THE CHAIM BEN PESACH GREATEST QUOTE THREAD

[MasterWolf1]

I tought this maybe a fun thread of the best of.. you know how some t.v. shows, radio shows have the best of memorable quotes of a certain individual or show? 

Well here I had an idea a thread called the best of Chaim Ben Pesach Quote Threads. 
This should be good.

[Nic Brookes]

MMMMM HMMMMMM!!!!

[Vito]

"If you believe in nothing, you can be conquered by anything"

I'm steeling that for my political speeches in the future just to let everyone know...

[MasterWolf1]

Oh I remember watching on QPTV a Take Back America when Chaim went about the Black tribes of Africa walking around with doodoo on their heads selling elephant dung at the Congo bank.  And there is David right next and how he doesn't fall on the floor laughing is amazing.  He is sitting there as hard as he can to keep a straight face as Chaim says quote "What they know about banking in Congo or Kenya? They going to trade bananas for elephant dung?"   And David is trying to fight himself from laughing.  I know I was roaring in laughter.

[RationalThought110]

MMMMM HMMMMMM!!!!

A recent headline on ESPN.com was "Mmm, Mmm, Good"

about how "Jason Campbell's efficient night kept the Eagles' defense off balance."

[newman]

(On arabs)

"What a farshtunken people!"

[newman]

In his nasal self-hating Jew voice:

"Oy-oy-oy-oy, I'm sorry Mr. Nazi!  I'm sorry Mr. PLO terrorist!  I shouldn't have hurt you--oy, it's not nice!  I should have hit you with a wet noodle!"

http://masada2000.somebodyhelpme.info/JTF-03302005-Sick%20Jewish%20Guilt.mp3

That's one of my favourites. I quote it to liberal Jews.

[Sarah]

In his nasal self-hating Jew voice:

"Oy-oy-oy-oy, I'm sorry Mr. Nazi!  I'm sorry Mr. PLO terrorist!  I shouldn't have hurt you--oy, it's not nice!  I should have hit you with a wet noodle!"

http://masada2000.somebodyhelpme.info/JTF-03302005-Sick%20Jewish%20Guilt.mp3

LOL. Thats a pretty genius quote, it sums a self-hating liberal Jew up, with class.
I think Chaim is great when he's telling his stories.

I really liked the time when he was recounting the day when he acted as a translator on behalf of that Jewish attorney.

[newman]

Is there an archived version of the one where he said "Everybody has to be an ape....uu uu uu uu " ?

[Trumpeldor]

this thread would be infinitely long if taken seriously

[MasterWolf1]

Monkey see monkey do,, monkey see monkey do,, monkey see monkey do.

[newman]

What was the "Everybody has to be an ape....uu uu uu uu " one on ?