Massuh,
I could respond to each of your concerns but at this time I think it would be a waste.
The Talmud, the Kabbalah and all historical Jewish sources say that Hashem is a Merciful G-d. Reading the very first Parasha of Beresheit the commentators come to the absolute conclusion that the reason the Universe was created was for Hashem to have a people to be merciful to. This is not invented in the last 1000 years... This is from the mouths of the sages of the days of old.
You also seem to have an issue with the fact that some Jewish institutions demand payment in order to attend services. Well, to tell the truth I hardly pay anything and yet I am a member of a local community. Indeed I do give Tzedakkah to these organizations, but it comes from my heart and my will to give what I can give in order to support the furthering of Jewish education.
I guess you will have to deal with Hashem in your own way on judgement day.
I think I will start a thread on the awesome wondrous good deeds Hashem did for us in the desert, and still does for us to this day...
PS: Look at my current signature line, it is the 2nd Aliyah for Haazinu {and I had this Aliyah for last Shabbat}...
Parasha Haazinu - Devarim 32:7-11
Remember the days of old; reflect upon the years of [other] generations. Ask your father, and he will tell you; your elders, and they will inform you.When the Most High gave nations their lot, when He separated the sons of man, He set up the boundaries of peoples according to the number of the children of Israel.Because the Lord's portion is His people Jacob, the lot of His inheritance.He found them in a desert land, and in a desolate, howling wasteland. He encompassed them and bestowed understanding upon them; He protected them as the pupil of His eye. As an eagle awakens its nest, hovering over its fledglings, it spreads its wings, taking them and carrying them on its pinions. [So] the Lord guided them alone, and there was no alien deity with Him.
Do you think King David was in it for the money? I hope not... Yet he wrote:
Tehillim 136
Give thanks to the Lord because He is good, for His kindness is eternal.
Give thanks to the God of the angels, for His kindness is eternal.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords, for His kindness is eternal.
To Him Who performs great wonders alone, for His kindness is eternal.
To Him Who made the heavens with understanding, for His kindness is eternal.
To Him Who spread out the earth over the water, for His kindness is eternal.
To Him Who made great luminaries, for His kindness is eternal.
The sun to rule by day, for His kindness is eternal.
The moon and stars to rule at night, for His kindness is eternal.
To Him Who smote the Egyptians with their firstborn, for His kindness is eternal.
And He took Israel from their midst, for His kindness is eternal.
With a strong hand and with an outstretched arm, for His kindness is eternal.
To Him Who cut the Sea of Reeds asunder, for His kindness is eternal.
And caused Israel to cross in its midst, for His kindness is eternal.
And He threw Pharaoh and his host into the Sea of Reeds, for His kindness is eternal.
To Him Who led His people in the desert, for His kindness is eternal.
To Him Who smote great kings, for His kindness is eternal.
And slew mighty kings, for His kindness is eternal.
Sihon the king of the Amorites, for His kindness is eternal.
And Og the king of Bashan, for His kindness is eternal.
And He gave their land as an inheritance, for His kindness is eternal.
An inheritance to Israel His servant, for His kindness is eternal.
Who remembered us in our humble state, for His kindness is eternal.
And He rescued us from our adversaries, for His kindness is eternal.
Who gives bread to all flesh, for His kindness is eternal.
Give thanks to the God of heaven, for His kindness is eternal.