Today I was at a Bar Mitsvah celebration of a child in a classroom that was filled with 12 and 13 year old children, who primarily could be considered, Children of Special Needs, some of them exhibiting signs of severe retardation. HaShem inspired me right then and there to give a variation of the following dvar Torah:
Normally when someone becomes bar mitsvah or bas mitsvah, they are expected to do all of the mitsvos. But that is when that is possible. If someone can’t yet fulfill all of the mitsvos possible, then it is necessary to emulate HaKadosh Baruch Hu, and do what HaShem would do. Halachta beDerachav/Walking in God’s ways, is also one of the 613 commandments.
The Talmud teaches, Ohnes Rachmana Patray, when there is an accident that a person can’t control, it is not that person’s fault, and they should be given mercy. We therefore have to emulate HaShem and not be too tough on ourselves, if there is a mitsvah that we cannot do. Because HaShem decreed mercy upon us. So my blessing for the bar mitsvah boy today, and everyone here, is that we learn to have mercy on ourselves if we can’t yet do a mitsvah.
https://rabbifriedlander.wordpress.com/2018/06/20/dvar-torah-for-a-bar-mitzvah-with-autistic-children-in-the-audience/