Chaim's Funniest Stories Ever!

[Ari]

The hilarious classic about the so-called affirmative action Columbia University professor on the last "Ask JTF" was great.  I was wondering if forum members would like to recall their favorites from the QPTV programs, etc., over the years.  If Chaim wasn't such a great activist, surely he would have been bigger than so-called comics like Jerry Seinfeld.  Hope everyone in the forum who supports JTF is doing well and has a great Shabbot/weekend.  Take care.

Ari

[Ari]

That's surprising.  I thought this would be a pretty popular category.  Oh well, maybe overlooked.

[christian_love]

mine is the katrina one, i love his impression of the new orleans mayor, "bush, get your ass down here"

[AussieJTFer]

I like the one about the self-hating Rabbi who didn't allow the JDL to protest against the Soviets in the 80s across the road from his synagogue. When they come to arrest Chaim, the rabbi goes to the Italian cop, "he called me a [censored] lover" and the cop goes to him, "well, are you?". LOL!

[Allen-T]

The hilarious classic about the so-called affirmative action Columbia University professor on the last "Ask JTF" was great.  I was wondering if forum members would like to recall their favorites from the QPTV programs, etc., over the years.  If Chaim wasn't such a great activist, surely he would have been bigger than so-called comics like Jerry Seinfeld.  Hope everyone in the forum who supports JTF is doing well and has a great Shabbot/weekend.  Take care.

Ari

If everyone had listened to me there would have been a whole show of such stories, but noooooooooooooooooooooooo!! I will be asking Chaim the same question for several weeks until I get a whole CDs worth of stories. 

[judeanoncapta]

I like the one about the self-hating Rabbi who didn't allow the JDL to protest against the Soviets in the 80s across the road from his synagogue. When they come to arrest Chaim, the rabbi goes to the Italian cop, "he called me a schvartza lover" and the cop goes to him, "well, are you?". LOL!

You took the words right out of my mouth.

That's my favorite too.

I've listened to that one atleast 20 times.

[OdKahaneChai]

I like the one about the self-hating Rabbi who didn't allow the JDL to protest against the Soviets in the 80s across the road from his synagogue. When they come to arrest Chaim, the rabbi goes to the Italian cop, "he called me a schvartza lover" and the cop goes to him, "well, are you?". LOL!

You took the words right out of my mouth.

That's my favorite too.

I've listened to that one atleast 20 times.

I don't think I've heard that one.  Can somebody give me a link?

[newman]

I like the one about the smelly arab on the bus he had to sit next to...."Boy do they stink!! They stink on ice! Is there something in your evil religion against bathing? Why don't you bath in the oil?! It smells better than you do."

There's also a good one about "turning over jewish gaza to arab slop" on masada 2000

http://masada2000.somebodyhelpme.info/JTF-Audios.html

[OdKahaneChai]

I like the one about the smelly arab on the bus he had to sit next to...."Boy do they stink!! They stink on ice! Is there something in your evil religion against bathing? Why don't you bath in the oil?! It smells better than you do."

Do you know where that one is?  I don't think I've heard that one either.

[Ari]

Hey Allen-T,

Yeah, that's a good idea you have about the CD.  You brought a gem out of Chaim last week, and hopefully the hits will keep on rolling in each week.  It would be great if some compilation could be created.  We have to think of some way to do this.  Be well.

Ari

[Ari]

Oh, and I remembered a funny one from QPTV from a while back.  He was talking about schwartzes and said something like "why is it that every time I see one of them interviewed on television, they have a fly buzzing around their head.  Every single time.  Maybe, I could understand if it were in the middle of summer on a stinky, hot day, but even in the dead of winter they have their flies.  I never see a fly outside in winter except if it's on a schwartze's face.  Every single time.  Do these people not bathe"?