Q: When is it permissible to spit on a Turkish woman's face?
A: When her mustache is on fire.
A lady wants to rent out her basement out, the problem is that she has a lifetime collection of used maxi pads stored in her basement. The first guy that comes to see the basement is an Italian fellow. The lady lets him see the basement. About ten minutes later the guy comes out and says, "The basement is nice but there is a weird smell down there."
The next guy, an Irishman, comes to see the basement and has the same reaction.
The lady thinks to herself, "I'm never going to rent out the basement".
At that moment, a Muslim comes to the door and wants to see the basement. He goes and in ten minutes comes out and says he'll rent it. The lady was surprised and asked, "Didn't you find anything wrong with the basement?" The Muslim replied, "No, but do you have any more jelly rolls?"
A cannibal goes to his local food market and notices that a Jewish brain sells for a hundred dollars a pound while a Muslim brain has a price tag of over a thousand dollars per pound. So he asks the butcher "Why is the Muslim's brain so expensive?"
The butcher replies "It's very simple, we need a least a dozen Muslim brains to get one pound."
Ahmed the Muslim was working hard all day in the sun while his boss (a Jew) was sitting in his air conditioned office all day and still got paid four times as much as he did.
Eventually this got to Ahmed and so he went to the Jew and said, "Hey, Boss, what is this, you sit in your office all day and I'm slaving away outside in the heat and still you get paid four times more than I do?"
His boss replied, "Yeah, well, it's all about common sense."
Ahmed was confused, "Common sense?"
His boss said, "Yes, I have common sense and the company pays more to people who have common sense. Come with me outside and I'll demonstrate."
So the Jew went to the nearest tree, put his hand up against the tree and told the Muslim to pick up a spade and hit his hand with all his might.
Ahmed at first refused, but his boss assured him that he wouldn't get fired and eventually Ahmed did as he was told, and obviously, the Jew moved his hand before Ahmed could hit it.
"See: common sense," said the boss.
Impressed, Ahmed went back home to his village and decided to tell everyone what he had learned while working for the Jew: "I have learned common sense from my boss."
Everyone seemed impressed although they didn't really know what Ahmed was talking about, so one man asked, "What do you mean, common sense?"
Ahmed said, "Let me demonstrate."
So he looked around for a tree, but the village didn't have any, so Ahmed put his hand to his face and said, "Hit my hand with a shovel."
Q: What do you call a man who performs abortions on Muslim women?
A: A Crime Stopper.
A Frenchman was walking on a crowded street in Paris telling his friend the most offensive Muslim jokes ever heard. I translated a few for my American friends, and was asked how come the Frenchman wasn't afraid of telling these very bigoted Muslim jokes in public, aren't there a lot of Muslims in France? I replied that he had nothing to fear, it is a rare thing to find a French Muslim who understands or speaks French.
A Muslim boy in Pakistan wants to impress his dad with something smart he has done, so he tells him, "Daddy, instead of taking the bus today, I ran after it to school so I saved 20 rupees.
The father isn't impressed: "You idiot! Had you run after a taxi you would have saved 100 rupees".
A Muslim walks into a bar.
No-one survived the blast.
Spurred on by the attacks in Mumbai, Muslim terrorists have stormed the streets of Paris and are shooting anyone who isn't a Muslim.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 12.
Q: What's sad about a ferry with 100 Muslims sinking in Bangladesh?
A: The boat had a capacity of 1,500.
Q: What's two miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Shiite Parade.
Q: What is the difference between a men's basketball team and Iraqi women?
A: The basketball team showers after the fourth period!
Q: What's the latest Muslim invention?
A: A helicopter with an ejection seat.
(See more Muslim inventions here)
I keep hearing about all these Muslim teenagers being brainwashed.
Well, at least that's one part of their body that won't smell.
http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/2011/02/racist_muslim_jokes.htmlhttps://www.liveleak.com/view?i=d61_1392680839
Topic: Islamic comedy central taken down on facebook. They're back and big (Read 39246 times)