Finding a Virgin to Marry!

[Ari]

In an ideal world I agree with Yacov and C.F. that it would be great and noble to find a "pure" woman to wed.  The question is in this society is this really possible, barring very unusual circumstances, especially as one gets older?  If you do believe it is still possible, where do you suggest one look for such a prize?  It would seem to me about as rare as winning the lottery, though I am sometimes cynical by nature.  I guess if you were raised very religiously from a young age it is more likely.  However, keep in mind, I was brought up in so-called Conservative Judaism (yes I have to admit this unfortunately) and have only become more involved in true Torah Judaism more recently.  Also, do you believe women can be forgiven if you find out they have a rather promiscuous nature.  Some people might view this as a minor character flaw, but I find it rather disgusting and have a hard time putting it out of my mind.  In the past, I have stopped dating women immediately when they gave clues of their past lewd conduct.  Some people thought I was being a prude, but I guess I have a hard time over-looking this.  Any suggestions would be appreciated.  Hope all are well. 

[Ari]

Yes, Yacov.  I agree, but since I am almost 30 I imagine most of the religious women around my age are probably married already.  How young a women do you think I could marry at my age?

[Lisa]

Why don't you have your rabbi set you up with someone?

[Ari]

Sounds like a good idea, Yacov.  I had similar thoughts.

[AussieJTFer]

The problem with orthodox (moreso ultra-orthodox) is that alot of their marriages are arranged and they get married young.
The Talmud says that a non-virgin is only worth half of a virgin in terms of the marriage dowry I think. Promiscuous women are a blight on womanhood.

[Allen-T]

In an ideal world I agree with Yacov and C.F. that it would be great and noble to find a "pure" woman to wed.  The question is in this society is this really possible, barring very unusual circumstances, especially as one gets older?  If you do believe it is still possible, where do you suggest one look for such a prize?  It would seem to me about as rare as winning the lottery, though I am sometimes cynical by nature.  I guess if you were raised very religiously from a young age it is more likely.  However, keep in mind, I was brought up in so-called Conservative Judaism (yes I have to admit this unfortunately) and have only become more involved in true Torah Judaism more recently.  Also, do you believe women can be forgiven if you find out they have a rather promiscuous nature.  Some people might view this as a minor character flaw, but I find it rather disgusting and have a hard time putting it out of my mind.  In the past, I have stopped dating women immediately when they gave clues of their past lewd conduct.  Some people thought I was being a prude, but I guess I have a hard time over-looking this.  Any suggestions would be appreciated.  Hope all are well. 

I was the most vile piece of excrement at one time, certainly someone who did not deserve such a blessing, but God blessed me with a virgin wife, who was in her 30's when we married. In no way shape or form did I deserve that. Pray, my friends, pray. But I would also like to add, any woman that truly turns from her sins and puts her life in Gods hands should be looked upon as no different than a virgin. Some virgins might be evil people, or have real sin issues in other areas. I knew a lovely Christian woman in Europe who was a missionary's wife. He was American and she was British. I almost fell out of my chair when, after knowing them for a short while, she told us she was a prostitute at one time. I still don't believe it. This woman was very special. It was very clear that God can work changes we cannot even comprehend. 

[Lisa]

I will play devil's advocate here for a moment. 

I've read account of young women who are technically virgins (with intact hymens) who have nonetheless engaged in oral and anal sex, wanting to save "the real thing" for marriage.  To me, those women are NOT virgins, but sluts.

What do you all say?

[Allen-T]

I will play devil's advocate here for a moment. 

I've read account of young women who are technically virgins (with intact hymens) who have nonetheless engaged in oral and anal sex, wanting to save "the real thing" for marriage.  To me, those women are NOT virgins, but sluts.

What do you all say?

Yes, I agree. There is even a rhyme about such mentality, but I will spare you

[judeanoncapta]

I will play devil's advocate here for a moment. 

I've read account of young women who are technically virgins (with intact hymens) who have nonetheless engaged in oral and anal sex, wanting to save "the real thing" for marriage.  To me, those women are NOT virgins, but sluts.

What do you all say?

According to Jewish law, a woman who engages in anal sex, is no longer considered to be a virgin. Intact hymen or not.

[ScotcH]

According to Jewish law, a woman who engages in anal sex, is no longer considered to be a virgin. Intact hymen or not.

A women who CONSENTUALLY performs Anal Sex is no longer a Women but a BEAST !
A man who performs Anal Sex has been to JAIL one to many TIMES !  

[Sarah]

It is important for un-married men to be virgins as well and i respect those who are.

[Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks]

I will play devil's advocate here for a moment. 

I've read account of young women who are technically virgins (with intact hymens) who have nonetheless engaged in oral and anal sex, wanting to save "the real thing" for marriage.  To me, those women are NOT virgins, but sluts.

What do you all say?

Do you really need ask us, lol? These sluts are fooling only themselves, and I doubt even they buy what they are doing.

[Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks]

Oral and anal sex are absolutely forbidden, even in marriage.

Scripture please?

[Yantan]

Well i am unsure since all of the men i have been out with are gentiles, this is because i was not raised in a Jewish household! Should i therefore only go on to date Jewish men? A certain ex-member (gentile) liked to smack Jewish women about and had once been a male escort - is this really the type of people on this forum, i hope not!

[Dexter]

i dont think you should meried somone 18 years old.
mabey somone 25-20 years old...at least.

[Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks]

They are forbidden because you are not allowed to spill your seed. The seed can only go into the woman during vaginal sex. Masturbation is also wrong for the same reason. I assume anal sex is also bad because it is abnormal.

I understand that you are coming from Judaic teachings, but you still did not show me any verses or quotes. Masturbation is sinful because it is lustful. How can lovemaking between husband and wife be lustful?

You are not allowed to kiss genitals so you can't perform oral sex on a woman either.

I think that Song of Songs might beg to differ on that.

[Lisa]

And not to get too graphic here but how is performing oral sex on a woman wasting seed?

[Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks]

And not to get too graphic here but how is performing oral sex on a woman wasting seed?

Hard for me to see that, lol. 

BTW even if no contraception of any kind is used the majority of vaginal sex acts do not result in any conception. Isn't that wasting seed too?

[Joe Schmo]

And not to get too graphic here but how is performing oral sex on a woman wasting seed?

Don't need those images.

[Shoshana]

I think finding a virgin to marry and waiting until marriage for sex is a wonderful and admireable thing. Good luck!

[Lewinsky Stinks, Dr. Brennan Rocks]

Well, wish me luck there. It isn't easy. 

[Shoshana]

Marry as young as possible. You can marry an 18 year old if you want. They get married young and have many kids. If you can support a family, maybe they would want an older man.

I agree that maybe you should be on the look out for a younger gal who wants a big family and a traditional lifestyle. An older man might be right up her alley.

[Shoshana]

Well, wish me luck there. It isn't easy. 

Yes I'm sure. Although really if you only want a virgin it really narrows down your options. Can't have someone with children already who are divorced or divorced period. Can't have someone who did something stupid one time. You know?

[Lisa]

BTW even if no contraception of any kind is used the majority of vaginal sex acts do not result in any conception. Isn't that wasting seed too?

Observant Jews are prohibited from having intimate relations two weeks out of each month.  This is due to the woman's monthly cycle.  I think they say two weeks instead of one just to be on the safe side, but then again, one of the more observant Jews would know more about that than I would.  Another reason I think is so the husband and wife can appreciate each other more. 

Now regarding the remaining two weeks of the month, I am not a doctor, so I can't say for sure whether or not each act of intimacy in that timeframe would result in a pregnancy, or not. 

[Dexter]

And not to get too graphic here but how is performing oral sex on a woman wasting seed?

you ARE to graphic