Author Topic: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????  (Read 6280 times)

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Offline ~Hanna~

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I'm just curious, does anyone have any insights about why it is SO DIFFICULT to treat women with a little bit of respect?

Especially the ones that are trying to live right.

Where are the defender's of women at? :crazy:

Or do we have to fight for ourselves?

 :-X

I do realize one or two of you are here... :) or more....
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Offline Garrett

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Re: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2009, 06:59:44 PM »
Best guess would have to be the circumstances you are meeting these "Men".
If you look in a garbage can, do not be surprised when you find garbage.

Offline ~Hanna~

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Re: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2009, 09:31:44 PM »
I do not go anywhere to meet these men...what are you implying?  :::D I guess that is why I've been alone now for so many years,  :::D I stay holed up in my house, the cave.

Best guess would have to be the circumstances you are meeting these "Men".
If you look in a garbage can, do not be surprised when you find garbage.
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Offline Moijea

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Re: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2009, 11:34:42 PM »
I just came across the book yesterday at The Conservative Book Club, its now on my "to buy" list:

The Compleat Gentleman: The Modern Man's Guide to Chivalry
by Brad Miner

Miner explains that contrary to fashionable feminizing psychobabble, real manhood is not complicated. It is, in fact, an ancient ideal based on service to God, country, family, and friends. It's simple to state, yes, but not so easy to attain -- and worthy of a lifetime of struggle.

According to Miner, author of The Concise Conservative Encyclopedia and the National Review College Guide, a gentleman must stand out for his dignity, restraint, and discernment. Miner rejects the prevailing relativist notion that one way of behaving is as good as another, and insists that a gentleman must belong to an aristocracy not of wealth or birth, but of virtue. Proposing neither a club nor a movement, Miner instead advocates the adoption of a lofty code of manly conduct. Nor is this a mere gesture or pose: he argues compellingly that the widespread adoption of this code is essential for the survival of our republic.

With an engaging lightness of touch combined with a forthright willingness to state difficult and unpopular truths, Miner traces the concept of manliness from the jousting fields of the twelfth century to the decks of the Titanic. He delineates three masculine archetypes: the warrior, the lover, and the monk. Combined, he explains, these make up the "compleat gentleman." This modern knight cultivates a martial spirit in defense of the true and the beautiful. He treats the opposite sex with the passionate respect required by courtly love. And he values learning in the pursuit of truth - all with discretion, decorum, and the detachment that comes from a proper awareness of the true order of things.

The Compleat Gentleman contains the wisdom that can bring healing and renewal to our increasingly uncivilized age -- one gentleman at a time.

Discover what it takes to be The Compleat Gentleman:

* Explained: elements of the gentlemanly character that would have been obvious to any medieval knight, but which men today must labor to recover

* Honorable men fight: negative consequences that have come from the separation of combat from the chivalric ideal

* Why to be a gentleman is not to be a feminized man -- contrary to the popular modern misconception

* Are gentlemen born or made? A careful consideration in light of the characteristics of a true gentleman

* The one thing for which a compleat gentleman should be willing to risk death

* Compleat gentlemen in history (notably, General Robert E. Lee)

* How popular attitudes about military life are directly related to the popularity of the virtues associated with chivalrous gentlemen

* Why it is a mistake to dismiss the impact of courtly love upon Western culture

* Eleanor of Aquitaine: the key element of civilized life for which this remarkable woman deserves much of the credit

* Why the pen is not always mightier than the sword

* The single, simple virtue that sums up all the aspects of chivalry

* How a true gentleman meets a woman on her own terms, and yet in doing so shows the hollowness of today's ideological feminist drivel about oppression

* Discretion: why one of the compleat gentleman's most singular qualities is the ability to be cool with hot information

* Honesty and prudence: why it is so important to distinguish them from their common counterfeits

* Justice: how this most misunderstood of all virtues must form the center of the gentleman's character

* How the grandest of secular philosophies -- liberalism -- has been reduced to mere equivocation and relativism

* Why many modern understandings of what it means to be courageous are severely deficient

* Three essential truths powerful enough to turn a dyed-in-the-wool liberal into a rock-ribbed conservative gentleman

The Price of Freedom, . . . . courage.

Offline ~Hanna~

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Re: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2009, 11:47:01 PM »
Oh, that's good....thanks for sharing it... ;D

I just came across the book yesterday at The Conservative Book Club, its now on my "to buy" list:

The Compleat Gentleman: The Modern Man's Guide to Chivalry
by Brad Miner

Miner explains that contrary to fashionable feminizing psychobabble, real manhood is not complicated. It is, in fact, an ancient ideal based on service to G-d, country, family, and friends. It's simple to state, yes, but not so easy to attain -- and worthy of a lifetime of struggle.

According to Miner, author of The Concise Conservative Encyclopedia and the National Review College Guide, a gentleman must stand out for his dignity, restraint, and discernment. Miner rejects the prevailing relativist notion that one way of behaving is as good as another, and insists that a gentleman must belong to an aristocracy not of wealth or birth, but of virtue. Proposing neither a club nor a movement, Miner instead advocates the adoption of a lofty code of manly conduct. Nor is this a mere gesture or pose: he argues compellingly that the widespread adoption of this code is essential for the survival of our republic.

With an engaging lightness of touch combined with a forthright willingness to state difficult and unpopular truths, Miner traces the concept of manliness from the jousting fields of the twelfth century to the decks of the Titanic. He delineates three masculine archetypes: the warrior, the lover, and the monk. Combined, he explains, these make up the "compleat gentleman." This modern knight cultivates a martial spirit in defense of the true and the beautiful. He treats the opposite sex with the passionate respect required by courtly love. And he values learning in the pursuit of truth - all with discretion, decorum, and the detachment that comes from a proper awareness of the true order of things.

The Compleat Gentleman contains the wisdom that can bring healing and renewal to our increasingly uncivilized age -- one gentleman at a time.

Discover what it takes to be The Compleat Gentleman:

* Explained: elements of the gentlemanly character that would have been obvious to any medieval knight, but which men today must labor to recover

* Honorable men fight: negative consequences that have come from the separation of combat from the chivalric ideal

* Why to be a gentleman is not to be a feminized man -- contrary to the popular modern misconception

* Are gentlemen born or made? A careful consideration in light of the characteristics of a true gentleman

* The one thing for which a compleat gentleman should be willing to risk death

* Compleat gentlemen in history (notably, General Robert E. Lee)

* How popular attitudes about military life are directly related to the popularity of the virtues associated with chivalrous gentlemen

* Why it is a mistake to dismiss the impact of courtly love upon Western culture

* Eleanor of Aquitaine: the key element of civilized life for which this remarkable woman deserves much of the credit

* Why the pen is not always mightier than the sword

* The single, simple virtue that sums up all the aspects of chivalry

* How a true gentleman meets a woman on her own terms, and yet in doing so shows the hollowness of today's ideological feminist drivel about oppression

* Discretion: why one of the compleat gentleman's most singular qualities is the ability to be cool with hot information

* Honesty and prudence: why it is so important to distinguish them from their common counterfeits

* Justice: how this most misunderstood of all virtues must form the center of the gentleman's character

* How the grandest of secular philosophies -- liberalism -- has been reduced to mere equivocation and relativism

* Why many modern understandings of what it means to be courageous are severely deficient

* Three essential truths powerful enough to turn a dyed-in-the-wool liberal into a rock-ribbed conservative gentleman


SHEMA ISRAEL
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Offline The One and Only Mo

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Re: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2009, 12:54:05 AM »
ewwww girls have cooties :yuck: :disease:

Offline ~Hanna~

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Online Confederate Kahanist

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Re: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2009, 01:12:03 AM »
ewwww girls have cooties :yuck: :disease:

I totally agree man.  I try to stay away from them.
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Offline The One and Only Mo

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Re: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2009, 09:01:40 AM »
ewwww girls have cooties :yuck: :disease:

I totally agree man.  I try to stay away from them.

Just stay away from guys too, Chad.

Online Confederate Kahanist

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Re: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2009, 05:16:43 PM »
ewwww girls have cooties :yuck: :disease:

I totally agree man.  I try to stay away from them.

Just stay away from guys too, Chad.

Oh I definitely will.
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Offline Madmarv

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Re: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????
« Reply #10 on: August 12, 2009, 06:31:36 PM »
My guess hanna would be:

1. Most men don't want a long-term relationship, or they're afraid of intimacy, so they'd rather get a one-night stand or a not-so-serious relationship. So they'd be looking for a nasty girl, instead of a nice gentile woman like you. :)

2. Maybe the way you dress or make up. Its true... I've been having the same problem (with the dress only, lol..) and I only realized it after my ex-gf told me, she said my cloths are horrible, I don't know how to dress, I was lucky that we used to work together and she knew my personality and the way I act with people BEFORE she notices my cloths. If I met her in a club or a pub, she wouldn't even bother talking to me. She still loves me though and she tought me how to dress nicely.

3. other things... probebly the connection between your personality and where you live. I don't manage well in my society (as I am an arab as you know) with this mentality. My last gf told me that I should be strict with her and forbid her from doing stuff and control her in some way, and that I'm too nice and open minded for her. This was like a shock to me, I thought that's how to treat a good woman. I guess moral measurements differ from one society to another. See what I mean?
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Offline Boyana

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Re: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????
« Reply #11 on: September 01, 2009, 09:48:06 PM »
Emily Post (1873–1960).  Etiquette.  1922.

Chapter XXIX.
The Fundamentals of Good Behavior
 
FAR more important than any mere dictum of etiquette is the fundamental code of honor, without strict observance of which no man, no matter how “polished,” can be considered a gentleman. The honor of a gentleman demands the inviolability of his word, and the incorruptibility of his principles; he is the descendant of the knight, the crusader; he is the defender of the defenseless, and the champion of justice—or he is not a gentleman.    1
   
DECENCIES OF BEHAVIOR

  A gentleman does not, and a man who aspires to be one must not, ever borrow money from a woman, nor should he, except in unexpected circumstances, borrow money from a man. Money borrowed without security is a debt of honor which must be paid without fail and promptly as possible. The debts incurred by a deceased parent, brother, sister, or grown child, are assumed by honorable men and women, as debts of honor.    2
  A gentleman never takes advantage of a woman in a business dealing, nor of the poor or the helpless.    3
  One who is not well off does not “sponge,” but pays his own way to the utmost of his ability.    4
  One who is rich does not make a display of his money or his possessions. Only a vulgarian talks ceaselessly about how much this or that cost him.    5
  A very well-bred man intensely dislikes the mention of money, and never speaks of it (out of business hours) if he can avoid it.    6
  A gentleman never discusses his family affairs either in public or with acquaintances, nor does he speak more than casually about his wife. A man is a cad who tells anyone, no matter who, what his wife told him in confidence, or describes what she looks like in her bedroom. To impart details of her beauty is scarcely better than to publish her blemishes; to do either is unspeakable.    7
  Nor does a gentleman ever criticise the behavior of a wife whose conduct is scandalous. What he says to her in the privacy of their own apartments is no one’s affair but his own, but he must never treat her with disrespect before their children, or a servant, or any one.    8
  A man of honor never seeks publicly to divorce his wife, no matter what he believes her conduct to have been; but for the protection of his own name, and that of the children, he allows her to get her freedom on other than criminal grounds. No matter who he may be, whether rich or poor, in high life or low, the man who publicly besmirches his wife’s name, besmirches still more his own, and proves that he is not, was not, and never will be, a gentleman.    9
  No gentleman goes to a lady’s house if he is affected by alcohol. A gentleman seeing a young man who is not entirely himself in the presence of ladies, quietly induces the youth to depart. An older man addicted to the use of too much alcohol, need not be discussed, since he ceases to be asked to the houses of ladies.   10
  A gentleman does not lose control of his temper. In fact, in his own self-control under difficult or dangerous circumstances, lies his chief ascendancy over others who impulsively betray every emotion which animates them. Exhibitions of anger, fear, hatred, embarrassment, ardor or hilarity, are all bad form in public. And bad form is merely an action which “jars” the sensibilities of others. A gentleman does not show a letter written by a lady, unless perhaps to a very intimate friend if the letter is entirely impersonal and written by some one who is equally the friend of the one to whom it is shown. But the occasions when the letter of a woman may be shown properly by a man are so few that it is safest to make it a rule never to mention a woman’s letter.   11
  A gentleman does not bow to a lady from a club window; nor according to good form should ladies ever be discussed in a man’s club!   12
  A man whose social position is self-made is apt to be detected by his continual cataloguing of prominent names. Mr. Parvenu invariably interlards his conversation with, “When I was dining at the Bobo Gildings’“; or even “at Lucy Gilding’s,” and quite often accentuates, in his ignorance, those of rather second-rate, though conspicuous position. “I was spending last week-end with the Richan Vulgars,” or “My great friends, the Gotta Crusts.” When a so-called gentleman insists on imparting information, interesting only to the Social Register, shun him!   13
  The born gentleman avoids the mention of names exactly as he avoids the mention of what things cost; both are an abomination to his soul.   14
  A gentleman’s manners are an integral part of him and are the same whether in his dressing-room or in a ballroom, whether in talking to Mrs. Worldly or to the laundress bringing in his clothes. He whose manners are only put on in company is a veneered gentleman, not a real one.   15
  A man of breeding does not slap strangers on the back nor so much as lay his finger-tips on a lady. Nor does he punctuate his conversation by pushing or nudging or patting people, nor take his conversation out of the drawing-room! Notwithstanding the advertisements in the most dignified magazines, a discussion of underwear and toilet articles and their merit or their use, is unpleasant in polite conversation.   16
  All thoroughbred people are considerate of the feelings of others no matter what the station of the others may be. Thackeray’s climber who “licks the boots of those above him and kicks the faces of those below him on the social ladder,” is a very good illustration of what a gentleman is not.   17
  A gentleman never takes advantage of another’s helplessness or ignorance, and assumes that no gentleman will take advantage of him.   18
   
SIMPLICITY AND UNCONSCIOUSNESS OF SELF

  These words have been literally sprinkled through the pages of this book, yet it is doubtful if they convey a clear idea of the attributes meant.   19
  Unconsciousness of self is not so much unselfishness as it is the mental ability to extinguish all thought of one’s self—exactly as one turns out the light.   20
  Simplicity is like it, in that it also has a quality of self-effacement, but it really means a love of the essential and of directness. Simple people put no trimmings on their phrases, nor on their manners; but remember, simplicity is not crudeness nor anything like it. On the contrary, simplicity of speech and manners means language in its purest, most limpid form, and manners of such perfection that they do not suggest “manner” at all.   21
   
THE INSTINCTS OF A LADY

  The instincts of a lady are much the same as those of a gentleman. She is equally punctilious about her debts, equally averse to pressing her advantage; especially if her adversary is helpless or poor.   22
  As an unhappy wife, her dignity demands that she never show her disapproval of her husband, no matter how publicly he slights or outrages her. If she has been so unfortunate as to have married a man not a gentleman, to draw attention to his behavior would put herself on his level. If it comes actually to the point where she divorces him, she discusses her situation, naturally, with her parents or her brother or whoever are her nearest and wisest relatives, but she shuns publicity and avoids discussing her affairs with any one outside of her immediate family. One can not too strongly censure the unspeakable vulgarity of the woman so unfortunate as to be obliged to go through divorce proceedings, who confides the private details of her life to reporters.   23
   
THE HALL-MARK OF THE CLIMBER

  Nothing so blatantly proclaims a woman climber as the repetition of prominent names, the owners of which she must have struggled to know. Otherwise, why so eagerly boast of the achievement? Nobody cares whom she knows—nobody that is, but a climber like herself. To those who were born and who live, no matter how quietly, in the security of a perfectly good ledge above and away from the social ladder’s rungs, the evidence of one frantically climbing and trying to vaunt her exalted position is merely ludicrous.   24
  All thoroughbred women, and men, are considerate of others less fortunately placed, especially of those in their employ. One of the tests by which to distinguish between the woman of breeding and the woman merely of wealth, is to notice the way she speaks to dependents. Queen Victoria’s duchesses, those great ladies of grand manner, were the very ones who, on entering the house of a close friend, said “How do you do, Hawkins?” to a butler; and to a sister duchess’s maid, “Good morning, Jenkins.” A Maryland lady, still living on the estate granted to her family three generations before the Revolution, is quite as polite to her friends’ servants as to her friends themselves. When you see a woman in silks and sables and diamonds speak to a little errand girl or a footman or a scullery maid as though they were the dirt under her feet, you may be sure of one thing; she hasn’t come a very long way from the ground herself.   25
 
 
CONTENTS      BIBLIOGRAPHIC RECORD
 
 
 
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Offline ~Hanna~

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Re: Why don't alot of American men know how to treat a woman properly????
« Reply #12 on: September 01, 2009, 10:07:33 PM »
This is good, yes, I've never owned a  pearl, rofl.

Or had a maid or a footman, or butler or ....
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