like LA or New York.