Author Topic: The funniest shvartza joke in existence. (Read 9030 times)

DownwithIslam · « **on:** July 27, 2007, 01:47:33 AM »

Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest d***," he says. "Okay," they all agree.

The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.

That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.

"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest d***."

"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.

"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"

The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."

newman · « **Reply #1 on:** July 27, 2007, 01:49:10 AM »

DownwithIslam · « **Reply #2 on:** July 27, 2007, 02:03:56 AM »

An old Souther planter goes into the hospital and is informed by the doctor that his condition is pretty serious. In fact, he's going to require a heart transplant.

"Well, doctor," drawls the planter, "you'd best get on with it. But whatever you do, just don't give me the heart of a black man."

When he comes out of the anaesthetic, the doctor is leaning over his bedside anxiously. "Cal," he says, "I got to use a black man's heart." Cal pales. "But the good news is: your penis is three inches longer.

DownwithIslam · « **Reply #3 on:** July 27, 2007, 02:04:53 AM »

Q: What's long, black and smelly?
A: The unemployment line.

newman · « **Reply #4 on:** July 27, 2007, 02:22:34 AM »

During the civil rights era of the 1960s a negro in Alabama was walking into a school house to vote during state elections when he was met by a large, imposing red neck sheriff standing in the door way.

"Where you goin' , boy?"

" I's goin' to vote dah, sheriff"

" Boy, the state of Alabama requies you to be able to read & write if you wanna vote."

" Whah, I can read & write, sheriff"

The Sheriff then presented the negro with a copy of the Hebrew times.

The negro stared blankly and turned the paper every which way, scratching his head before saying in astonnishment.............................

" Whah shucks, sheriff!.....I could read last week!"

nessuno · « **Reply #5 on:** July 27, 2007, 03:39:50 AM »

Quote from: newman on July 27, 2007, 02:22:34 AM

During the civil rights era of the 1960s a negro in Alabama was walking into a school house to vote during state elections when he was met by a large, imposing red neck sheriff standing in the door way.

"Where you goin' , boy?"

" I's goin' to vote dah, sheriff"

" Boy, the state of Alabama requies you to be able to read & write if you wanna vote."

" Whah, I can read & write, sheriff"

The Sheriff then presented the negro with a copy of the Hebrew times.

The negro stared blankly and turned the paper every which way, scratching his head before saying in astonnishment.............................

" Whah shucks, sheriff!.....I could read last week!"

newman · « **Reply #6 on:** July 27, 2007, 05:04:21 AM »

Shoshana · « **Reply #7 on:** July 27, 2007, 09:38:36 AM »

Very funny stuff.

Kananga · « **Reply #8 on:** July 27, 2007, 10:46:41 AM »

Why not Yacov?? It's seems you're allowing all this other racist Nazi garbage to post here.

I'll have you know that the artist of this piece, "A. Wyatt Mann" does a whole entire series on Jews and Zionism also.

http://www.cwporter.com/AWYATTMANNthegenius.htm

It only undermines your cause and JTF to appaulde and support this sorta crap.

mord · « **Reply #9 on:** July 27, 2007, 11:28:19 AM »

He must be a Nazi this cartoonist

judeanoncapta · « **Reply #10 on:** July 27, 2007, 07:24:26 PM »

Hey, Kanaga.

Are you an African?

ape · « **Reply #11 on:** July 27, 2007, 09:16:46 PM »

What does a black Italian do?

steal spaghetti

....It's so stupid that it's funny

DownwithIslam · « **Reply #12 on:** July 27, 2007, 09:20:07 PM »

As far as I am concerned, the only thing that should be banned is material praising Islam, shvartzas and other jew and righteous gentile hating drek.

newman · « **Reply #13 on:** July 27, 2007, 10:51:31 PM »

Quote from: ape_has_killed_ape on July 27, 2007, 09:16:46 PM

What does a black Italian do?

steal spaghetti

....It's so stupid that it's funny

What's black and eats chips?

Half of England.

Bourne · « **Reply #14 on:** July 28, 2007, 01:47:20 AM »

Knanga is correct. This stuff is vile. Blacks are not our enemy. I am with JTF 100% of the way on Israel, but anyone who finds this stuff funny must not have any black friends.

This is what Chaim gets for answering that question the way he did on the last Ask JTF. The one about saving a dog over a black. Chaim was technically correct, but missed the point entirely in my opinion. Of course you save a dog over your enemy, but they are not our enemy. It was a long time ago when they were supporting Jackson and Sharpton in droves. When people supported them, it wasn't primarily because they hated Jews. This racist stuff with naming 1 or 2 or 3 "acceptable" blacks is obscene. Not all blacks are gangstas and have gold teeth. Just like not all Jews are liberals. There are a lot of good blacks out there that support Israel fervently and I'd rather have them any day than white supremacist nazi garbage.

DownwithIslam · « **Reply #15 on:** July 28, 2007, 04:43:01 AM »

Bourne, if you would of listened to all the other shows Chaim has done explaining Black jew hatred, maybe you wouldn't be sticking up for them. Blacks a muslim beasts who hate Israel and if 94% of negros voted for sharpton and jackson then they are all nazi bastards. Save your shvartza sympathy for another forum.

DownwithIslam · « **Reply #16 on:** July 28, 2007, 04:45:09 AM »

You can take your stinky one post and shove it if you are going to stick up for the enemies of the Jewish people. Have you forgotten the crown hights pogrom and all the other nazi shvartza acts. Blacks are not pro Israel and you are simply making that up.

newman · « **Reply #17 on:** July 28, 2007, 04:50:52 AM »

The majority negroe view:

" Dem Joos is nuttin' but a bunch o' crackers dat dun stole our black ass outa afrikka.....ummm hmmm."

Dexter · « **Reply #18 on:** July 28, 2007, 05:16:56 AM »

Hehe (I actually understood joke in english, cool !)

newman · « **Reply #19 on:** July 28, 2007, 05:28:13 AM »

Quote from: Dexter on July 28, 2007, 05:16:56 AM

Hehe (I actually understood joke in english, cool !)

which one?

Dexter · « **Reply #20 on:** July 28, 2007, 06:16:57 AM »

Quote from: newman on July 28, 2007, 05:28:13 AM

Quote from: Dexter on July 28, 2007, 05:16:56 AM
Hehe (I actually understood joke in english, cool !)
which one?

The first one, but now i read it all, and i understood those jokes too

Dr. Dan · « **Reply #21 on:** July 28, 2007, 07:32:34 AM »

Quote from: Bourne on July 28, 2007, 01:47:20 AM

Knanga is correct. This stuff is vile. Blacks are not our enemy. I am with JTF 100% of the way on Israel, but anyone who finds this stuff funny must not have any black friends.

This is what Chaim gets for answering that question the way he did on the last Ask JTF. The one about saving a dog over a black. Chaim was technically correct, but missed the point entirely in my opinion. Of course you save a dog over your enemy, but they are not our enemy. It was a long time ago when they were supporting Jackson and Sharpton in droves. When people supported them, it wasn't primarily because they hated Jews. This racist stuff with naming 1 or 2 or 3 "acceptable" blacks is obscene. Not all blacks are gangstas and have gold teeth. Just like not all Jews are liberals. There are a lot of good blacks out there that support Israel fervently and I'd rather have them any day than white supremacist nazi garbage.

Bourne, I think you are right...but because it is the overwhelming majority that are against us and racist and jealous..NOT ALL Blacks (and i'm referring to the nation of Africans and not the melanin in their skin) we have to treat each individual guilty until he proves himself otherwise...Now the jokes here, admittedly are relatively funny. However, this forum is definately not a place to display them if we are going to become a mass movement. These kinds of jokes may also start getting these supremacists which we hate just as much.

I also agree that I would rather have ANY race or religion or nation that fervently supports Israel than have ANY TYPE of supremacist whether it were a black, white, chinese, japanese, arab, or even JEWISH one.

Bourne · « **Reply #22 on:** July 28, 2007, 12:16:14 PM »

DownwithIslan, I've been listening to Chaim for years, and have heard it all. He is simply out of touch on this subject. Nowhere near 94% of blacks support Sharpton and Jackson anymore. They haven't in years. Even if they did, then it's that much more important to reach out to the other 6%. Calling them schvartzas is not the way to do it. It is not intellectually stimulating, it's not funny, and it makes us all look like ignorant racists. My black friends go to church and their whole church prayed for the Jews who were being expelled from Gaza last year.

I think a lot of you would be surprised if you actually made any black friends and listened to their political opinions. I work in a corporate environment and many of the blacks I know are fairly conservative (given that they haven't been exposed to JTF yet). I would be appalled to show them this board. It's hard enough to share the show with them when Chaim names the three blacks in the country of whom he approves.

Notwithstanding your crack about my one post, I support JTF and try to spread the word at every opportunity. Please don't make it any harder on us to attract and retain quality members.

If anyone were making these kind of jokes about Jews, my black friends would not stand for it. Keep bringing up isolated incidents from 15+ years ago, like Crown Heights, and you put yourself in the same category as those lunatics that can't let the USS Liberty incident rest. Not that I'm making any comparisons; the point is that sometimes you have to let things go.

I'm not trying to start a huge argument, make enemies or post solely on these types of issues, but when we first started this board, I did not expect to see these types of posts.

Danniecookie, thanks for the support. I always enjoy your questions to Chaim. However the "guilty until proven innocent" comment is backward. The blacks in this country (and other countries) that are not Muslim are not our enemy. Would you like someone who considered all Jews guilty of being liberals until proven otherwise?

newman · « **Reply #23 on:** July 28, 2007, 12:27:30 PM »

You're living in a dreamland if you think Crown Heights was an isolated incident and black anti-semitism is a minority view.

Listen to the comments of 90% of niggro community leaders. Listen to the lyrics of rap music.....those animals are Jew-haters.

OK....some are not. But they are a minority and I don't hear any of these supposed pro-Israel niggros attacking or repudiating the anti-semitic black majority. Silence=approval.

TheCoon · « **Reply #24 on:** July 28, 2007, 04:22:03 PM »

I think the real situation with blacks is somewhere between what Chaim thinks and reality, IMO. I think many blacks are anti-Semitic to some degree, just from my own personal experiences. I think it is related to jealousy and ignorance that started with the black muslim movement. As far as Chaim's attitude towards blacks, I think it is tainted by his experiences in prison which I cannot blame him for. I'd probably see them worse if I had to live amongst hundreds of their most savage and evil brethren.

That said, the last thing we need is posting vile nazi humor about them.